Writing Reflections: Part 3 · 1:03am Jul 1st, 2016
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of Bard's Writing Reflections! Before I go into that, however, a reminder that Will-Owl-the-Wisp has finished Night Terrors!
Nightmares are coming alive all across the dreamscape, entrapping unsuspecting dreamers in the perilous world where imagination reigns and memory haunts. Even dreamwalkers—the masters of dream and nightmare—find themselves confronted by the monsters of their own minds and fears. Dreamwalkers and dreamers alike must tread carefully, lest they lose themselves to the very real nightmares of the Never.
It really is a wonderful story. And no, I'm not just saying that because Lyric and Halo (sort of) are in it. 
It's full of action, rousing revelations, and plenty of heart. Please go check it out!
And speaking of finishing stories, I have just finished my next tale, Just What I'm Fighting For. But nothing more from me on that yet. You'll just have to read it when I post it in the next few days, and also wait for when I go over it in my Writing Reflections. 
Now, on to the main event! However, be warned. There will be spoilers for BioShock Infinite and its DLC, Burial at Sea in here. I will try to minimize the spoilers, but do proceed at your own risk. So now you know which story I will be going over. Yep! It's...
The Bird... or the Cage?
I wrote a while back about how and why this story came to be. If you need a refresher, you can check out this blog right here. But even though I desperately wanted to create a crossover for BioShock Infinite and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, I am the kind of person who needs to have everything in my stories make a decent amount of sense. This means I did not want to stick the Luteces into the story just because. Beyond them needing to tell Celestia to send Luna to the moon, they had to have a reason for being there. As I delved into the Luteces' backgrounds, I discovered that, because they are scattered across the probability spectrum, they have the potential to be in any reality at any time. If we think of the world of Equestria as a parallel universe to our own, that means they could appear in that world.
However, I then ran into a second problem, for I also found whilst digging into their background that their primary motivations during the main game of BioShock Infinite was to unite Booker and Elizabeth. So, if that were the case, why would they bother to intervene on the night that Luna is to become Nightmare Moon? Fortunately, the answer soon hit me. They would intervene because a world ruled by Nightmare Moon would mean chaos would reign. Chaos reigning would make it infinitely (haha, bad pun) harder for them to achieve their end goal. Hence, they would approach Celestia and give her the idea of banishing Luna to the moon. And both of these reasons are why I included this exchange between the Luteces right here:
“And just what are we doing here?” It was a stallion’s voice, low, inquisitive. It seemed as if he were standing outside my door. I grumbled and buried my head back into my pillow.
“Since we were scattered across all realities, I suppose it’s only natural that some would be quite… different than our own.” This voice belonged to a mare, and it matched the stallion’s in tone.
“Well, yes, that is certainly a given. But what are we doing here?” the stallion asked again. “We should be finding the girl and returning her to her home.”
“And how are we to do that if this world is plunged into chaos?” the mare questioned.
I also included this exchange to show those who hadn't played BioShock Infinite why the Luteces would be there in the first place. After all, some of my friends hadn't played the game yet and I knew they would be reading this story. I wanted them, and any other readers who may not be familiar with the game, to be able to understand it without giving away any major spoilers.
Another thing I am quite proud of in this story is just how well I was able to capture the Luteces' voices, and just how easily their dialogue came to me. I do attribute this to having played the game many, many times over, so it was easy to hear them speak in my mind as I wrote. I could imagine their voices the whole time. However, I think the one thing that tells me just how well I wrote their dialogue above anything else is the fact that I literally forgot that I had written their dialogue while re-reading the story for the umpteenth time. It was in the middle of this exchange here:
“Yes, to the moon,” Rosalind said, and she began to circle me. “For no earthly prison can hold her.”
“Not for long,” Robert joined her.
“And she will escape, time and again,” Rosalind said.
“Always throwing the world into chaos,” Robert continued.
“And one day, she will win.”
“For she will have grown stronger than you.”
“Nothing will be able to stop her then.”
“Not even the Elements.”
“You can’t let that happen.”
“You won’t.”
Do you have any idea how weird it is to see the words you have penned and forget that you were the one who crafted them in the first place? Let me tell you, it was bizarre, but also a pretty cool experience. I feel that I certainly must have done something right for that to have happened.
And about that exchange itself. It wasn't even in the original draft. Shortly after I wrote the first draft of the story, I was going to see a show with friends. But because of the train schedules, I had ample time to myself after I got into the city and before the show began, plus I had time on the train ride itself. So I printed out the story and brought a pencil with me. Going over the first draft, the idea for this exchange popped into my head, and so I made a note of it and wrote it on my phone. Am I glad that I did, because it's certainly become one of my favorite Lutece exchanges in the piece. I also did not even realize the implications of the Luteces telling Celestia that she would not be able to defeat Nightmare Moon until a while after the story had been published! We see this happen in the end of season five of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the Nightmare Moon alternate timeline. Yet while I was writing, this never occurred to me.
