Review #52 - Blood is Thicker, Sunset, The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser, For Want of a Dawn · 8:38pm Jan 31st, 2017
INFO: A new story by Mocha Star is out, find it by clicking on this text. If you have never heard of Mocha Star, I would recommend checking him out.
So, before we begin, I am going to say that these stories I am about to review have a LOT of gore. If you don't like gore, don't even bother opening this blog.
Another thing, the name of one is these is actually, "Blood is Thicker / The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser," but the author, for some reason not even known to him, put these together even though they come at different time periods of the series, therefore, I will be reviewing them separately and in the correct order.
Blood is Thicker by Ciroton
Sunset by Ciroton
The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser by Ciroton
For Want of a Dawn by Ciroton
Blood is Thicker by Ciroton
(Alternate Universe, Slice of Life)
Twilight Sparkle receives a letter out of the blue from her mother. She has left her the ages-old task of keeping their family tree updated, and hints to it being incomplete. Will she be able to discover this missing relative, or will she fail as her mother did?
Review
Twilight gets a package telling her to update the family tree. Twilight, during her research, discovers that Trixie is her sister. Trixie gets invited by Twilight to meet with her. Trixie refuses to believe it.
In terms of pacing, this is most definitely a prequel, so a beginning which ends in a cliffhanger. It has few errors within, and the ones it does have don't take the reader out of the story. It also seems quite planned out, which does indeed help it. The tags also fit quite well.
Score: 8.5/10 Recommendation: Highly Recommended if you want to read the rest, otherwise Not Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: I hate how the author did Ditsy Do/ Derpy's speech in this story.
Sunset by Ciroton
This is a sequel to Blood is Thicker
(Gore, Dark, Sad)
Some things in this world happen by chance. Others do not. Twilight Sparkle is about to learn a disturbing truth that will turn her world upside down.
Review
Twilight, upon having an accident at Sweet Apple Acres, goes looking for answers as to why she is still alive. Knowing Twilight, you can probably guess that she found something. That something, though, is the realization that she is a golem, created by Celestia. So, she goes to confront Celestia about it. A massive fight happens, and Twilight ends up with all of Celestia's power and Celestia on the brink of death. That is all I wish to spoil for this one.
The actual pacing on this is great, but the chapter length when combined with the content make it seem much longer than it actually is. It has few errors within, and the ones it does have do not take away from the story. And it seems very, very planned out. The tags fit so well, but it should have an "Alternate Universe" on there.
Score: 9/10 Recommendation: Highly Recommended if you are reading the series.
Personal Thoughts: This is actually the story that all the others are based upon. And, if I remember correctly, the first one I ever read on this site.
The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser
This is a sequel to Sunset
(Alternate Universe, Slice of Life)
Trixie assures you, no matter WHAT that infernal Twilight Sparkle says, she is NOT the Great and Powerful Trixie's sister, and that mare with her is NOT Trixie's mother! And most certainly of all, Trixie is not starving to death or down on her luck! She is the chosen protege of the greatest magician the world has ever know! There is no WAY that Trixie could ever be like that. None!
Review
After a failed show due to her magic leaving, Trixie gets very lost and winds up in Ponyville, where an unlucky turn of events puts her into Twilight's care. After many instances, Trixie is able to call Twilight her sister... so, yay.
The pacing on this one is pretty good, but again, the chapter feels a lot longer than they are. It averages at around 10 errors per thousand words, which I class as a couple errors. It also seems quite planned out, but it probably could have been better. But the tags fit well.
Score: 8/10 Recommendation: Recommended if you are reading the series.
Personal Thoughts: Alright, alright... I'll admit it... I cried a bit during Chapter 4 (could have been 3, but I'm pretty sure 4).
For Want of a Dawn by Ciroton
This is a sequel to Sunset
(Gore, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Dark)
Welcome to the new Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. See your friends at each other's throats? You have to choose between them now, to stop the heartache of war with decisive victory. For the nation lies bleeding, its harmony shattered into a million pieces. Black and white and right and wrong have blurred together. You must choose wisely, or all shall die.
{Comment: Though this may sound like a Second Person intro, it isn't}
Review
This story is over 200k words... I'm gonna give you the condensed version: Twilight goes with Luna to retrieve an artifact from the Castle of the Two Sisters, but she is an idiot and touches it. It transports her to an alternate universe, where an evil queen is ruling and everyone is at war with one another. As it turns out, this is the universe where Twilight actually did completely take over Equestria, and therefore Twilight must defeat herself to save them all.
{Comment: The story actually alludes to the fact of Twilight being the Queen, but it does so in the way where you find out yourself}
The pacing on this one is great, but don't even try to read it all in one day, as it has the problem of feeling longer than it is. It has around 8.5 errors to every thousand words, so few errors, none that take away from the story too. It also seems extremely planned out, even to the minute details. And the tags fit quite well.
Score: 9.5/10 Recommendation: Very Highly Recommended if you have read the series.
Personal Thoughts: I tried reading this in one day, my brain was tired after that ordeal.
First off, thank you for reading and I am glad that you enjoyed my work so far! =D Nothing is perfect though, and the average of around 10 errors per thousand words makes the perfectionist in me scream bloody murder. Secondly, thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts on these stories. ^^ I know the subject matter I tend to (slightly dark and gritty, but always with a bit of hope sprinkled in) is not for everyone, and I try to think of more light-heated stories, but I just haven't had a lot of time to write them in place of what I have done so far. =/
I must, however, ask a simple question: What is it about my characterization of
that you find so unappealing? I have no plans on changing it, since I like to think of her as clumsy and impaired, but intellectually sound. I am just curious in the perspective of others.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read and review my work! I always strive to improve and like to read constructive criticism!
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Mostly just how Derpy cannot speak properly, as it seems to take away from the intellectual mare I have always believed her to be. That, and I have also always believed she could speak normally.
I did, however, put it under personal thoughts for a reason. That reason being that this particular area of her personality comes down to personal preference, and I did not want it to affect the final score.