The absurdity of violence · 11:15pm Oct 13th, 2018
A tooth lived an impossible dream. It flew without wings, free of the sometimes dark, crowded prison in which it had existed for the entirety of its life. Somehow, it resisted the siren’s call of gravity, arcing ever-upward—but like all dreams, those nightmarish and pleasant alike, the miraculous flight approached its middle. At the peak of its arc, it tumbled through the air, as if weightless, and then as dreamers who dream of the impossible do, began its descent as reality asserted itself.
The glorious dream ended as the tooth clattered against the wooden floor.
Pinkie Pie bounced from hind hoof to the other, almost as if she was doing the hokey-pokey, and she turned herself about. Her arrival had been the source of much surprise among the invaders—Pinkie Pie loved surprises and she lived to surprise others. Though she had been the one who had been quite surprised a while ago when her Pinkie Sense informed her that somepony was trying to snatch a sorcerer.
This would not do.
Even worse, not long after that, her Pinkie Sense politely announced that Sumac’s nemesis was coming, and that all of Ponyville was in danger. The pink ponk, professional party pony that she was, immediately set out to surprise the surprisers. This hokey-pokey wasn’t very fun and at the moment, two iron-shod hind hooves were headed right for her kisser.
How rude!
Lunging backwards, as opposed to forwards, as lungers typically did, Pinkie Pie grabbed one extended hind leg, got herself a good grip on the left gaskin with her left front fetlock, and then she did the hokey-pokey and put her right hoof in—right into the stallion’s exposed groin. There was a sound that only night terrors—the nocturnal pegasus ponies of the night—could hear, and apparently dragons too, as Boomer paused mid-fireblast to cover her ear frills.
The stallion went limp, but before he hit the floor, Pinkie got ahold of his other leg, and with a mighty heave, she swung him about. Round and round they went, picking up speed, building momentum, and with a light hop, skip, and a bounce, Pinkie Pie bashed another stallion with the one she held. There was a terrific meaty smack, which stood out in a distinct manner against the sound of shattering bone.
But Pinkie wasn’t done, she still had momentum and was armed with a stallion who had to be called Sundae, because he had crushed nuts. There were others in the room, and she bore down on them, swinging Sundae round and round in the wildest, most life-threatening hokey-pokey ever.
So... feedback? Thoughts? Opinions? Please, I'd like to hear from you folks.
Love it. Very Pinkie Pie.
Cool. I always figured that Pinkie Pie was very dangerous in melee.
Beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Sounds like Pinkie.
Nice Pinkie isn't just dangerous in a melee shes a nightmare for the otherside
Light on her hooves, deadly within range, doing the hokey-pokey... That's quite Pinkie.
i'm liking it, it reads like a slow motion fight which feels totally pinkie, and it goes along with the wedding fight of using another as a weapon
Grievous bodily harm with a Grievously harmed body? Check. I'm good here, carry on.... though, Kudzu, a term i'm fond of using in my stories and RP's when someone get's hit by something so large it's kinda pointless to announce what was targetted? " They got hit in their Everything - ". I share this because i feel it's the sort of descriptor that would naturally fit into your stories, so there's that XD either way,keep up the work you lean mean pony writing machine you!