Going on an indefinite leave... · 4:38pm May 2nd, 2019
Hey, all... I really wish I didn't have to write this... but I think it's for the better.
Over the past couple of months, I've been trying to work on my stories here, but the sheer amount of stuff going wrong irl for me has hindered me completely unable to produce anything I think is good enough for your guys. I think I have about 26 pages of pure, unemotional and simply garbage attempts of finishing chapter 9 of TNQ, a chapter that is supposed to be more emotionally charged than the previous one.
Like I meant on previous posts, I want to make sure everything I publish here, especially for TNQ is the best I can make it. It's the only fair retribution from all the support you guys have given me up until this point. But I simply cannot make it happen right now, and I don't want to keep you all waiting for something that isn't coming anytime soon.
With that in mind, I'm going in an indefinite hiatus until either I manage to fix my life, or until I'm happy with a new sketch for chapter 9. I'm really sorry it reached this point, but right now, there's nothing I can do...
I won't be completely dead, however, I'll be working on short stories on my Discord Server to help me destress from time to time. I don't plan on publishing anywhere else, 'cuz they'll be messy and just for practice stories. But you're always welcome to check them out if you'd like. (They're not pony related though)
Before I go, I'll leave a small part of what I got for chapter 9 that I didn't throw into the trashbin below.
Well, see you all eventually 
-A.M.
...
Sicaria’s grin stretched all the way across her cheeks, her wings fluttering in excitement. “Splendid! We’re gonna rock this city tonight!
Cicah and her sibling cheered their Queen, sitting on their hind legs and clapping their hooves. Sicaria gave a quick bow in mockery before returning her attention to you. “We still have plenty of time before the show. Say, would you like me to give you a tour of the hive? I’m sure us queens can share some notes right?” She winked.
That was a great idea! Every tip you could get from this visit is one less thing for you to worry about screwing up back at your hive. You were about to reply before another subject crossed your mind. A much more important matter to you.
“I’d love to but…” You hesitated for a bit, a tinge of guilt and shame permeating your mind as you put your own desire on top of what would be best for the hive. But still, you wanted to know more, you needed to know more… “Before we go, could we talk more about my mother?”
The question caught Sicaria off guard, you could feel as her grin turned into a worried frown that you touched a sensitive subject. But why was it a sensitive subject? It’s been days since you left the hive and your mother never tried to keep in touch so far, even Cicah visited you before you heard from her!
“Please…” You pressed on. Sicaria gave a quick glance to Cicah, looking for advice. You could feel their silent discussion through their hivemind on what to do. A few moments passed by and you were beggining to worry they wouldn’t agree, but then Sicaria gave you a warm smile.
“Of course my dear. Come with me to my chambers, there are quite a few things we need to talk about,” she said, gesturing you to follow her back to the elevator, but before she picked a floor she called out to Cicah, “Cicah, dear. Why don’t you give her drones a tour around the hive instead? I’m sure they’re more than capable of learning everything our little Queen will need while we have a little talk.”
Cicah gave her a salute while the elevator doors closed.
The Elevator only took you to one level below, Sicaria's personal chambers. It was a huge room filled to the brim with pillows and clothes scattered all around. Everywhere looked there was pink, on the carpet, on the pillows, on the bed, even in the walls. Close to her bed sat a huge dressing table full of makeup and some unknown hair accessories.
“Wow…” you muttered, not really sure if it was in amazement or in pure cringe due to the pink overload.
Sicaria's seemed to pick up on your reaction, chuckling. “What? I like pink.” She showed you her tongue jokingly. She walked to her bed and laid on it, asking you to sit on a pile of pillows that sat in front of her.
After you made yourself comfortable, Sicaria's expression turned into a more concerned one as she asked you, “Tell me, darling, what's afflicting you?”
You slumped back on your pillows, feeling like you wanted to just sink in and be absorbed by the comfy pile. You thought about that question for a moment, gathering everything that was on your mind. “It's just that… Ever since I woke up, I was tasked on establishing my hive and I was so preoccupied with it, that I'm just realizing how little I know about my mother, even my drones know more about her than me sometimes! And now, Cicah came to visit while I haven't heard from her since… it feels like she threw me out…” You said, tears begging to form on the corner of your eyes as you processed all of that.
Good luck, buddy, I hope life will start looking up for you soon. If you need something or just want to talk, well, you know where to find me ;)
Work your shite out dude then make sure it’s worked out. Only then May your return become true.
I'm touch!
Hope you work out your life stuff, and hope you stay safe man
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Have a good day and hope to hear from you sooner then you think.
PS I'm glad the accident know as The Big Bang happened, but please don't do a second bang while your gone. I want to be here when you come back.
Sorry to hear that you're leaving, even if it's not forever. For what it's worth, I've enjoyed The Nameless Queen up till now, and I trust you to be able to write again in your own time. And sorting out stuff in real life takes precedence over this. The story can wait until your life calms down from all the turmoil.
May the Lord Jesus go with and keep you. I hope and pray for your healing, and that the bad stuff in your life gets ironed out.
Good luck! Hope you come back soon!
Dang man, I really hope things get better for you. Good luck, take as much time as you need, we'll be awaiting your return.
Hey yeah no worries. Personal stability is worth more than satisfying fans. You gotta make yourself happy, don't stress about us, we'll still be here (that's what the Favorites folder is for after all
)