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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams

More Blog Posts141

  • 2 weeks
    Equestrian Road Rage

    Yesterday, I saw this video, and if Equestria ever gets cars, this is pretty much exactly what pony road rage would look like.

    And then I thought: what would current Equestrian road rage look like if it was actually rage-y?

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  • 21 weeks
    The Automaticity of Magic

    In some ways, I love fantasy because of the easy outs it provides. In other ways, I loathe fantasy because of the easy outs it provides.

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    18 comments · 271 views
  • 62 weeks
    FimFiction Feghoot Festival Future Finalities

    Hello, friends! If you're still planning on writing feghoots for the the First Fimfiction Feghoot Contest, get cracking! The submission deadline is this Friday, July 19th at 11:59:59 pm, Pacific Time. If you beseech Super Trampoline for a short extension via PM, he might give you one, but don't push it. Get those stories in; we're almost

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    3 comments · 145 views
  • 65 weeks
    Looking at the pilot through season 9 eyes

    We’re halfway through the final season already. With the finale so close and almost a decade of pony, I figured I’d take a look at the premiere again. How does it hold up? What looks weird eight seasons later? What sorts of early-series quirks got ironed out later on?

    I stink at introductions, so here we go.

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    15 comments · 435 views
  • 67 weeks
    Feghoot Contest

    Do you like long, drawn-out puns? Do you like subjecting people to those puns? Do you like subjecting me to those puns? Do you like me scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like lots of FimFic-famous authors scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like possibly winning $100 for doing so and having your pun subjected to hundreds of other people in the process? How

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    5 comments · 185 views

In Which I Tolerate Eclipse: Chapter 17 -- Alliance · 1:14pm May 26th, 2018

Edward joins Bella outside the Cullens’ house and they walk inside to Alice has essentially turned it into a nightclub. It’s not long before a bunch of Bella’s “friends” (whose existence feels obligatory at this point) show up and get the party going. Soon, other kids from school, eager to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens’ house, also arrive, making the place pretty crowded.

Right in the middle of the party, Edward drags Bella out to talk with Alice, who’s having a vision. And right then, hours late, Jacob also shows up, along with Quil and Embry (Bella had invited him on her last visit). He’s got a graduation present for her and an apology for the forced kiss. The gift is a small wooden wolf charm, one he carved himself. Bella loves it. However, Jacob notices that she’s stressed about something, something big, and asks what it is.

Before Bella can tell him, Alice pops in and tries to draw her away. Jacob insists that the wolves know what’s going on, which Alice concedes. She lays out what she saw in her most recent vision: the newborn army is going to leave Seattle and come to Forks to hunt Bella. They have strength in numbers; there are too many of them for the Cullens to protect all of Forks. Jacob immediately proposes an alliance between the Cullens and the wolves, which Alice enthusiastically accepts. Even though the wolves block her visions, she sees it as a minor inconvenience against the added numbers.

Bella thinks the wolves are going to get themselves killed (why, I don’t know, they’ve proven themselves capable) and spends the rest of the scene panicking while Jacob and Alice work out some rough strategy. The Cullens were planning a meeting anyway, so the wolves can join in on that. They lay out a location in the forest where the two groups can meet and the wolves can be shown how to fight newborn vampires in a few hours. In spite of Bella’s protests, Jacob’s happy as a clam when he leaves.

Clinginess Meter: 21

Oh, Celestia. The padding. That was fifteen pages. Most of the first half or so was just descriptions of the party; Jacob doesn’t appear until the second half. How can you say so little with so much? Maybe Meyer’s a politician.

I’m trying to think of something to say to make this post more worthwhile, but I just can’t. I’ve already talked about well-done slow pacing twice now. It might not be as clingy as New Moon, but holy crow, is Eclipse bloated with nothing at its worst. It’s almost twice as long as Twilight and doesn’t have near the amount of content needed to justify that.

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Comments ( 3 )
Author Interviewer

The only thing I can think of is diaper jokes, and no one needs those. Lookin' at you, MST3K. >.>

Oh, Celestia. The padding. That was fifteen pages.

Of course! Meyer wasn’t writing a book, she just wanted a new mattress!

I hope these end soon. I want to watch you but have no interest in bad teen romance novels, and this is always flooding my feed. :derpytongue2:

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