Changes to two old stories · 1:58am Jun 26th, 2017
I finally rewrote the final chapter of "The Magician and the Detective", taking into account Karen Joy Fowler's critique. (I changed the tea references in chapters 8 and 10 to lavender tea, to remove any doubt about the letter's origin.) I was never content with the pleading, telly contents of that letter. It isn't a plot change. It goes to the same place, but hopefully more dramatically. If you read it again, let me know what you think of the change.
Next up is to revise and post the final chapter of Moments. I thought it was finished--I thought it was finished 3 times, after chapters 1, 6, and 7, but Grand_Moff_Pony wrote an epilogue for horizon's "Never The Final Word", which I liked so much that I asked him if I could post it as the final chapter of the story instead. With, of course, some revision. 3 years and 3 more versions later, he may regret agreeing to that. It's an especially difficult chapter, because it needs to fit in about 2000 words to avoid feeling like a new movement, but it has a lot to set up in that space.
Not that this was my reason for its many changes, but I think that having 4 ending points baked into it makes the story structurally interesting. Ordinarily, teachers advise you to end each chapter with a cliffhanger, something needing resolution. But I think it also works to end a chapter with complete resolution of the story, because a complete, satisfying resolution makes the character want to read a sequel. That satisfaction can get a reader from one chapter to the next just as well as a cliffhanger can. It's just very hard to do most of the time.
And hopefully soon after that will be reports on the fimfiction survey results, which were greatly delayed by my foolish determination to verify by PM with all the 400 or so ponies who gave permission to use their usernames.
(many have looked, but few have commented)
Ok, I'll say it. I re-read the final chapter in The Magician and the Detective, and didn't really see anything different, except maybe the reason for Holmes burning the letter, which I found... a little off. Sherlock Holmes has never really struck me as the type of character who would determine his interpersonal relationships by "What will the grandchildren look like?" He's always seemed to be a creature of the mind rather than the body, and would be willing to risk all for the challenge of the conflict. Merely start a sentence with the phrase "Nobody could possibly..." in his presence, and be prepared to be proven incorrect.
Had Watson a slightly more cynical view on life and a better grasp on Holmes and his odd personality quirk, he would return late that evening with a ticket stub from a certain performance, the smallest scent of fine wine on his breath, and the lightest of lipstick stains on his cheek.
The chase is on....
Glad you did it, but I could never re-read that story, it hit me in the feels far too hard the first time.
Possible spoilers, read the story first!
4583733 As I understood it, Sherlock is literally too smart for his own good, on the interpersonal level. It's exactly because he's a creature of the mind that he is both attracted to Trixie (who has, for him, an astoundingly attractive level of intellect) and deems himself completely unworthy of her. His mention of genetics is extremely likely to not be the only justification for his decision at the end – even though it's equally likely to be one of his justifications. It is a symptom of his own terribly damaged sense of self-worth.
Interestingly, he doesn't seem to feel the same way about his friendship with Watson, who generally doesn't challenge Sherlock on an intellectual level (though morally and socially he does at least try). And perhaps that's because Watson's loyalty and forgiveness of Sherlock's faults makes him a life raft in an open sea of a depression-levels of self-worth.
This seems like an excellent way to lose a friend, and strikes me as something Watson is unlikely to do to a man he considers a close friend in any case.
Has The Magician and the Detective really been changed already? The chapter publish date didn't.
4589982
Because I edited the chapter rather than posting a new chapter, it didn't change the date.