• Member Since 30th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen April 20th

Pickleless


A man is driving home, thinking about beating his wife. Along the way, he passes a turtle. I am that turtle.

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Jan
7th
2017

Facts · 2:44am Jan 7th, 2017

It only takes Pickleless' left arm, separate from his body, to change a light bulb.

Pickleless owns a total of 2 dollars on him most of the time.

Between the ages 14 to 17 Pickleless was just gone.

As in not there.

Where was this human being back then?

One time he went bowling.

Pickleless secretly re-classed from a level 15 Cleric to a level -π Bard.

Contrary to popular belief, Pickleless is not a fruit.

Pickleless is very bad at getting back to people.

Pickleless doesn't sleep.

Pickleless has people who wake him at 3 AM to talk about Congress and Pokemon.

Pickleless doesn't have a lock on his door.

Pickleless wishes he could sleep.

Pickleless prides himself on being a benevolent individual!

Deep down, I just want to emotionally and physically break a person.

Pickleless owns a cat~

On that note, Pickleless is a cat person!

Dogs.

Pickleless had a dog named Lilly who was a saint~!

She's dead~!

Report Pickleless · 482 views · #O #H #W #O #W!
Comments ( 13 )

One time he went bowling.

But did you win the World Cup.

One question. If you do not sleep then how do people wake you at 3 am?
Also how is being a bard? I do not have the aptitude for bardening.
Oh I guess that is two questions, whatever.

Oh Jesus, are you okay? That first line seems to be implying you lost an arm...

Even if I'm misinterpreting things here, I hope you're okay or, if you're not, you have my sympathies and prayers...

Who are you and what have you done to Pickleless? Begone alternate personality leave our author alone.

4372300
Oh I'm fine, my arm is right where it should be, thank you for asking though~
4372324
When China set out to form trade connections with it's neighbors, Africa didn't have anything China cared for. In order to get China's goods, Africa traded them Giraffes, claiming them to be an Eastern Kirin. China thought Giraffes were awesome, so all the rich people had them. A couple hundreads year later, give or take a couple hundred, America obtained German Nazi science, Terra felt hopeless, because she was right. The Returners did want her for the same reasons as the Empire. The fact they totally accepted Cid's crazy German Esper Science was a sign. After the world ended, the only one who was true to themselves and still had motivation was Locke, and Canada. Canada had a habit of being very polite and extremely scary on the battlefield. Their plan was to walk over to the enemy's side, mug them of their guns, and start shooting. Locke was very proud. After bringing back his dead girlfriend and then watching her die because he FUCKED up, he stopped obsessing over his already dead girlfriend, and starting obsessing over Celes. Celes wanted to kill a god, and Locke was a insane terrorist, so it worked out well. Not really wanting to claim they hired terrorists, America christened the group ISIS as Freedom Fighters. Sonic the Hedgehog is a Freedom Fighter, who-

Great... now there's red text. And I didn't even get to know what the purple text was about! Stop gaining alternate personalities! Begone, voices!



Legit actual concern for your mental health. How far will your dark humor take you?

4372393

Awww, I thought that it was going to be the Eva's in Japan that where going to screw us.

Pickleless is very bad at getting back to people.

That explains a lot. Was gonna PM you on that again.

Pickleless owns a cat~

Is the cat still on fire?

4372926
I'VE SEEN IT I'M SORRY- turns out my cat is fireproof, which explains a lot.

4372966
Does it have dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?

4373171 Probavly dreams of cat treats, I dunno. It's not like anyone is going out of their way to set him on fire.

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