Birthday Bios: Cortland · 3:11pm Oct 28th, 2016
Hey, look whose turn it is! It’s our old friend Cortland!
Anybody remember a long time ago when a good majority of the readers of The Rock Farmer’s Daughters were quite angry with this guy? Well, little did any of us (including me) know, I was going to introduce ponies like the bandit Roanie, the power-mad sorcerer Kazam, certified spoiled brat Crème Brulee, narcisstic douchenozzle Windswept Goldenmane, and troubled warlock of olden time, Wayer Rune… yeah, I think they kind of beat him in the villain department.
Call me crazy, but I’m thinking that in the Main ‘Verse (can’t do RFD ‘verse for obvious reasons), he could be sort of an anti-hero if I decided to use him in a story. Heck, I do have a couple ideas.
Anyway…
When Cortland was born, his parents Haralson and Blossom had just started their orchard in Nickerlite. The town was mainly a mining/rock farming town, and the apple orchard was the first farm that grew food within the little town (most food was either imported or grown in small gardens before then). Cortland got to grow up along with the expanding orchard, and spent years learning much about growing apples like the rest of his family. He also watched as many changes came to town within a short time when he was small, like more farms popping up and bringing more variety of home-grown foods.
He often met the new neighbors, as his mother often visited and chatted with them. He liked visiting Mr. Jasper Horseshoe best, as that guy would tell him about the adventures he had before he settled down and started a family. Despite taking to picking on Jasper’s sensitive son Bluejinx when the little unicorn was old enough to talk, he still respected the former adventurer. He was sad when he learned of Jasper’s death, and that his wife and son had moved away.
He was an energetic colt, and was constantly trying to prove that he was a tough pony. He had seen plenty of riffraff roll into town and harass plenty of ponies, and since Nickerlite’s law was lousily handled the majority of the time, the townsfolk usually had to fight the thugs off. He always envisioned himself as some sort of big hero who would scare all the bad ponies away with his sheer strength and size when he was an adult, lauded by all his neighbors.
His father told him that to be big and strong, he needed to eat his vegetables and do his chores. Needless to say, Cortland often wished that he didn’t have to do that to become big and strong. Sometimes he’d even hide out in his little treehouse to avoid spinach.
A little problem that this colt had was that he tried to prove his toughness the wrong way. It would range from trying to remove beehives from any of the trees himself (you can guess how that ended) to picking on some of the other foals in town. Aside from poking fun at Bluejinx for his shyness prior to that unicorn moving away, he often made fun of some classmates for being weird or weak. He even tended to get into fights.
Typical targets were the little Pie twins around his age, Pinkamena and Marble, and he often had to be shooed away by their big sisters Limestone and Maud. In retaliation, he often talked smack about them behind their backs (never mind the time the Pies helped them with a parasprite invasion that one time). And of course, when it came to cousins, he didn’t get along with very many of them—he got into fights with Applejack, annoyed by Braeburn, etc.
Whenever he was caught picking on somepony, he was typically made to work on the compost pile. It was disgusting, but he was working on it often enough that he was used to the smell and could finish that chore quickly. He was unfortunate enough to have that chore represented with his cutie mark, and immediately his schoolmates assumed that it was because he was a bad apple. Talking about it led to fights, fights led to the compost pile, and the compost pile led him to resent his cutie mark even more. Even worse, whenever that pink Pie girl visited town, she always tried to cheer him up--only she was really, really annoying.
He likes to tell himself that he made up for that embarrassment with growing into handsomeness when he hit adolescence. His awkward stage was short-lived and he quickly became a muscled hunk that made the fillies in town swoon. He was well aware of this, and often took pride in it by way of showing some female friends of his how applebucking is done, competing in any rodeos, or scaring off pathetic thugs that stumbled into town. Anything to distract them from his awful cutie mark.
His mother nearly died when giving birth to his younger siblings Stayman and Idared, so he and his father took care of them while she recovered from the ordeal. As much as he loves his siblings deep down, he kind of resents getting puked on all the time and having to keep them out of trouble. Stayman was especially mischievous, which often ended up with Cortland getting hit by some stray apple or lassoed on the leg.
He and his siblings sometimes ran errands in town, sometimes visiting the Pies way out beyond the hills to deliver them apples. While the twins enjoyed the visits and wanted to learn about rock farming, Cortland often just wanted to leave as soon as possible. As much as he liked strong mares and a challenge (his life was so simple it was getting boring), the Pie Sisters were just all too weird for his taste. Not to mention, he never really cared for gray colors, and the only brightly colored one (who lived in Ponyville since she was ten thankfully) was just annoying.
As much as he likes shooing away the gangs that come to town, he does not want to meet Roanie. He’s very well aware that she’s one of the nastiest and strongest bandits in Equestria’s history, and deep down, he worries that he’s not strong enough to take on that mare. He was even very disappointed to learn that the once amazing Jasper Horseshoe was a part of that gang once. He resents the Pies for their unmatched strength, because he has a feeling that they could defeat her gang easily (and they eventually did fight the gang—though the battle was ultimately won by Cheese Sandwich and his party tank; he was only involved because his brother was in danger).
When Jasper’s son Bluejinx returned to Nickerlite as an adult, going to work for his aunt Purple Prose, Cortland did not hesitate to tell Blue about his father’s checkered past. Cortland learned the hard way that it’s not a wise idea to anger a unicorn, especially one that’s a skilled telekinetic. Still, they have an odd frenemy relationship.
Cortland wants to find a mare, but he doesn’t find many of the fillies in town to be interesting or challenging enough. And any of the Pie sisters are out of the question, since he’s sure they secretly want to kill him. He’s only ever flirted with random mares when he competes in any rodeos outside of town, but they never developed beyond just compliments.
He still likes the idea of being a hero that solves Nickerlite’s frequent gang problem, but he doesn’t get much opportunity to do anything extraordinary. So, he could be rather grumpy and bored about his life, and just works his day-to-day apple farming life. He’ll sometimes be caught babysitting his little siblings. Of course, he still doesn’t like to talk about his cutie mark—he’ll do anything else to distract others from it and making assumptions about him.
In his alone time, he’ll typically be hanging out in his old treehouse or sitting in a branch, munching on an apples and staring at the horizon. He finds the sunset beautiful.
Since the fic he debuted in was tagged "Alternate Universe", is it safe to assume Cortland didn't get turned to pulp by a train?
If so, where is he now? It sounds like he's kind of in a rut
nice image
Cortland's going to keep going nowhere fast until he learns to give a little, both in terms of emotional contribution and relenting. Rejecting his innermost self isn't helping him either. A certain younger cousin of his and her friends might have a client in Nickerlite...
4274932
Well, he never found a mare that aligns with his tastes--well, before he can acknowledge his flaws and work on them before they could go out of control when pursuing a relationship. So, he doesn't get to do all that crap his RFD counterpart did--harassing Pinkamena, sabotaging Cheese's mail, kidnapping Igneous, and lighting a house all three of them were in on fire--that led up to his end.
Yeah, he's alive and in a rut. Maybe I could give this Cortland character development before I stick him in a relationship.
Looks like he'd like to be the Sheriff of Nickerlite. Of course, that kind of power might go to his head...