• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2014
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A goofy little miss that's here to write and draw to her heart's content. Her imagination doesn't know when to shut off.

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Venting · 5:52pm March 16th

Been dealing with a lot of stress and heartache the past couple of weeks.

School and work are kicking my butt, I don't feel like I'm good enough for my church calling and yet they haven't released me for whatever reason, it doesn't feel like I have an entire day to myself anymore because I even have things scheduled on my day off (and even then it's guinea pig cage cleaning day), I've been looking for a new job and it's driving me bonkers, I've been feeling rejected by fans of my other interests because I don't know, I thought we were cool they even liked my ideas for an AU (a couple of them even blocked me, and now I'm a little paranoid about getting blocked by more), stupid politics are stupid and I wish they'd stop and let me live my life, and on top of all that...

My grandma passed away. And now I'm just crumbling.

We all knew it was coming, she was dealing with the aftermath of a stroke and had gone downhill last week, but it still hurts. Am I going to have a breakdown come the next haircut, since my Grandma was a beautician and did everyone's hair? How am I going to feel about Smarties and saltine crackers, given those were the go-to snacks at her house? I wish I could hear her stories about growing up in the Great Depression and World War II again, I remember she helped me with a report for school because of that. She always encouraged me to keep drawing and get those stories out of my head, and now I wish I had written down a story just for her to read. She also loved my guinea pigs, and I'll never forget her stroking Meadow's fluffy fur a few weeks ago.

I am glad that she's reunited with Grandpa and that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, but man, I wish I could have a hug from her right now.

I always tell myself that trials are temporary and that I can get through this. But man... this one's a toughie.

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Comments ( 2 )

My sincerest condolences. Here's hoping things let up sooner rather than later. And if you haven't already, it may do you some good to talk about this with someone in real life. Apologies if I'm telling you what you already know.

I lost my own grandmother a few months ago, I know it still stings, you have my condolences as well.

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