Absolutely Livid About Artemis Fowl · 6:26am Dec 3rd, 2018
I am, obviously, a huge fan of Artemis Fowl. The books were a cornerstone of my young adulthood, and they helped me get through some tough times. Though my writing of the characters couldn't begin to hold a candle to their original author's, I took pride in writing my fanfiction, Artemis Fowl: The Equine Dominion. For many, many years, rumors floated around the internet of movies and shows based on the beloved book series by Eoin Colfer, and each one in turn made my heart flutter. Fast forward to today.
I had no idea that an actual, realized Artemis Fowl movie was in the works, and naturally I had no idea who would be making it. Until, by chance, I stumbled upon it just an hour ago. A teaser trailer, by Disney. In the one and a half minutes that the teaser was playing on screen, I felt my nostalgic younger self die a little. There are so many things wrong in the teaser, and for many different reasons. Examining the cast only made my hopes drop lower and lower.
There are many inaccuracies present in the teaser, such as the fortune-teller fairy's residence in Ho Chi Minh city. Or the Butler family's ethnicity. Those things, however, are acceptable, and I'm more than willing to look beyond those superficial elements. However, something that can't be looked past is the casting of Commander Julius Root. Julius Root isn't just an extremely important character in his own rights; he also is a catalyst for Captain Holly Short's development, career, and overall role in the beginning of the Artemis Fowl series. Julius Root pushes Holly to go beyond her limits as an officer, so that she can climb a difficult ladder that belongs to a system that seems to be completely against her. And why is that system seemingly against her?
Because, in the books, she is the first female LEPrecon (magic fairy police force) officer. Julius Root pushes her harder than everyone else to prove that she is more than deserving of the title of LEPrecon officer, and to show that she is capable of so much more than what the fairy society gives her credit for. Julius Root is a tough-as-nails war veteran officer, who treats Holly Short harshly, but tenderly. He is an extremely well respected officer, and his mentor-ship of Holly sets the stage for her to come into her own when he dies to a trap set by Opal Koboi later in the series.
Now, do you see a problem with that? Holly's character is so intertwined with Julius's. Holly's character also revolves around overcoming the pressures and challenges and doubts put upon her by her society for being the first female LEPrecon officer. How can that pressure, those doubts, exist at all, if the battle-hardened war veteran commander of the LEPrecon is, itself, a female? How can a society that recognizes and idolizes a female commander for her achievements then also perform a 180 and condemn a rookie officer for being female? The short answer is: it can't. At least, not reasonably. Reasonably.
By changing Julius Root into a female character, the entire foundation for both Julius and Holly's characters crumbles. Not to mention the impact that foundation has on their relationship, their rapport. These characters can never hope to be the same ones from the book series, the characters that I adored and respected and smiled while reading about and cried when tragic things happened to them. There's no chance they could ever begin to compare to their written counterparts.
The Artemis Fowl movie does not look good. The content in the teaser almost appears to be a betrayal of what Artemis Fowl is supposed to be. At least, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong, and the movie will be able to take the changes it has made and create a passable version of the characters' arcs and identities. I won't be holding my breath, however. I won't claim to be the best at writing characters, or creating a cohesive story. Looking at my portfolio on here is more than enough evidence to prove that I'm not.
But the foundation that Disney has poured for their Artemis Fowl adaptation, from my perspective, is full of holes and cracks. Amateur, careless work.
But what do you think? I would love to hear your opinions!
Shit, seriously? Why the hell did they think changing Julius into a female was ok? Like you said, without him being the hard as nails tough guy he is, Holly wouldn't even BE In LEP. I'm sick of this crap. Actors should be the same gender as the character they're playing, end of story.
It's 'Eragon' all over again...
Did you hear about the casting call for Artemis?
Artemis (Lead): Male, 9-13 seeking the lead role of, Artemis; must be 5'3" or below, any ethnicity but must have or can do Irish accent. At first glance Artemis could be mistaken for a rather ordinary child with little athletic ability, but his eyes reveal a flickering of intelligence; inquisitive and possessing both academic and emotional intelligence, he is highly perceptive and good at reading people; most importantly, Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life. No previous acting necessary.
4975858
Are...
Are you serious?
