• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Rambling Writer


Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams

More Blog Posts156

  • Tuesday
    Urban Wilds art commission (Content warning: blood)

    A while ago, I commissioned Moonatik for some Urban Wilds art, and I think it turned out great. But fair warning: it's pretty bloody, taking place shortly after Amanita kills her two attackers, so only open this post if you're okay with that. (I checked the site's rules, and it fits in the postable "borderline" category".) Got that? Good.

    Read More

    5 comments · 184 views
  • 2 weeks
    New Hinterlands sequel

    I've been working on another sequel to Hinterlands for over a year, and it's finally ready to be published! Check out the continuing adventures of our hapless necromancer and her bounty hunter friend in the great white north:

    TDeath Valley
    Hostile lands. Frigid valleys. Backwater villages. Shadowy forests. Vicious beasts. Gloomy mines. Strange magics. And the nicest pony for miles is a necromancer. A royal investigation of tainted ley lines uncovers dark secrets in the Frozen North.
    Rambling Writer · 57k words  ·  95  0 · 407 views
    6 comments · 163 views
  • 2 weeks
    Barcast: Last Call, Last Mini-rounds, I'm on Tap

    As you may have heard, the Barcast interview group is sadly closing its doors. But before they do, they're having one last stream: a series of rapid-fire five-minute interviews this Saturday with as many people as they can manage. And guess who decided to sign up?

    Read More

    0 comments · 102 views
  • 59 weeks
    Hinterlands / Urban Wilds fanart

    Recently, Moonatik decided that Hinterlands and Urban Wilds were somehow good enough to merit fanart and drew a picture of Bitterroot and Amanita. I think it's neat!

    Read More

    8 comments · 560 views
  • 63 weeks
    Hi-Fi Rush, the Heartsong, and Demons

    ...Look, I promise that word salad makes sense.

    Read More

    7 comments · 530 views
Jun
22nd
2018

In Which I Beg for Sweet Release From Breaking Dawn: Chapter 1 -- Engaged · 10:48am Jun 22nd, 2018

So. Last book. Here we go.

Clinginess Meter: 0


I hate hate hate hate hate these prefaces. How not to do prologues. Skipping.

Bella’s out in Forks, driving around a car Edward borrowed for her for before the wedding. A really nice car, the Mercedes Guardian, packed with body armor and missile-proof glass. A meeting with some motorheads at a gas station reveals that it’s not supposed to be available yet, not even overseas. Bella doesn’t like it, but her old truck recently had its last gasp and Edward wants to replace it.

Edward swore it was only to be expected; my truck had lived a long, full life and then expired of natural causes. According to him.

Wow. Even Bella’s suspicious of him. She’s probably not suspicious in the same way I am, though.

Bella has a hard time thinking about the wedding, but not for the right reasons:

But more than that, I just couldn’t reconcile a staid, respectable, dull concept like husband with my concept of Edward. It was like casting an archangel as an accountant; I couldn’t visualize him in any commonplace role.

John Glenn was a husband. He was a husband for seventy-three years, from the day he was married to the day he died. He was, by many accounts, one of the kindest, most decent people to have lived. He was also a motherfucking astronaut. And not just any astronaut, but the first American to orbit the earth. He was the only person to be in both the Mercury and the Space Shuttle programs. He was a fighter pilot in World War II and the Korean War. He made the first supersonic transcontinental flight across the United States. How’s that “staid, respectable, dull”? I could go on, but I don’t want to. Also, CM + 1.

Bella’s thoughts meander back to the car and she realizes Edward probably got it for her for protection. She’s not sure if it was a joke or for serious. Of course, she won’t need it once she becomes a vampire:

Virtual indestructibility was just one of the many perks I was looking forward to. The best parts about being a Cullen were not expensive cars and impressive credit cards.

Well, I should hope not. I should hope it was a sense of family, the way they make you feel welcome, simple good-heartedness. But, nope! It’s certain physical attributes.

As Bella drives through town, she once again sees something she’d rather not.

The HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY? posters were not Jacob’s father’s idea. It had been my father, Charlie, who’d printed up the flyers and spread them all over town.

Billy, obviously, knows that Jacob’s run off in “grief” at Bella getting married, but viewed from an outsider’s perspective, his behavior is seriously disturbing and neglectful: he doesn’t put up flyers around La Push and simply shrugs and says, “Jacob’s grown up now. He’ll come home if he wants to.” Jacob’s not grown up. He’s still sixteen. Your own son apparently vanishes, leaves you no indication of where he’s going or how to contact him, and your only response is, “Meh, whatever.”? For all Charlie knows, Jacob could’ve been kidnapped, killed, and had his body dumped in a ditch. After all, just a few weeks ago, there was that slew of murders and disappearances in Seattle. How do you know the killer didn’t come down to Forks and get Jacob?

The flyers bring up sadness in Bella; she wants an update on Jacob, so once she gets home, she calls Seth.

“Oh, hiya, Bella! How are you?”

Choked up. Desperate for reassurance. “Fine.”

CM + 1

Seth says Jacob’s sulking around in Canada, staying as a wolf, but otherwise fine. Side note: thanks to working well with Edward at the end of the last book, Seth’s the only werewolf comfortable around the Cullens. So comfortable, in fact, that before Bella hangs up, Seth tells her to tell Edward he said “hi”.

Before she enters the house, Bella can’t help thinking about how she told Charlie she was getting married. Edward was calm about the whole thing, but Bella was so nervous that Charlie initially thought she was pregnant. Edward went all grand, asking Charlie for his blessing. Charlie reluctantly acquiesced, then burst out laughing and told Bella that she was the one who had to tell Renee. In spite of speaking against early marriage beforehand, Renee was conveniently a-okay with Bella’s early marriage, saying Bella won’t make the same mistakes she made. Of course not, Bella’s going to make entirely different mistakes, and many more of them.

Back in the present, Bella walks in on Charlie getting fitted by Alice for a tux. He’s not that happy about it.

“Now cut that out, Alice. I look like an idiot.”

I object, Charlie. It’s one of the rules of the universe: it doesn’t matter who you are, you look good in a tux. When tuxes can make even me look good, you know that’s true.

Alice has also been waiting for Bella, for the final fitting for her dress. Bella reluctantly submits, and bears with it by going to her happy place, which is nothing but Edward.

Clinginess Meter: 2

Weak opening. Ninety percent flashbacks, recaps, and cars.

Previous | Table of Contents | Next

Comments ( 3 )

How’sthat“staid, respectable, dull”?

He was also a US Senator. By design, there is no occupation more staid, respectable, and dull.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

t h e r e i s n o r e l e a s e

Of course not, Bella’s going to make entirely different mistakes, and many more of them.

It's like you've been paying attention to this series or something. :V

I can't help but think of that one bit from Fifty Shades of Grey where Not-Edward gives not-Bella the latest Apple laptop before its official release. Though at least this doesn't claim that a college-age millennial has never used a computer before.

Also, wow. I'm amazed the whole community isn't up in arms over Billy shrugging at his son's disappearance. Maybe at least pretend he's not actually a massive lupine juggernaut?

Login or register to comment