A Reply Given · 6:08pm Oct 5th, 2018
Dear Penpal,
It feels so strange to be writing a letter after all these years, rather than just thinking it and having the words appear. Honestly, it’s a bit refreshing, though I’m afraid I may be rusty at it. My apologies if any of this comes off rushed or messy. I know you were afraid of seeming awkward too, but don’t worry. I know what it’s like to have trouble saying what you really mean. And you did fine, by my count.
Words can be so perplexing, trying to decipher their meaning and intent. But I believe, through your letter, I have seen a brief image of you. I know what it’s like to have others only know you through your writing. Please, don’t vex yourself over how you come across to me. We’re two mares of similar kinds.
One difference between us, I will say, is your desire to always stay inside. For countless years, I have experienced what it is like to be trapped inside a place, without any choice on whether or not you get to leave. Even though you, yourself, are imprisoning you in your home, I can understand feeling like you cannot get out. The difference is that I have craved being outside for so long. Maybe you crave that too, in your own way.
I wonder, do you have any brothers or sisters? Family you might lean on for support? I had a brother who was very sweet and kind to me, very supportive. Parents too, for a time, though their… support didn’t give me the help I so desperately needed. I just know that they can be a light in times of darkness, and it sounds like you are in the very deepest sorts of darkness right now.
I found another light, eventually. I hope you can find one too.
I’ll admit that your letter touched a very special part of me. I too have desperately reached out through my writing, fighting for help, support, an answer, anything that can save you from your own thoughts. And I too know what it’s like to hear silence in return.
You’re not alone. Don’t forget that. Even when the world is quiet.
I see in you a part of me, that looked into the trees at night. That saw their darkness, and heard a faint call. For you to go and play. For you to become a part of that darkness, to let it fill you up so that emptiness inside would finally go away. I have darkness in me now, but also fire and warmth. Together, it keeps me warm on late nights. The trees don’t call to me as much anymore.
Who hurt you so, I wonder? To make you feel the way you do? Who caused you such grief and pain? To see how they have made you feel, to know how you suffer for them… should they not suffer too? I’ve come, through many years, to believe that those who cause pain and do nothing to prevent it again should feel the same pain as their victims. If you are a victim of cruelty, perhaps you should turn it back on them. Despair is so much harder to sleep beside than anger. It might do you well to change bedfellows.
But ah, I have a tendency to ramble! I really shouldn't do that right now. I know you said that you did as well, but still, it feels… rude. I’ve given you all this advice, all these, well, musings, and you’ve never even asked for that! You did, however, ask questions, so allow me to answer them more fully.
I am a pony, like you, and I once lived outside of Canterlot with my family. Perhaps I used to live near where you are now! It was a nice life but, like you, the night came to stay and left me in the dark. In a way, I am still there now. I enjoy writing, oddly enough, but it has a sort of bittersweet feeling to it. Like this is all I know anymore. But I also do enjoy cooking at times too. Your recipe sounds positively delicious, I will have to make it sometime! I have a sweetgrass drink I used to have as a child, and I remember it being very soothing. Perhaps I will give it a try again, thank you for reminding me of it.
For a job? I don’t have much. I have goals, of course, and a mission in my life, but I don’t do anything for bits. Perhaps my job could best be described as… judge. Though not an official one. Your job sounds far more interesting though! The arts have always fascinated me, what ever got you into it in the first place?
I would love to see your paintings someday. You’re a fine storyteller, despite what you say, and I wonder if that’s reflected in your art. The paintings sound ominous in a way, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. To deny the darker parts of life, to ignore it, to choose only to see the good around you? While it can be relaxing, sure, it’s also a lie. A pretty, lovely lie. I know the truth hurts, but don’t give up on it. Your agent sounds like a fool, and I suspect he’ll be sorry if he lets you go.
Penpal, Melody, I find myself feeling protective of you. Maybe it’s because we’ve both been given unfair deals in the past. That we now have a different hand dealt to us than any others. But if you choose to call me friend, I would gladly take that title. I need more friends in this new life I am forging. There is room in my heart for more fire, I think.
You say sorry so much. There's guilt in every misstep you see, even if it's nothing. I know what that’s like, but if you take one piece of advice from me today, let it be this:
Never be sorry. For anything.
I’m not sorry I got your letter, and I’m not sorry to respond. I'm not sorry to know you. I look forward to hearing from you, getting to know you all the better. Tell me more of your life, who you were before now, who you hope to be after! You have a story to tell, and I’d love to read it if you’ll remain open to me. If you need any help from me, just ask for it. I cannot offer money or art help, but I have gained many skills over the years. For you, I would be happy to put them to work.You need only ask.
Take care of yourself until then, and I deeply look forward to your reply.
Love, your new friend,
Muse
(Done in response to Flutterpriest's wonderful story, Just Reply. GO READ IT NOW!)
Well this was a wonderful little diddy and more than I ever would have expected for my story <3 It warms my heart to see someone replying to melody.
It was a beautiful and well written letter and I couldn't help myself but smile.
I'll be writing to Melody, too.
I know how it feels to need a friend. I hope I can be a friend.
Mmmm... I suppose Muse is a nom de guerre... Knowing a couple of mares, who may stay in its shade, and assuming some unknown of Dark Brotherhood nature can equally do. That agent called for it, on his head befalleth. And mayhap a few other equine scoundrels, as mentioned.
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Muse is a character from Broken Bindings, a story I wrote which also has ARG (game) elements to it. The two stories share a few similarities. ;)
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Bookmarked. It's even more interesting this way. Shall see, if 't be true I was close to the truth. As for the last sentence: I can guess
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You were not very close. XD
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The more reasons to find out :p
Well, thy letter (this one) had that tint *shrugs*
Funny story -- someone else opened this on my computer, actually, and I found it half way down the letter. Two sentences and I instantly knew who was writing the letter. It's amazing to be how real you've made her.
This was beautiful, and a bit heart wrenching.
I reviewed this like a story! Hopefully I didn't give the game away. :B