Retrograde - There has been a minor removal · 5:27pm Apr 20th, 2018
Hello, everypony,
So we've been rather surprised over the past couple of days. In this latest chapter, we officially introduced a new character into the story, but it would seem that she was not well-met. Our intention was to have this character in the background, and maybe give a plot a nudge or two (in other words, her role would be incredibly minor). But given the response that this character has received, we don't think it is feasible to continue having her in the story as is, and because of her incredibly small role and because of the specifics of her character, we decided that it was the easiest and best option to simply remove her from the story.
But as we do so, however, I want to clear up why the character was there in the first place. The character in question is actually from the following story:
This is, of course, a story of mine. I would dare say that it's my opus. In tossing around ideas for what we would do in Retrograde, we figured we might be able to have a small cameo of sorts for some of my readership and because it was also a thing that I wanted to do. It was the one thing I wanted out of all of this, actually. And I claim that how the character was presented here is consistent with what happens in the above story. I won't be saying how because, evidently, no one has actually read above story.
I don't expect people to (but, as an author, I do inevitably wish people do), and that was how I tried at least to approach having the reference in Retrograde; I wanted it to be something no one actually thought about, because having it be completely readible standalone is important to me. And me saying "Oh but this story X is also based on story Y" goes against that in my eyes.
So, tl;dr the character is Crystal has been removed from chapter 3 and will not appear in future chapters. But I reckon that no one is going to miss it.
My partner Onyx Archer has also said some things concerning this issue. You can find his response here: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/806952/retrograde-the-crystal-problem
For the record it didn’t really bother me at all that she was in it. Sure it was a little bit jarring at first but not really a big deal like everyone was making it out to be.
Personally I was waiting for the payoff before I attempted to judge the character.
Really? Worked up over a cameo? I mean people are entitled to their opinions but wow
She didn't exactly bother me, but I can see how people would have been confused about her; personally I actually was a little paranoid about her because she checked pretty much all the tropes for the Secret Shadowy Antagonist role. An unknown character who's inexplicably friends with the protagonist and a little smarter than you'd expect a supporting character to be.
I think removing her wasn't actually necessary, but an author's note at the end of the chapter she first appeared, noting that she is a cameo, would be. Just one sentence should already be enough. People like seeing cameos, but that's only if they know it's supposed one. A character who's a nod to another story is much easier to accept than one who's seemingly coming out of nowhere.
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The problem with her inclusion was that people were making enough of a fuss about her that I was getting incredibly frustrated having to say in the comments "ya'll are worrying too much about a cameo" because some people in the comments (that will remain nameless) wouldn't accept any kind of clarification.
I tried to keep as calm as possible, and I tried to convince RQK that all we had to do is add a line or two to clarify things. I'm not one to want to give up on an idea. I was getting frustrated, and RQK was disheartened by the response and how it was frustrating me, so he opted to remove her. When he says "we decided," it was ultimately his decision, because I told him my self that Crystal was his character, and by proxy, she was his responsibility. His wish to keep "Retrograde" totally separate from his other works is not something I personally agree with, but we're both rather stubborn about things, and he wouldn't budge on the issue.
I know it seems like I'm throwing him under the bus here, but the fact is that I respect his decision to remove Crystal, even though I told him how we could make her work. Apparently his vision of her inclusion would have been compromised, and regardless of my feelings on the subject, I can live with his choice, as it doesn't really affect what I write. I never wrote a single scene with Crystal involved, as I didn't want to potentially mess up Crystal's characterization.
As far as I'm concerned, there was a way to fix it without having to outright remove Crystal, but ultimately I left the choice up to him because Crystal is "his baby" and not mine.
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Further more, if you want some more insight into Crystal's role, had she not been removed, please refer to my blog post on the subject: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/806952/retrograde-the-crystal-problem
I think, and I am sort of taking a bit of a stab in the dark, that the issue was more how she was presented than her inclusion.
Crystal arrived/was presented in a manner like this:
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It was jarring. Suddenly there was a character dropped in who was treated like a character we should all know or at least be familiar with. After such a touching chapter, it was an unexpected inclusion that causes a bit of a mood whiplash. Which in turn annoys the readers.
I must admit, on first glance I thought that Sunset was going to meet Tempest. The loss of something very important is something they now have in common. Some fellow feeling and support would have been enjoyable to read and a Sunset who has forgotten her redemption and struggle to be accepted would benefit from a fellow unicorn who is working through the guilt of her misdeeds and accepting friendship into her life. I noticed a few others thought that Tempest was Crystal, again, finding out she isn't means aggravated readers/fans unhappy that there is an OC not a popular character.
I think if she had been more gradually introduced instead of dropped in and ushered over to participate with all the important minds (Like Moondancer and Starswirl) then it would have been a nice cameo for those familiar with her.
Of course, we writers love our OCs when we create them, and we are proud of them. It must have been a hard decision to pull her out. but you made it, I respect that.