• Member Since 30th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Duelist96


Retired writer of almost anything. Lover of RariDash and background ponies.

More Blog Posts36

  • 20 weeks
    Merry Christmas

    I wish all of you a Merry Christmas or whatever holiday that you celebrate around this time of year. I may not be in the best of moods this year, having gone to very dark places and feeling down, but I do hope that all of you have a wonderful time. Take care and be good people.

    0 comments · 85 views
  • 73 weeks
    Merry Christmas/Happy Hearthswarming

    Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas/Happy Hearthswarming. I know 2020 has been a rough year, for a lack of a better way of describing it. But I hope you all are doing well and staying safe.

    0 comments · 120 views
  • 82 weeks
    Let's Have Some Fun

    Some friends and cool people are doing this, so why not.

    1. What is your first name: Marcus

    2. How old are you: 25

    3. What country are you from: America

    4. What do you really look like, pictures are acceptable:

    Read More

    2 comments · 286 views
  • 124 weeks
    Happy New Year and Quick Update

    So I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas and a good Happy New Year.

    As for the quick update, I just wanted to say a couple of things real quick.

    Read More

    6 comments · 675 views
  • 125 weeks
    Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas everyone.

    Hope you all have a wonderful time with friends, family, and loved ones.

    2019 has been my shittiest year, and I expect it to end that way fully in the next 6 days.

    Probably should hope for the best for 2020, but I'm not an optimistic person about it.

    Even then, you all have a wonderful year and may 2020 be a great year for you all.

    1 comments · 117 views
Jul
20th
2019

Not an Update, But I Don't Know What to Title This · 12:12am Jul 20th, 2019

I honestly don't know what to call this, but it's mainly just me talking about a few concerns I personally have. This isn't me confirming or denying anything, but I would like to get this off my chest. So if you're interested, read on after the break.



So as it can be seen for the longest time, I haven't really updated anything, and that's not counting the one-shot I had written. My writing has slowed down extremely, and I guess I found the real reason I have found out.

I'm honestly just depressed with all of it. Now don't get me wrong, I loved writing every story that is there, but as time has gone by, every time I go to write anything, I make such little progress because it just hurts to do so.

Now this isn't me saying I'm quitting writing as of yet, but the thought has heavily crossed my mind many times. Whether I do or don't, I'm not sure as of writing this blog. The other thing I'm not certain of is if I would give a proper goodbye as it would hurt too much to do so after everything I've promised and all these story ideas I have. In the end, a lot of this comes down to what will be a good quality of life choice for me. So this is just something I have to wait and see what my life takes me on.

I've enjoyed all my writings and through them I have met many great people, some of which I have become great friends with. But like all things on the internet, it's not always a good thing. I have met many bad people and people that honestly show off as being good, but getting to know them showed they were just awful. Several of these people had been who edited for me on my stories and have pushed me in a situation where I'm at the tipping point. This was probably the biggest point that has pushed me to the point where I just don't have fun writing anymore. I've been let down enough in this category that if I don't leave for what I had said earlier, then it's because I leave if my newest and final editor attempt doesn't work out.

I won't deny that maybe it's selfish or crazy to quit because of that, but going through so many editors that do very minimal work or ones that I had befriended only to turn out to be an awful human being, I've just had it. I expect honesty in all my editors and my readers because I enjoy any and all critique. This critique has helped me so much, if not in my writing, but just overall in how I interact with my friends if they have any questions regarding their stories.

Following this, I'm not the best at writing (grammar, sentence fluency, word choice, and ect.). I can admit this fully and would never deny it if anyone points it out. Now I have grown from what I started out as, but going through all my stories, I'm stuck making the same mistakes and probably will never fix them.

It sucks. It honestly fucking sucks. I hate knowing this, and if there was something I could do about it, I would in a heartbeat. Not many people know this except for my friends, but getting better at any of this is actually impossible for me. People may freely argue my point that I just need to try harder to get the hang of it, but I'm being honest with all of you. I want to be better, and I would have loved to see where I could go, but this unbreakable wall makes it hard. It's probably the only wall that I will never break, but I can take solace in the fact that I was able to break through others.

As for my critique, there are many that I've had to pick and choose through. Much of what I've done has been a stylistic choice, while others have been what I saw as a better decision. This makes it difficult because I have to pick what critique is actually worthwhile to listen to because much of what I receive is people trying to make the story fit more for themselves. Then there's critique that I pick because it ends up being consistently pointed out by others, but is the same point. This would be critique that I listen to because they're looking beyond what it is they read. I read every critique and sift through what actually makes me think about my own writing and maybe how to avoid making these same mistakes. But as mentioned earlier, I don't seem to break away from these same mistakes.

So in short, I love writing, I've enjoyed everyone that I've interacted with (despite the many bad apples I've had to cut out of my life), but I'm just not enjoying myself anymore. I hate leaving things half finished, but if I have to, then I have to.

I'm not quitting yet, but I do need to start deciding what is best for my own well-being, and real life has been helping to show that I need to make hard decisions and soon.

To any that read all of this, thank you. I'm not expecting sympathy or agreements, or really anything except that you read through this and understand where I've been for so fucking long. I wish all of you the best, and if any are interested, I will be at Bronycon if you ever want to say hi.

In closing, no quitting, but times for decisions need to be made and I wish all of you a good day/evening/night.

Report Duelist96 · 490 views · Story: Fleeting Flames ·
Comments ( 11 )

You could just post the work and just let the grammar Nazis do the work.

I understand were you are coming from on the people issues and truely hope that things work out for you one way or the other and just hope that whatever happens that you can be happy in the end and find what you enjoy.

Just know that while I havent read all your work the works of yours I have read I have thoroughly enjoyed. But do what makes you happy.

Your problem is easy to solve

Just stop caring

Live as you wish
Write as you know
Do what you want

We were lucky enough to see those world's inside your head until now. To know and read everything that you were willing to show us, honestly thank you

But you as an author write for yourself
And live for yourself...

That's it

You really don't have any obligation to us. as I said we were lucky to see those worlds until now.
Good luck

Understandable on all accounts here. But, I do agree with Mr Red-demons-pony. Write what you want, when you want, how you want.

We don't write for fortune or fame, we write what we wanted to read but it didn't exist. Or, maybe it did, but it wasn't done very well, so we took up our own crusade for it. What most of us do here, we do because we both enjoy it, and we wanted to see it done.

Don't ever let anyone take that away from you. If you don't like writing anymore? Then retire from it, but do so because it wasn't enjoyable anymore, not because of the actions of others. I know it sounds selfish, but make the decision of what you do for yourself. Don't let others influence what you want to do or why with their attitudes or actions. This path is yours, and yours alone.

In any case, I wish you all the luck in the world, my friend.

Do what you have to do. I have enjoyed your work, but I think your well-being is more important at this point. If you decide to stop then we will support your choice, no matter what.

I honestly thought you had quit. I've still got some stuff yours in docs.

5091571
I've been running around a lot and dealing with RL stuff, and this thing here as well. I've lost track of so much, and I apologize to you.

5091579
Not to worry life isn't done fucking us just yet. Just wait until it bums a cigarette.

5091999
I lost him in the forest.

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