Letters - VII

I keep on dying again.
Veins collapse, opening like the
Small fists of sleeping
Children.
Memory of old tombs,
Rotting flesh and worms do
Not convince me against
The challenge. The years
And cold defeat live deep in
Lines along my face.
They dull my eyes, yet
I keep on dying,
Because I love to live.

By Maya Angelou

Dear Princess Luna,

How dense of me! That I'd bring up time and totally forget that you're immortal! Geez, it must be this new sociology research paper Twilight has me doing. She feels my curriculum would be strengthened by some hard science, given my technical skills. I haven't had the heart to tell her that I've needed Sunburst's help. Not that sociology is his expertise, but he sure knows his way around a library! I wish this "egghead stuff" (as Rainbow Dash would call it) came as easily as magic did to me.

Speaking of Sunburst... I did talk to him. Thanks to you I found the words. He was very understanding and apologetic. He said he hadn't meant to dig up painful memories for me. He wants to make it up to me, he said. I told him the help with the research paper was enough, but he insisted he do something more meaningful. When I asked what he meant he kind of stammered and said he'd get back to me on that. That stallion is so eccentric! But it makes me feel better to be honest. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one who sweats the details.

You know what the biggest challenge is in my new life? Not micro-managing. It can feel like I'm so messed up sometimes. I nitpick my actions. Fret over how others will respond. The lack of control is frightening. I was always so afraid. I still am. In the past, that fear led to anger and-- well... I fear my fear, I guess? What's so screwed up is that, for all my attempts at self-analysis, I still do things without even realizing they aren't okay. Somepony always has to point it out to me. Like this last weekend? I cast a spell on all of Twilight's friends to follow my every command after she tasked me with doing friendship assignments with them. Sounds like a big step backward, right? All that work to do some lessons "efficiently" to impress Twilight was just me being afraid of failure. I missed the point of the lessons entirely...

But they forgave me. I apologized and they forgave me! And somehow, Twilight said I succeeded at all my lessons.

Though, apparently I barely passed Rainbow's "chillaxing" lesson.

It's true that I feel self conscious of how much I still need to learn and change about myself... But I also think my life must be blessed when I have such great friends to accept me, even when I make big mistakes. Friendship is such a wonderous power.

If you'll forgive my boldness, but Princess, do you have anyponies you call close friends? Because I just want you to know, after the kindness and wisdom you've shared with me, you can definitely count on me as one.

Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer

Comments

[Cynewulf]

I've always disliked Angelou and I'm not even entirely sure why.

Glad to see another letter!

[Nines]

4253424

I always thought that Maya was a bit... Theatrical? Pretentious? Stiff? She never felt authentic in front of a camera to me. Everything felt so calculated and practiced. BUT, I always did enjoy her poetry.