Review #4 - Crusader's Quest in Cloudsdale, Colt Like Behavior, Equestrian Expedition, Biting Buddies, Hexirit's Curse, Wrath of Rarity, The Isolated Incident, Birthday Bro · 3:41pm Nov 28th, 2016
The reason that I am reviewing so many by the same author this time is because starting with “Crusader’s Quest in Cloudsdale,” they are all sequels in the order that I have listed them.
So, here they are:
Crusader’s Quest in Cloudsdale by BoredWriter
Colt Like Behavior by BoredWriter
Equestrian Expedition by BoredWriter
Biting Buddies by BoredWriter
Hexirit’s Curse by BoredWriter
Wrath of Rarity by BoredWriter
The Isolated Incident by BoredWriter
Birthday Bro by BoredWriter
Crusader’s Quest in Cloudsdale by Bored Writer
(Drama, Mystery, Random, Slice of Life, Thriller, Tragedy)
To relate to Starlight, Rainbow Dash tells the story of how her cousin stopped playing with her after receiving a Cutie-Mark with the opposite purpose to her own: A Stormcloud. The CMCs decide to go on a mission in Cloudsdale to find Rainbow's cousin and help her with her cutie mark. However, when Starlight offers to transfigure all the CMCs into Pegasi with grown wings to help them with their mission, Scootaloo misuses them.
Reason for review: I found it, and read it.
Review
Rainbow Dash tells Starlight of her cousin, Cirrus Storm, and how she stopped being friends after her cutiemark came. The CMCs overhear her and decide to help Cirrus out with her cutiemark problems. They go to cloudsdale with magical pegasus wings, they get distracted, and almost die. They go back with a normal cloud-walking spell on, get Cirrus to talk with Starlight who removes the mark, the mark comes back and they get her to accept it.
This story does feel a little bit longer than it should; the chapters are all short, but that means there a lot of chapters, which gives it it’s long feeling. There are not many noticeable errors in the text. And this story feels almost as planned out as an episode. Do not be fooled by the “Thriller” and “Tragedy” tags, though, it doesn’t seem to have much for them.
Score: 8/10 Recommendation: Worth reading.
Personal Thoughts: It is a very good story, and it is nice that it feels like an actual episode of MLP.
Colt Like Behavior by Bored Writer
(Comedy, Drama, Random, Slice of Life)
This is a sequel to Crusader’s Quest in Cloudsdale
A friend of family invites Sweetie Belle but not Rarity, under the reason they believe she would not like their party. Rarity attends anyways and finds out it's full of stallions with very non-feminine interests.
Reason for review: It is a sequel to Crusader’s Quest in Cloudsdale.
Review
Well, pretty much the description… Sweetie Belle and Rarity go to a party, Rarity hates it, Rarity ends up liking it after all.
There is a slight lack of pacing in this story, it feels as if the middle goes on too long, which makes the end boring when you finally reach it. There are not really any noticeable errors in the text. But this story seems to have the basic plot planned out, and the rest made up as they went along for filler. It deserves every tag it is given.
Score: 7/10 Recommendation: Read it only if you are planning to read all of them.
Personal Thoughts: This story did not grab me as much as the previous one.
Equestrian Expedition by Bored Writer
(Drama, Random, Slice of Life)
This is a sequel to Colt Like Behavior
After becoming the new ruler of the Changeling Kingdom, Thorax offers to give a tour of the surrounding region to Celestia. She allows all of Twilight's friends to join this expedition, but when Maud takes parts of Chrysalis's throne and disables the tours magic, some ponies break off from the group.
Reason for review: It is a sequel to Colt Like Behavior
Review
The ponies go on a tour of the Changeling Kingdom, and Maud takes a piece of Chrysalis’ throne which disables the tours magic. Discord and a few others break off from the main group. One group teaches Cirrus Storm to like nature, and the other teaches Sunburst about friends.
The story feels a little long for only 3,000 words, which is kinda annoying. BoredWriter is pretty good at having very few errors in stories, this one included. It feels as though it was written with the end in sight, and the writer just had to make a story getting there, which has it seeming “weak.” Anyway, it deserves all of it’s tags.
Score: 7/10 Recommendation: Read it only if you plan to read the entire series.
Personal Thoughts: I think that this story could have been more. If you don’t want to read it, it is not important to the series.
Biting Buddies by BoredWriter
(Adventure, Mystery, Sad, Thriller)
This is a sequel to Equestrian Expedition
On Nightmare Night, Spike befriends a Rot Wolf named Dark Bark who is escaping to Equestria due to the conflict in his homeland. When Twilight researches such wolves, she discovers they caused war in Equestria during Discord’s ruling and were banished for using dark magic and consuming all disposable matter. After reviewing Dark Bark's behavior the Mane 6 doubt such a friendship is even possible.
Reason for review: It is a sequel to Equestrian Expedition.
Review
Spike befriends a Rot Wolf named Dark Bark, and Twilight discovers they caused war in Equestria during Discord’s rule and were banished. The Mane 6 want to cast Dark Bark out of Equestria again, but Spike steps up to help him. They end up letting him stay because he is friendly.
This story has very good pacing, which makes it that much better. And as usual, there are very few errors in the text. It does not seem thrown together like Equestrian Expedition does. I can not decide if these tags are incorrect, but if they are then the correct ones don’t exist.
Score: 8.5/10 Recommendation: Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: This is a great story, and you need to read it for the series.
