Jun
30th
2016
Points of Canon: Friends Forever #30 · 6:26pm Jun 30th, 2016
The series might be on hiatus, but the comics aren’t, and I just got my hands on a new one.
- I forget the particular piece of fanfiction where Twilight was posing for her own Hasbro doll. Well, this one has Twilight and Cadance comparing their dolls on the cover… Cadance isn’t happy being called “the other princess.”
- Twilight is visiting the Crystal Empire to attend an “official dedication of the court of the Crystal Princess” which is some incredibly vague ceremony to honor Cadance. Honestly, I don’t get it at all. I get the writer needed an excuse for the whole plotline, but I could think of better ones.
- Twilight appears to reference the library discovered in Friends Forever #4. She also mentions “a new exhibit detailing the history of the Empire,” which brings to mind the fact that Crystal Empire probably has more knowledge on its own history than the rest of Equestria has on theirs.
- Cadance’s idea of a disguise for going out incognito involves not a spell, but trenchcoats, hats and sunglasses. Which works, as they immediately get taken for tourists and addressed as “strange ponies.”
- A crystal pony offers fabrics to the tourists at 2 bits while the locals get a 7 bit price tag. I’m not sure his logic is sound.
- There are unofficial costumes (full kigurumi style) of Sun Princess, Moon Princess, Friendship Princess and Pretty Princess respectively. I suppose ponies don’t have a particularly well developed copyright law.
- One of the shoppers says “I want Princess Twilight Sparkle, so I can wield the Elements of Harmony,” which is a slightly dubious statement. Either the swap of the Elements for Rainbow Power is not public knowledge, or this comic needs to be dated after Twilight became a princess, but before the Elements were given back to the Tree.
- Somehow Cadance is unhappy about being the pretty one, imagining she’s “just” the pretty one.
- Cadance does hold court, i.e. settle disputes. A chain of silly Solomon-style small claims court decisions follows – first one, about shelf space on market stalls, second one, between two guards (!) about stolen lunch. (!) The latter get a reprimand and get hauled away by Shining Armor, at least.
- The Crystal Heart is apparently directly tied to the mental state of the Crystal Princess. At least, the more annoyed Cadance gets with her lot in life, the more it fades, and as she renounces the (still nebulous) honor she is offered, it fades even more. Twilight trivially talks her back into it and everything is mysteriously restored.
This one is… odd, and mostly a whole lot of nothing, (kigurumi, though…) except for the idea that when the Crystal Princess can’t get her spirits up, the Heart fades just as surely as it does when the whole Empire is depressed.
Remember Fallout Equestria and drugs? Yeah…
This (and so many other things) can be easily explained if one assumes that most ponies have the mental capacity of an average goldfish.
Yet another reason why building a city-state in the Arctic and relying on an emotional lens to keep it habitable is a bad idea.
"...except for the idea that when the Crystal Princes can’t get her spirits up, the Heart fades just as surely as it does when the whole Empire is depressed...."
Now I have this mental picture of two Crystal Empire ponies out at night, watching the stars and the long colorful aurora borealis threads waving around in the sky before one turns to the other and says:
Crystal: That's four, isn't it?
Onyx: Five. Had one before you got your lawn chair and got situated.
Crystal: We really need to get a statue of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor put up sometime. Lucky stud.
Onyx: Yep. Do you think they'll ever realize that the Crystal Heart does this whenever they're in bed?
Crystal: Nope. They're too busy to notice, and nobody has the nerve to tell them.
4058642
Don't diss the goldfish.
4058644
As far as I can tell it wasn't always quite that bad -- in particular, before the Empire started its trip through time, removing the Heart from the premises for a significant period of time did not result in their immediate demise.
4058657
Still not mental giants.
4058670
I didn't say it was unfair to the ponies. It's unfair to the goldfish. :)
4058650
You know, I might just write a scene like that somewhere in Aporia.
If any of the Crystal Empire is left standing by the time the mess rolls in, that is...
4058692
As the very old punchline goes... " I was talking to the horse!"
Rather a fun comic overall, though I feel like Twilight lied at the end. I mean, we see no evidence that the Crystal Ponies are really aware of the fact that Cadance is "kind, acessible, supportive, etc." They just think she's pretty, and like her because she's an alicorn, like Cadance suspected all along, before Twilight either tricked Cadance for her own good and the good of the Empire, or was naive enough to believe. I'm not saying Cadance doesn't have those qualities, just that clearly the citizens of the Empire only seem aware of her beauty, and that's good enough for them.
In terms of canon: First, I thought based on an earlier comic issue (the one where Twilight and Shining Armor go monster hunting) that Shining Armor acted almost as a co-ruler with Cadance, based on the experienced way he handled her cabinet. This pretty much kills that idea, it appears he is only in charge of the guard. On the other hand, the fact that Cadance says Celestia and Luna basically gave her the job as alicorn, and the way she says SA could basically do her job by protecting the Crystal Ponies, makes me think the Crystal Empire is firmly under the laws of Equestria. It's Guam, and Cadance is the governor of Guam, back when we appointed governors to territories. She probably has about the same level of power as Mayor Mare.
You can't wield the EoH with Princess Twilight anymore, but you can't marry Shining Armor if you are Cadance anymore, unless you are doing a vow-renewal thing. I think fillies just want to play pretend, and the Elements of Harmony sounds more fun to play with than "one-off blast of rainbow power that changes everything everywhere" or "magic map that vibrates my butt."
But the big point is, as you pointed out, how incredibly tied the safety of the Empire is to emotional states.
I don't think it's Cadance specifically. Notice how the crystal ponies in the croud all seem nervous and worried when Cadance is missing, and get reassured by Twilight's speech? I think it's equally tied into everyone in the Empire.
It really makes you think, perception creates reality in that place. The Royal Press Secretary is probably the most important figure in the government, for the same reason they hold "crystal faires" and "crystal princess dedications" and a million other pointless crystal-themed holidays, ponies have to feel positive to charge up that heart!
If Chrysalis had been real smart and managed to stay in cover as Cadance long-term, she could have done a fantastic job as crystal princess. She's real good at lying, and has a strong motivation to get the Crystal Ponies to feel intense love. There's probably a story there, about Celestia and Luna wondering about how the Crystal Empire has grown and militarized so fast, where all those mysterious new immigrants moving up there are coming from....
Is this the story you were thinking of?
4059786
Yes, that would be the one.
4059574
I badly want to see that fic.
4237634 It'd probably be a lot like Chuckfinley's "A Persimmon Spring."
4237749
I'll be sure to give it a look.
Attract out of town business, then gouge them after the "first hit is free" and they've already made certain outlays?
(Or he does recognize them.)