Bothering · 3:34am Jan 24th, 2019
I need to know if I should really put in the effort on a few things. If I should even bother with them at this point.
Who kept up with my fics? Who has been genuinely entertained by them? Who actually wants to see them continue? And above all, who needs it to be me who continues them? Because honestly, I can't justify all of this.
I won't do filler this time. I need to know, for me. Someone, anyone, everyone - tell me if the projects I have here matter. There are only two now that hold any significance to me, Talking is Hard and Humility, and an argument can be made for The Locals. But these others? All the ones I have in my unpublished folder. And especially Fullmetal Pony...that one, from its earliest days, was a struggle, and the way it makes me feel now really isn't worth the effort I've put in to it. Both published and planned.
Should I bother? Would it make a difference if it was me writing these stories? Honestly the one that's most important to me to finish is my Humility project - all the others have been spur-of-the-moment projects, and the moments passed a day after they went live. And the feeling of revulsion I get from FMP thanks to the circumstances I allowed... I can't really look at it anymore. I certainly can't enjoy it. It's become a chore, a challenge I can't meet.
If it truly makes a difference whether or not I'm the one writing for these projects, then I need to know. From any of you, the people who were once entertained by what I provided. If it doesn't make a difference, then hell, someone else can take over. The sheer length of time between chapters, along with my differing approaches, makes it plain that I'm not meant to stay here. Part of me is wondering if I was ever meant to be here.
I don't know if I'm gonna continue. The fact that I feel so anxious now, just being here, is enough reason for me to focus entirely on some new interest. Something original. Something that will let me move on, rather than let these projects sit in the back of my mind like a tumor. I'm happy to let someone else take over, and yet I can't just walk away. Not without knowing.
So again, for real. I need to know. Should I bother?
~Leo
Yes, you should bother.
I do enjoy the stories you've done that I've read
I've enjoyed what I've read of your stories so I think you should continue. If you give the story away it won't be your story. Whatever plan you had, whatever direction you wanted to go with it, it'd be gone.
If you still enjoy these stories, then you should keep writing them. But if they've burnt you out, if the passion and drive are gone, if it's a chore and a pain to continue, then stop. Professional wiring may require you to slog through even when it's unenjoyable, but this is fanfiction; we write for fun here. And if writing these stories is no longer fun - not just certain sections that you're struggling with, but the story as a whole - then stop. Turn and walk away. If you find the motivation and desire again later, then return. If not, then don't. You have an obligation to one person and one person alone: yourself. Will I be disappointed that I won't get to read more of FMP? Sure, for a bit, but I'll get over it. Far more upsetting for me is continuing to read a story that so held my interest once, but now suffers in quality because the author doesn't care about it anymore. If you want to write, then write. But if you don't want to write, then I don't want to read.
I'll be honest: I'm only here for Humility.
But it wouldn't be the same if it's not YOU the one writing it. The story is great and caught me because of the plot, and the way you presented it.
So, yes, I want the story to continue. And, if you want to, I want YOU to be the one who continues it.
I put Fullmetal Pony in my To Read folder a while back, but haven't started it yet. If it really makes you feel that bad to work on it or even think about it, don't finish it, but at least please mark it as cancelled so we all know out there it'll never be completed.
Do you really value opinions of other people because your always going to have a mixed bag no matter what you ask. Fics are much the same instead of asking us what we think we we are going to be more interested in what brought up this topic do you dislike your efforts? What is writing to you, do you want to write as a career? Or is it for fun if so when did something change does it feel like a chore?
I'm sorry that I have not gotten to your fic. Fullmetal Brotherhood is an Anime I watch yearly but I have not been terribly interested in it as I have the Blu Ray sitting in my desk. But that is not to say others may enjoy your fic. It all depends on how you feel and how we as an audience makes you feel. If your asking why you are bothering. It is a question none of us can tell you. The choice will always be yours and yours alone. I hope this comment reaches you well, I hope you are in good health, spirits. Alike.