Hexirit's Curse by BoredWriter
(Comedy, Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Tragedy)
This is a sequel to Biting Buddies
After research into Rot Wolves, Twilight discovers Cadence was cursed by the Rot Wolf Hexirit many years ago and it has taken effect on Flurry Heart. When the curse is removed, it reverts Flurry Heart into a regular unicorn. Twilight tries to turn her back into an alicorn before her brother finds out.
Review
Twilight finds out that Cadence was cursed by a Rot Wolf so Flurry Heart would be an alicorn. When the curse is removed Flurry is a regular unicorn. Twilight tries to turn her back into an alicorn before Shining Armor finds out, but she is afraid to perform the spell.
This story has an odd sense of pacing, making it seem shorter than it is; though it is a good story nonetheless. There are again, very few errors in this story, which is always nice. The story seems very planned out and everything is where it should be when it should be. Also, all of it’s tags seem to match it.
Score: 9/10 Recommendation: Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: This one only makes sense if you read Biting Buddies, and is very important to the series.
Wrath of Rarity by BoredWriter
(Comedy, Drama, Random, Romance, Slice of Life)
This is a sequel to Hexirit’s Curse.
Upon hearing an unknown pony re-sold a gift they received, Rarity decides to punish them without knowing who it is, only for it to bite her in the back later.
Review
Rarity hears that a gift is being re-sold, so she goes to punish them for it. Turns out it was just going back to her original owner and she caused said owner to have two heads. Rarity then has to cure the owner to keep her out of the zoo.
I felt as though this story is too long for it’s plot due to it’s pacing, which really hurts it’s score. Though there are not really any notable errors in it, which is usual for BoredWriter. It does, however, seems to be planned out. The story does deserve all it’s tags, except maybe for the “Romance” one, as there is very little of that.
Score: 6/10 Recommendation: Not recommended.
Personal Thoughts: Personally, I hated this one, though I’m not sure why… anyway, this is not necessary for the series.
The Isolated Incident by BoredWriter
(Drama, Mystery, Random, Sci-Fi, Thriller)
This is a sequel to Wrath of Rarity
Rainbow Dash receives a story from Daring Do that was scrapped because she could never find the Tempest Topaz after another pony took it before her. She and Twilight decide to join her on an adventure to find the gem, only to uncover a secret that hits too close to home.
Review
Rainbow receives the book from Daring Do, notices it has no ending, so she sets out to find the Tempest Topaz. Rainbow Dash discovers that the pony who took it before Daring did was actually her pegasus cousin, Cirrus Storm, who used it and changeling magic to get into magic school. Rainbow Dash convinces Cirrus to not be evil.
This story has very good pacing, which really makes it a nice read. As per the usual of BoredWriter, there are very few errors in the text. This seems to have been very planned out, which gives it that extra likeability. And all of it’s tags seem to fit, which is rather nice.
Score: 9/10 Recommendation: Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: This story is one of the better ones in the series, but you need to read the previous ones for it to make sense. This one is also very important to the series.
Birthday Bro by BoredWriter
(Comedy, Drama, Random, Slice of Life)
This is a sequel to The Isolated Incident
After attending Zephyr's birthday party, Pinkie tries to fix Zephyrs narcissistic personality with the help of Starlight.
Review
Pinkie Pie uses magic to turn into Twilight to tell Starlight to fix Zephyr’s personality. So Starlight does with the help of Trixie.
This story is a little bit short for it’s content, which makes the pacing seem rushed. There are few errors in the text, which makes it that much better of a story. However, it does not seem planned out as a whole, it seems to be planned out in segments that were written out separately for each other. All of it’s tags fit it, though.
Score: 9/10 Recommendation: Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: Man that was confusing… all that changeling magic. Anyway, very good story and the current end of the series. Should BoredWriter continue with it, I expect this to be a very important part. Also, hahahaha.
These ratings are each about 2 higher than I expected. When I write stories for my literature professor I tend to get very low marks, but I've always enjoyed story writing so I came here to do so anyways.
Some comments/plans for my stories.
-The character Cirrus was the first OC I ever made. I felt like MLP was missing a high-tech character.
-I think a major flaw I have in a lot of my stories is too much filler. My latest story (Birthday Bro) was significantly more popular, but shorter due to the lack of filler. As of result, I'll use less filler in my future stories.
-I'm planning on making Hexirit a re-occurring villain in my series, where he makes several small attempts at intruding Equestria but Twilight and friends thwart his plans. After around 25 stories (typical MLP season) I will put a season finale, a longer story where he succeeds in taking over Equestria (...or does he?)
-Wrath of Rarity I regret, as I tried too hard to make it correlate to Hexirit's curse. I knew Romance isn't something heavily focused on in MLP so I made it a utter joke. I won't use the tag next time.
I currently have two incomplete stories that I'm debating which should come after Birthday Bro. Any opinions?
Princess Problems: When Twilight encounters Hexirit, she becomes hesitant to tell Celestia how she dealt with him.
You Wouldn't Mare: Unlike my other stories, this one is satire. The Cutie-Map sends Pinkie Pie and Applejack to Baltimare, where strange laws (Social Justice) are put in place. Applejack questions the honesty of the pony making these laws.
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That is something that I noticed in a few of them.
Seems like an interesting plan.
I think that "You Wouldn't Mare" would be a better one to come out first, then "Princess Problems" after it.