Now, one thing about their dialogue in the context of my story is that it is not as full of veiled messages and hidden speak. They do this with Booker, and for good reason. There are things he has to realize for himself, as he would not believe the Luteces at all had they just told him the truth of the happenings in Columbia. Instead, the Luteces here are direct. They have a goal they need accomplished, and there is an obstacle in their way. They need that obstacle removed. Therefore, they'll be straightforward about it. It also helps that in Burial at Sea, we see the Luteces speaking to Daisy Fitzroy in this way, though I did not even think of this as I was writing. It only came to me as I was thinking of what to say in this blog.
Another snag I ran into when writing this out was using the canon dialogue from Princess Twilight Sparkle: Parts 1 and 2. I had a certain flow going, and, at first, the canon dialogue really disrupted that flow. I had no ideas how to rectify this at first, but then I realized that I could add additional scenes that would justify this exchange. This is why I added Celestia's inner thoughts about Luna being jealous of the day and Celestia wanting to find a solution for it. While I did not think it a perfect solution at the time, it has grown on me, and I think it melded things quite nicely.
I also feel that, for the most part, everyone stayed in character. There are two moments where I have the Luteces break character. The first is at the start of the second exchange posted in this blog, when they circle Celestia. Typically, when the Luteces confront Booker and Elizabeth in Columbia, they are standing still, or at least do not move about much. But here, I felt that some sort of action needed to happen, or else the story would become rather boring with them just sitting there the whole time. Plus, it also adds into the menacing feeling that is encompassing Celestia at that time. The second moment is when I have Robert show just a bit of kindness towards Celestia. It was Robert's idea to have Elizabeth and Booker be united, and so that showed me he had more of a conscience than Rosalind, since Rosalind only went along with the idea so that she would not lose Robert. And so, in my headcanon, it made sense for just a bit of kindness to peek through.
However, that isn't to say that this story is flawless. Just recently as I read it over yet again, I found what could be perceived as a gap in logic. If Celestia was so affected by the waves of Dark Magic as they radiated through the castle the first two times, why was she not affected when she faced Luna in the throne room? However, I have thought of a few separate answers for this that could make it all make sense. I borrowed the idea of Dark Magic potentially causing ponies pain or feelings of nausea from Will-Owl-the-Wisp with her permission, and Wisp states in Night Terrors that after being exposed to multiple waves of Dark Magic, the effects would linger for a while and would mask a new wave. So there is one reason. Another explanation could be that Celestia was so distraught by what was happening that the sickness was at the very back of her mind. She was much more concerned about what Luna was becoming right before her very eyes. Personally, I ascribe to the latter explanation. And since no one else ever pointed it out, I do believe that there is no harm in pointing it out now and sharing my reasons for why this could be. And, of course, you are free to come up with your own answers as well, or share why you always thought this was so!
However, one thing that has always struck me about this story is the emotion in it. I do not try to write emotional pieces, but many of my stories end up that way. I just try to write what would make me happy. But I also wanted Celestia's emotions to be believable here. I did not want her to just accept the Luteces' word as law. This is why, even though she does go along with their plan in the end, she did so in the heat of the moment, and questioned herself afterwords. I also feel like not having Celestia say her name until the end, when she admonishes herself, leaves an impact.
I also did not intend to have this tie into my personal canon at all. Yet when I first conceived of this story idea, this scene was one of the first to hit me:
"What did ya do?" Obsidian asked me, completely astounded. I still could not tear my gaze away. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. Hard. "What did ya do!?" he roared, this time in my face.
I pulled away from his grip and woodenly said, "I did what I had to." The two looked at me as if I were mad. Perhaps I was. After all, I felt mad. I had just done the unthinkable, something that I never would have considered before. And it was all based on the word of two mysterious and seemingly all-knowing ponies who had entered my bedchamber in the night!
I then knew that I had to include Onyx and Obsidian. I felt that showing their reactions to Luna's banishment would serve well against Celestia's own shock and awe, and would help to leave some sort of impact on Celestia herself.
All in all, this, along with Guardian Halo, is definitely my favorite story that I have written, and I would not hesitate to say that it is one of my greatest achievements as a writer so far. It showed me that I could take two of my favorite things and artfully construct them into one narrative. And, of course, my good friend Reneigh Haycart really helped me to turn this story into the one you see today. He helped me choose just the right wording, and helped me to convey just what I wanted to convey. And I have to thank Wisp as well for pointing out some final grammatical errors, so that the story could really be cleaned up once and for all. I have entertained thoughts of a sequel for this story, but I am honestly not sure if it will happen. I have plot points for the story, but I do not have as solid of an idea, as solid of a starting point as I did with this story. Plus, I would not want to take what I have here and create a less-than sequel. If I do write a sequel, I want it to be worthy of the original.
