Okay

Thanks to those who gave condolences on my last blog post.

Grandma's funeral was on Saturday, and I'm surprised I made it through without crying. Well, I teared up a little bit, but I didn't do any full-on sobbing like I did last Tuesday. Which, yeah, I did have a bunch of other stuff piling on me, but still I do miss Grandma. I guess it might be because I've already let a lot of emotions out, but also because she was 92 and had a stroke, we all knew it was coming and we're sort of relieved that her suffering is over, and happy that she gets to be with her husband again, and content with knowing that her passing was at her home with two of her daughters (one of whom was my mom) present. It's in contrast to my uncle in 2020, who was in his fifties, was healthy, and then an accident suddenly takes him.

It was nice hearing stories from my cousins, siblings, and family friends about Grandma. Our parents would have us at her house when they were both at work, and she made sure we were safe, fed, and entertained. She was a curious woman who liked to learn new things up to the very end. She always did take notice of when I was restless and pacing around her house, knowing that it meant I had a story in my head and she'd always tell me that she'd like to see that story, and that I should write it down (I was always too embarrassed to tell her that it was usually fan fiction stuff for my current fixation). And she was always happy to see my artwork, especially the rare chance she got to see what I do with digital art. And she was everyone's go-to for haircuts until last year, including me, who keeps her hair perpetually short because it's less trouble and it's cute on me (and a haircut was always a good excuse to visit her and make sure she's not lonely. And she was a talented seamstress who made and/or fixed wedding dresses for friends and family. And she always had Smarties on hand, and she made the best fudge and we're keeping that recipe alive.

I'm also happy that my other grandparents attended the funeral (and even a couple aunts and uncles from that side of my family). I better appreciate them more while they're still around.

Anyway, I'm gonna miss her. It's gonna be weird not going to Grandma's house anymore.