Untitled · 1:39am Feb 7th, 2018
Never take anything you're told at face value, especially on the internet. You'll either get only splices of the actual story or something blown out of proportion. The damage has already been done and at least fifty bridges were burned in the process. No apologies in the world will make up for what happened, and it all came from a dangerous game of hearsay and seven million misunderstandings that went way too far. However, there is one last thing I must do.
The contest results will appear at midnight PST on February 10th. I promised everyone who entered they'd have a chance at winning some prizes, and I am going to do everything in my power to see that through to the end. I want all the authors who've entered to know their works are appreciated, and for the winners know their hard-work was worth the blood, sweat, and tears.
I know about the drama and everything therein. I will not talk about it any more under any circumstances, as I just want to move on with my life. Any DMs about the drama, whether they're positive or negative, will be ignored. The people who were involved have more important things on their plate, and while many of them want me dead, I wish them well. They're good people at heart, and I understand why they would stand up for their friends and do what they think is right. This isn't a plea for forgiveness, as given the mudslinging involved and conflicting stories about what's true, false, or in the middle, it would be insane to expect things to return to the status quo. This is just my way of trying to understand the other side and where they're coming from. Nothing more; nothing less. Everything I have told other people is what I honestly believed was true given what I knew at the time. How much of what people have been telling me on all sides is actually true will forever remain a mystery to me.
I will also be attending regular meetings for a therapy group that helps people with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. It's honestly something that should have happened years ago, and my hope is that focusing on real life activities and spending less time on the internet will get my life in the right direction. If you wish to contact me, DM me and I will give you an email, as my plans to completely abandon the site and delete this account will occur once the contest prizes are distributed. The same rules apply as before.
SAd to hear that you are letting them win, but that is your choice.
4791229
This was never about letting one side or the other win. Right now, I am focused on finding the truth and fixing my messed up life, which will involve leaving this site behind. While I still believe most of everything I have been told up to this point, the sheer number of people thinking I made it up or am lying made me wonder whether I was given faulty information. The fact I may have been tricked by a few stories with holes in them is what scares me most.
Take care of yourself, I know it's not much but I'm a person who's always around to talk to on different chat programs if you need someone to babble at
This whole thing sucks. No other way to describe it.
Now I kinda regret writing smut for the contest.
4791234
That's the most important thing of all. Right now, my mental health needs fixes after everything that has occurred today. This blog post is more to tie up loose ends and let people who've entered the contest know that I want their stories to be recognized and rewarded. I do not think anything will change from this blog post unless someone points at what's true or false with enough evidence. This "heat of the moment" aspect of drama and the many different accounts with their own differences (some of which were unique to each version) made this more potent than other incidents. It felt like the story people told me kept changing each day, and the moment I realized it was far too late to mitigate the damage.
4791237
My online life basically turned into a confusing, complex mystery novel where it's impossible to decipher fact from fiction. The scary part is how it may be impossible to determine which is which. That's why one of my hopes upon leaving the site is that everyone involved can focus on happier things from here.
As for the contest, you do not have to regret the story's content. What's most important is that you had fun writing for the prompt.
4791240
I know that feeling, and every time something changes your faith that someone is telling the truth dies a little. That's likely why i have nobody, trust issues are such a wwwoonnndderrffulll thing to have
4791246
This whole sordid affair has given me trust issues that will be hard to shake off. It's scary when something with so many different versions, regardless of the stance they take, poisons the well. There's a lesson in treading carefully online, clarifying for more details, and thinking of the consequences regardless of intent beneath this chaotic mess.
4791248
Give it time and you'll deal with the trust issues in time. If I can go from not trusting anyone and not wanting to interact with anyone outside my home to trying to stream, I think anyone can deal with it.
4791240
But since you're leaving the site, I wanna do something really sweet, or bittersweet, as like a farewell story. I already have an idea for it, but I don't know if I'll have time to finish it by the 10th on top of what I'm already working on.
I want to try, though, for you.
4791256
It will probably take me a while to rebuild a sense of trust with people. This experience has been traumatic enough for me to where I am deeply afraid of getting too close to other people. I do not know whether becoming too trustworthy with an individual will lead to a similar situation where former friends brandish their swords, tell me to rot in hell, and automatically think I am lying. It's why these past few hours have been the worst of my life.
4791258
You are welcome to write any story of your choosing, but I would advise against making it a tribute story. Becoming what may be the most hated user on the site and getting DMs that are one step below death threats show that my name is like arsenic right now. However, I will support in spirit everyone's writings. There is something beautiful about a story, after all.
4791269
With trust issues, loss of confidence, and suicidal thoughts, getting help is the best thing I can do right now. As I have mentioned before, my mental health is what's most important.
Hope you get better, man... Wishing you well, even if I admit I don't know half of what caused this.
4791272
well I'm just a idiot on the introwebs, that doesn't care about drama, and rather talk things out then go apeshit. If ya wants to add me somewhere just for talking let me know, if not then I understand, sometimes ya gotta take some me time to let the wounds heal.
4791283
It is one of those stories that may be impossible to explain. That explains my current trust issues, but also why I am taking action to improve my life. The second part is something I should have done a long time ago in hindsight, but that's the tragedy behind such situations.
4791285
Just hope you get feeling like your old self again, man.
4791269
I understand where you're coming from with this idea, but it'll be hard for me to resume "normal" activity on FiMFiction. However, you do make an interesting point when it comes to groups. Part of what began this series of problems stemmed from how so many groups attracted drama or discussions about them. It's another thing I wished I had realized sooner.
4791231
And I don't have feelings either way to what the people said about you and Chatralu, but I will miss you and your stories.
4791367
Understandable, but to respect the wishes of those involved, I would appreciate it if you did not mention the other person's name. That was a key part about why my side of the story was taken down, and I would rather not go into detail about any of this.
4791369
I was talking about the kid from Undertale.
4791371
None of this is a laughing matter. As my post says, it's a convoluted mess of conflicting stories that has almost ruined my life. Could you please replace the other person's name with a pronoun? My decision to go public with my side of the story without redacting names is part of why so many people hate me right now.
4791377
better? if not then delete it and I won't say anything.
*hugs* Take care, Mana. I'll miss you a lot. I know I apologized already, but here it comes again. Sorry for any trouble I caused to you. I hope your mental health and life gets better.
Based on what I've experienced of who you are, this is by far the healthiest and best decision I've seen you make in a long time. I sincerely hope that wherever you go from here, your life genuinely improves.
It was honestly good knowing you, Mana. I wish you all the best on the next road you walk down.
4791627
No need to apologize. As mentioned before, I will do everything in my power to improve my mental health.
4791639
In hindsight, this kind of decision was something I should have made a long time ago to fix my mental health. I guess reaching my absolute lowest point taught me a few important lessons about myself and the complexities life in general. While I may be gone from FiMFiction in the near future, I will support you and everyone on this website in spirit.