In Which I Beg for Sweet Release From Breaking Dawn: Chapter 8 -- Waiting for the Damn Fight to Start Already · 10:44am Jun 29th, 2018
Waiting for the damn book to end already. Notice something different about the chapter title? For the next ten or so chapters, the book’s narrated by Jacob instead of Bella. And if he’s anything like he was at the end of Eclipse, this is going to be painful. VERY. VERY. PAINFUL.
There’s a “preface” for this section, too. This is it, in its entirety:
Life sucks, and then you die.
Yeah, I should be so lucky.
Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why wye why why…
So. Jacob’s at his house. Paul’s also there; he imprinted on Jacob’s sister. Jacob’s annoyed at Paul for being on his couch and eating his chips, so he breaks Paul’s nose. I know there’s werewolf healing, but Jacob’s already terrible. Jacob mentally whines about imprinting.
All this mandatory love-at-first-sight was completely sickening!
It is sickening, but didn’t you say back in Eclipse that it wasn’t necessarily romantic? Liar. Oh, and we got some anti-intellectualism while Jacob’s thinking about his sister; he says she “graduated early, the nerd” as if it’s an insult. I want Jacob to take a long walk off a short pier in cement shoes. Meanwhile, we also hear about Embry, whose mother doesn’t know he’s a werewolf:
Embry’s mom thought he was going through some kind of rebellious stage. He was permanently grounded for constantly sneaking out, but, of course, there wasn’t much he could do about that. She’d check his room every night, and every night it would be empty again. She’d yell and he’d take it in silence, and then go through it all again the next day. We’d tried to talk to Sam into giving Embry a break and letting his mom in on the gig, but Embry’d said he didn’t mind. The secret was too important.
How is the secret so important? What reason is there for it? “Uh, hey, Mom, just so you know, I can turn into a wolf. Yes, I completely keep my mind. What? No, I don’t want to eat people, gross. Why would I want to do that? I told you, my mind’s the same.” Seriously, Embry should just tell his mother. No, not ask the tribal elders for permission, just tell his mother. Even if he keeps running out, she should know where he’s running out to.
Side note: this whole “supernatural secrecy” thing is a problem not just in Twilight, but in urban fantasy in general that skips freely between the supernatural and the mundane. The amount of effort required, especially in large-scale supernatural communities like in The Dresden Files, is just so mind-boggling that it’d often be easier to come out and accept the prejudices, and there’s rarely any reason to keep it going beyond very vague “discrimination” or something. The one time I wrote an urban fantasy that involved a masquerade like this, the real reason was that the supernatural community had deep-running xenophobia and traditionalism problems of its own, and the masquerade had collapsed because human technology was making it increasingly unfeasible — back in the Sixties.
Then Jacob whines about Bella and whether she’ll come home from the honeymoon. Jacob thinks Edward won’t be able to control himself and will kill her at some point. Eventually, Paul annoys him to the point that he just leaves, goes for a walk, and finds Quil and Claire (the two-year-old he imprinted on) playing on the beach. Claire’s so babyish and sweet that I can feel my teeth rotting and I swear I’m getting diabetes. Quil does anything Claire wants; if she’s happy, he’s happy.
Though I did think it sucked that he had a good fourteen years of monkitude ahead of him until Claire was his age — for Quil, at least, it was a good thing werewolves didn’t get older.
…“Monkitude”? She’s two years old and you’re already thinking about sex? WHAT THE FUCK. I HATE THIS BOOK. I HATE JACOB. I HATE EVERY LAST INDIVIDUAL WHO INHABITS THESE PAGES. (Except Charlie and Alice. They’re cool.)
Jacob asks if Quil’s ever thought about dating when he’s not babysitting Claire. Quil’s shocked at the very idea; that’s how much imprinting screws you up. Then Quil asks the same thing of Jacob, only he’s a little more blunt, thankfully:
”You know, Jake, maybe you should think about getting a life.”
He didn’t say it like a joke. His voice was sympathetic. That made it worse.
A howl from Sam interrupts the meeting, and all the werewolves meet up in the forest. Seth lays out what he’s heard: Bella and Edward are back from their honeymoon, but she caught some rare disease in South America and has to be quarantined, with no visitors. Most of the wolves take this to mean that the Cullens are turning Bella into a vampire right now, as the “disease” gives her a perfect excuse to slip away, but a few want to give the Cullens the benefit of the doubt. Seth points out that Cullens are the Quileutes’ enemies; Jacob says he’s biased, that he has some hero worship going on with Edward.
«So what are you going to do when Bella fights with them, Jacob? Huh?» Seth demanded.
«She’s not Bella anymore.»
«You gonna be the one to take her down?»
I couldn’t stop myself from wincing.
«No, you’re not. So, what? You gonna make one of us do it? And then hold a grudge against whoever it is forever?»
«I wouldn’t…»
«Sure you won’t. You’re not ready for this fight, Jacob.»
What’s this? Sanity? A willingness to treat vampires as people? I’m digging Seth. (Also, the book didn’t include the guillemets. I’m including them because trying to parse all-italics is annoying.)
Sam steps up and lays down what he, as Alpha, thinks. The Cullens are not the wolves’ enemies, and although them turning Bella goes against the letter of the treaty, since it was her choice to be turned, the spirit of the treaty has not been violated. Therefore, the wolves won’t attack the Cullens. Jacob decides to be difficult and leaves the rest of the pack. If the pack won’t attack the Cullens, he’ll do it alone.
Clinginess Meter: 21
You know that one chapter near the beginning of New Moon that left me feeling drained? This is like that, only with rage instead. Jacob’s narration technically feels different from Bella’s, but only because he manages to be whinier. I hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE HATE this chapter and this book.
Deep breath. This is the last book in the series. You can do this.
Ugggggh, I think this is the third time I’m saying this. The werewolves, as presented in this particular setting, get only pure benefit from breaking the masquerade. The only ones who it actually helps are the vampires!
…
…
…
For the record, I meant the concept of werewolves in general as presented here. I still hate individual werewolves.
i.warosu.org/data/tg/img/0373/17/1421031976651.gif
EDIT: Actually, thinking about it a second time, Jacob might have meant that Quil is physically incapable of considering having an adult relationship with someone else, or even just a brief fling. He’s not specifically talking about Claire. Makes the “monkitude” comment slightly less creepy. Only slightly; it’s still talking about brainwashing.
And he seemed like such a nice boy before he started shifting...
So, are you standing by the Clinginess Meter for these chapters, or will you institute some sort of Whininess Meter?
Oh boy, maybe Jacob will get his damn fool ass killed by vampires. :V
Word of the day: guillemets.
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Standing by just the Clinginess Meter. A Whininess Meter would be too much. (But trust me, Jacob's whiny.)