Blog 338 · 6:01am Nov 21st, 2018
IN THAT I TAKE OVER
Hi. You can call me 'C'. I'll fill in for Soufriere as he recovers from his injuries. Usually he posts a video here, so I will too.
My God, his music taste is even weirder than I thought! I guess I should go on before those visuals hurt my head again.
Just so you know a little about me, I met Soufriere (yes I know his real name but I won't tell you, even he doesn't deserve to get doxxed) during one of his many attempts to get a college degree. We live kind of close to each other. I thought about making a move on him, but (1) he was taken at the time and (2) I got to know him and ew. We're still friends though.
Normally, Soufriere would just go dark for awhile, but with how quickly the attack happened, he was still logged into everything. That makes life easy for me. I read his last post and he said he wanted to post the other two parts of that old draft of the shipping story he wrote last year. I don't know why he couldn't have come to me for help. I guess he's still afraid to talk to girls after that breakup two years ago. What a baby. Don't you agree? I mean, really. What sort of man whines on a public forum about a girl who dumped him after eight years when she took him for a big chunk of his net worth? Actually, Soufriere is so cheap -- he makes me pay whenever we buy lunch... at the grocery store hot bar -- I can sort of understand why he wouldn't shut up about it. Also, his ex has really big boobs and an enormous butt. I'd be jealous but she's also really really obese. Well, there's no accounting for taste for either of them.
So, he also left his gdocs open. I can post the next part of that story. He wouldn't let me read it. Actually, he doesn't let his IRL friends read anything he writes. I guess he's afraid we'll laugh at him if we find out he writes My Little Pony fanfiction. He's right. I'm trying not to laugh right now. But, you know. He enjoys it and he says he has regular readers, so I shouldn't laugh at him too hard.
I THINK this is a conversation between the purple horse and the human horse he writes about all the time. Clear as mud.
«I’m not really sure what to do. In the ten years I’ve lived in this world, I’ve manipulated boys to do my bidding and girls to take each other out for my benefit. But… I’ve never had feelings for anyone. Especially not a girl. Especially not one who has become my best friend. Although the idea that I would ever have friends at all is still something I’m trying to wrap my head around.»
««What’s the big deal?»»
«Three, actually. One: She’s younger than me, significantly so, even though she doesn’t realize it, and I worry about a repeat of the Flash incident. Two: Such relationships are not looked upon as fondly here as they are in Equestria, which makes sense when you remember that Equestrian ponies reproduce at about a 5:1 ratio in favour of females whereas this world is an almost perfect 1:1 sexual balance. Third, I’m not entirely certain these feelings are real, or if it’s simply dependency on my part that manifested because she helped me at my lowest; if that’s the case, then starting a relationship would be incredibly unhealthy.»
««I see. Those are all valid concerns. Nothing can be done about the first two. The third one, though, I think we can deal with. She’s not your therapist or psychiatrist; she’s your friend. The basis of the relationship is fundamentally different. She didn’t help you because you were paying her or it’s her job; she did it because she cares. With all the time you two have spent together over the past six months, it’s not a shock you’d find yourself becoming attracted, especially since you do have things in common.»»
«Like what?»
««I’m sorry, but I once asked Princess Celestia to tell me about your past. She refused to say much, but I learned enough to infer this: You were both rejected by your parents for who you were and where your interests lay (although of course you had it far worse). Both of you were taken in by someone who saw something special in you and wanted you to realize your true potential. Most importantly, both of you have stared into the abyss, losing everything and having to work to get it back.»»
«There is one more thing.»
««What?»»
«I’m considering returning to Equestria. I’ve been here long enough. After making peace with the last of my demons, there’s no point in my hiding out here anymore.»
««…I see. …Does she know?»»
«Yes.»
««Then you have a decision to make. The sooner you do so, the better.»»
«What would She advise me about this?»
««You already know that answer. It’s late over there, isn’t it? You should get some sleep. I hope you’ll tell me how it went.»»
«I might… Good night.»
Well, there it is. I guess. It's awfully short but that's what was there. I'll be back on Thanksgiving Day to post the last bit of the story.
Thanks for reading this blog. I can't believe he wrote 337 of these things. If he spent more time writing actual stories and less time blogging about stupid stuff, he might not have been such a basket case. But I really shouldn't speak ill of the nearly dead. I look forward to hearing from you while I'm logged in as Soufriere! Boy is he going to be confused when/if he wakes up!
--C
Soufriere's a pretty good friend. :) Anyone who gives me the time of day and reads my stuff is. ;P
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Make sure Soufriere stays away from computer screens for a bit would you? For that matter, be really careful when messing with any writing of theirs.