Alright, this one was lengthy, but because of my love for this story, I had a lot more to say. I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you'll stick around for next time! Cheers!
Another fine read here Lyric.
till next time!
Night Terrors was definitely a good story, and a good read. As was The Bird... Or The Cage? Glad your here with us to both spread you're friendship, and you're writing abilities.
4059382
Thank you, my friend!
4059461
Thank you, my friend, and same to you as well! I am also happy to hear that you enjoyed Night Terrors and The Bird... or the Cage? Thank you for always being such a staunch supporter. Cheers!
4059716
You put it much more succinctly just now.
That's not bad at all, Wisp! In fact, that's what I was trying to describe, but failed horribly at doing so.
And I must say, I'm honored that this is your favorite story.
AND that you agreed to play Rosalind! I just need to get back to the editing, so hopefully that will happen now that Just What I'm Fighting For has been completed. And I'm certainly glad you did get to play the game and to experience it for yourself. It's definitely one heck of a ride.
And I absolutely want to give you and Night Terrors more shout-outs! You and your story deserve it.
The Wandering Bard...
i.ytimg.com/vi/-tNDoXIYptk/maxresdefault.jpg
Also btw I do like this story I'm a huge Bioshock fan myself (I'm more of a Bioshock 2 guy myself) and this story is a great one. The twins were always my favorite characters from infinite, because of what they said. In your story you do an amazing job of this, so hats off to you sir on that. You captured the best part of the twins down to a T.
4059742
I was, but my brain was still going, making it hard to sleep.
And thank you, Wisp. It is an honor to work on it with you.
4060002
First off, that picture is great. I had no idea that character existed when I chose this username.
Secondly, thank you very much.
It was a lot of fun to write their dialogue, so it's great to know that it sounds like them.
This was a fun trip down memory lane
4064966
I'm glad! It was certainly fun for me to write as well.
4065473
The bird...or the cage was itself a nice nostalgic wave of bioshock infinite and this was a wave of nostalgia for the story
4065601
Indeed! It was a lot of fun to go down memory lane with this one. There are some things I thought of to say after I'd published this blog, but I forgot them again, so they couldn't have been all that important.
4066614
Booker forgot a whole lot of things...those were PRETTY important...
4066693
True, though that was because the Luteces brought him through a tear into another reality. It does interesting things to your head...
4067169
Yeah, Robert had to go through the same thing when Rosalind pulled him into Columbia the first time.
4067393
Exactly. And then we see how the soldiers Booker killed react when they're brought back to life. And how Chen Lin acted as well.
4067426
Dying and living to tell the tale does a number on the mind
4067576
It does indeed.
4067588
Did you want to weep like I did after Burial at sea EP 2
4067805
It really, really broke my heart... Yet, at the same time, I can't imagine the series being closed any other way. It may have hurt deeply, but it was the perfect way to end things.
I seriously did.
4068730
Elizabeth was a lamb after all. And like daisy and booker before her she put herself up as a sacrifice to save everyone else.
4070357
And thanks to her, Jack was able to go to Rapture and break the cycle that Fontaine created. Though it is up to the player to determine if he becomes a hero or a villain.
4070771
Maybe so, but Elizabeth saw that the timeline that would come to fruition would be the one where he saves Sally, Masha, and the last Little sister and keeps them as his children.
4070891
You're right! I forgot about that part! So that is most likely the ending that the development team saw as canon, though they still gave the player a choice.
4070901
Yeah free choice was an option in Rapture
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." Andrew Ryan.
"We must oppress they tyranny of the self" Sofia Lamb.
They never say what happened to Delta but I like to feel he made Eleanor a saint.
4070909
I'll have to play BioShock 2 and find out. X3
4070929
Will you harvest or rescue?
4071095
Rescue. I'm too soft-hearted to harvest.
4071097
Me to. I've never harvested. The little sisters are to sweet
4071115
Agreed. And it's not really their faults that they became what they are.
4071122
Of course not. It's Ryan, Fontaine, and suchong's fault.
4071130
True. Though it's interesting to find how they imprinted with the Big Daddies.
4071132
First they tried science, then pair bonding. Then Elizabeth found the true way,
4071205
She did indeed.
4071223
I love the irony of suchong's death.
4071246
Yeah... It was something, alright.
4071250
Brutal, but he deserved it.
4071754
Yeeeaaaaah.
4071757
Then again, Tennenbaum didn't deserve that and she was responsible for the LS