Rewrite · 6:23pm Aug 30th, 2016
Hey guys,
So first off, I want to apologize to my readers who are fans of Fluttershy. This is something that has been on my mind for such a long time. Her story in my "Erotica Girls" series is not only the shortest, but by far the most out of character. I tried my best to give her a proper story. But I failed miserably. And for that, I'm truly sorry. 
With that said, I've decided that a rewrite is not only justified, but absolutely needed. Especially considering that it's almost a year old. But I wanted to hear from you guys first before doing anything. Do you guys think I should take Training Session down and write a completely new story in its place? Or should I just stick with the same story idea, only made better?
I'll be looking forward to seeing your response.
- Harms Way
Whatever you feel would be better man. If re-writing the story with the same idea is easier you should probably go for that; but remember: whatever you feel is best. In the end you are the author.
I agree that having her story as is isn't really in character for her. Honestly, 'archery practice' doesn't seem the right setup - at least, as the only setup - for such things.
So, I'd suggest either a new story or massive fleshing out of this one.
Depends on what other kind of settings you can think of because I honestly don't mind the "archery practice" setting. But yeah, maybe make Fluttershy less seductive like Adagio and more scared and extremely nervous but calms down progressively.
Whatever you feel HarmsWay...If you feel it should be rewritten then "Go for It!"
....Overall the Erotica Girls series is one of my favorites series to read here.
I don't know. What ever you feel is best, but I think leaving the story, but making another one might work
It wasn't bad. But if you want to, it's your decision. Mate, we all make mistakes. We just have to learn from them.
Well, you already know my opinion--Training Session is the one that "broke" my interest in reading the rest of the Erotica Girls stories. It's far from the only one that needs to be revisited and fixed, mind, but it's definitely the one with the most issues.
I would advocate a complete ground-up rewrite for that one, with a completely different scenario. The archery practice then sex reward thing doesn't work on any level.
Incidentally, I'd be happy to go back and give the rest of the Erotica Girls series a chance if you tackle some of the criticisms I have on the whole thing--I love the idea behind it, but the execution is rather lacking. Rewriting Training Session is definitely a good start.
Hmm, well I'd have to say that, looking back on it, rewriting the story would be your best bet. Perhaps making it more natural would be in your best interest? I personally liked the story, even if some things seemed a touch out of place, but if that's what you feel needs to be done, then I'm for that.
It's fine dude. It's OK.
Im gonna be honest, it needs a rewrite. I always felt that this was the weakest in the series from the moment i first read it. Main issue being Flutters acting like a different person. Regarding the setup, the whole 'archery practice' itself was pretty neet, it kind of connects to the movie with Fluttershy being one of the archers, i liked that part of your story.
As for tipps, maybe she gets a minor injury while training and her partner tends to her and things can heat up from there.
But those are just my ideas on how to improve on the story, but hey, if you feel like it needs a totally new setting than do what you think might work.
Anyway ill be looking forward to the new story, and keep the old version, its still a good story nonetheless.
I'm not gonna lie, I do think it's the worst one in the series, primarily because of an out of character Fluttershy. I mean, it's still a shit ton better than I could do. Anyway, I think you should come up with a new idea if you have the time, but a rewrite wouldn't dissapoint me. So it's up to you.
I say new idea just so you can get another Erotica Girl fic out
maybe do a Subtle rewrite where Fluttershy losses her virginity.
if you want to do a rewrite, go for it. but leave the original story up