Nothing Much, Just Whining

I SWEAR I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR PROMISING MYSELF THAT I'D WRITE MORE OF THE NEXT BBT CHAPTER BUT THEN GETTING DISTRACTED WITH WHATEVER ELSE AND THEN WASTING ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SINGLE WORD WRITTEN DOWN. Seriously, even when I have a good idea what I want in the chapter, or heck, maybe even actual notes scribbled in a notebook nearby, my motivation just ends up evaporating somehow. Even when I have nothing to do or no one's talking to me I procrastinate my own freakin' story. And I'm extra mad about it because I don't have the excuse of being sick this time (I'm chipper, energetic, eating just fine, and the pain I do have is annoying instead of making me cry like a baby).

So, basically, normal writers' problem. Pbbbt.

Was it the fact that I went without writing for so long that's messing me up? Am I just tired from work (even though I technically don't have very many hours)? Am I subconsciously discouraged from the feedback on BBT coming less and less? Am I already tired of the current arc and just want to get to the next one already? Or am I just doubting myself as a writer?

Maybe I'm just worried about whether or not I write too much filler in BBT, though I try my best to have any scene I write to at least have some kind of purpose, whether in the current episode I'm in or for the overarching story. Maybe I'm just worried about pulling some ideas off because sometimes I feel like whatever research I do doesn't cut it. Maybe I'm just hesitant about other ideas because I often read writing advice forums (be it here or on some other site), and I'm worried that I might end up being that writer that does the thing you absolutely should not do or doesn't do the thing you should do.

Maybe I'm worried that some of the darker elements of BBT are overplayed and edgy, especially since one of the main characters is Cheese Sandwich and he shouldn't be in dumb edgy plots anyway because he's Weird Al Pony. Am I abusing him too much? What if someone ends up reading too deeply into the whole ordeal with his stolen memories? What if someone reads too much into everything and comes up with unfortunate implications about every little detail and... and...

.....

Okay... maybe I'm just overreacting to things that haven't happened. But seriously, I need to spur my motivation; don't want the Sandwiches' summer vacation to remain unfinished--I didn't even get to the craziest part!

Still, I do wonder what kind of conclusions that folks draw when reading my stories.

Anyway, I do poke around forums from time to time. I stumbled onto an old thread in The Writer's Group, and boy, oh, boy, can we just all be thankful that I didn't ever write my first idea for a pony fic? Yeah, while The Rock Farmer's Daughters was the first pony fic I've written, this schlock was my first idea, back in my first year of college:

A stupid thing about this cult who is trying to summon this evil dragon-god thing and end up getting one of the Mane Six pregnant with his magical essence so we have a half-pony half-dragon thing going to be used to summon said dragon-god.

...yeah, be thankful I didn't write that when I did. I probably would've butchered it.

Anyway, just happy to get my writing frustrations off my chest.

Comments

[Pinkie Made Of Shadows]

Most relatable thing I've seen all day. xD