4975869
Sadly yes
The teaser trailer also featured Artemis holding a gun and shooting. Artemis. Holding a gun. Shooting.
Excuse me? Artemis being extremely reluctant about violence has always been a cornerstone of the book series. Butler gets into fight scenes a lot, true, but that's because it's his job as a bodyguard to to protect his principal. But Artemis? No, this is the boy that vowed to be memory-wiped after he unwillingly endangered Haven from his invention in the third book alone. Artemis, who valued knowledge and power above all else, but also prioritized getting these two things through relatively nonviolent means. Seeing him in that trailer killed me.
4975858
Could I get a source for this please?
I have a few friends who are still holding out hope for a decent adaptation.
4975880
http://www.projectcasting.com/casting-calls-acting-auditions/artemis-fowl-feature-film-casting-call-lead-speaking-roles/
It used to be on an official disney page, can't find it anymore.
Disney is handling Artemis Fowl, because of Hasbro? But, what are they going to do about Mulch Diggums given their extreme puritanical basis? Well, from the trailer, the Fairy that Artemis gets The Book from was definitely handled totally differently, in the book story she was in absolutely no fit state to chase Artemis after his offer of help.
Theres also the problem of Artemis mother, because either thats a heck of an actor, or overall theyre going to butcher her character. And Opals.
So, Disney is bringing out the big guns. Magic, Mystery, Ultratech, History, Fantasy and Humans.
Hasbro. Is bringing out Grogar.
At this rate, how long before historical films are made where all the enemy persons are male only, and all the hero persons are female only. On the claim that a female Winston Churchill is fair and imaginative equalitive reinterpreted representation of the known facts.
Anorexia Genderosa. Doesnt matter how female the cast is, it will never be female enough, even if theres no males, due to females filling preciosly male only roles. Once those have been erased, then the Anorexia will just cause ever further style and story breakdown over the decades.
Artemis looks a little chubby there? Butler is supposed to have Subtle style, not a flipping great flashing beacon on his head? As for being warm and welcoming, maybe Disny really doesnt like the idea of having an AI, Alien Intelligence, Higher Functioning Autistic Spectrum character in the lead role, because, well, its the lead role in a Disney movie. The character has to be warm, welcoming and human and relateable?
As for advanced stuff. Ive seen devices announced and theoretical tech in public, that look like something Opal has, never mind Artemis. I saw the basis of an atomic level replicator 30 years ago. Start with a basic laser cooled crystaline matrix protoype with tech line showing how to scan and recover all the way to DNA class organics. If Artemis saw that, he could have an autodoc etc. He also could have a very logical answer to the person never dieing problem that All stories use as a limitation.
But. Julius as Female?
Thats like getting Dwane The Rock Johnson to play Granny Weatherwax.
Wow, well done. Seriously, no sarcasm here.
I agree with a lot of your points, and now I'm going to need a few grains of salt for anything related to this in the future.
Holy... What? And even more what when I read what 4975858 had written. That isn't Artemis Fowl. That isn't the criminal mastermind hell bent on finding his father. That ain't him at all. I can't... Goddammit Disney, you're trying to 'kid friendly' an intense Teen rated series?
4975858
My god, I knew Disney would screw but this... BURN IT WITH HOLYFIRE!
This is just sad.
So not only is butler Discount cobra bubbles + hair, but my boy Beetroot is getting a sex change?? Wtf Disney....few things have disappointed me so quickly...Is Colfer even ok with this???
The Artemis Fowl series got me through a particularly violent middle school. Reading witty dialogue between Arty and whatever toolshed decided to square up to him-knowing that they were just seconds away from finding out that they've been puppets on strings from the very beginning-always helped to ease the aches and pains a bit.
Butler was always a solid foundation to lean on, Juliet was my ray of sunshine, and Mulch was...well, you know. And, of course, we can't forget my fantasy football team of Root and Holly with Foaly running tech support. Gun-toting magic fairies are badass, and I don't care what anyone else says.
That being said, the moment you said "Disney", I knew that I was never going to watch this movie. I refuse to watch some rich D-bag with bags and bags of money butcher one of the few good things about my adolescence the same way Michael Bay trashed Transformers.
4976754
From what I read in an interview, he was a bit nervous about the more drastic changes but interested in seeing how they panned out. "Nothing good is ever easy." he said.