GaPJaxie Judges Others II: Cyberpunk Dystopia Edition · 3:44am May 31st, 2016
Lonely evening stuck inside. Been working all day and need a break, but my roommate and my friends are all gone. Don't really feel like video games. It's raining outside. Read about as much ponyfic as I can in a day.
Sigh. Fine. I guess I need to do something this evening.
Time to judge others.
Specifically, this week, I'll be judging the base intellectual capacity and sexual adequacy of Eakin with Friendship is Optimal: All The Myriad Worlds, Versimer with Post-SingulariTwi, Greenback with The Monster Below, and Blueshift with Nineteen Neighty-Four. Ready? Go!
Stories gets a score of Wretched, Poor, Average, Good, or Great, plus a quick summary and a detailed review. Reviews are not spoiler-free, but should not ruin any mystery or suspense.
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Overall Score: Great
Summary:
A tantalizing glimpse into something that is seemingly alien but all too familiar, this collection of short stories elegantly straddles the line between Lovecraftian horror and a love poem to humanity. Succinctly crafting characters who are easily relateable but not quite human, it fully embraces the transhumanist spirit without lessening the story.
Friends of mine who aren't transhumanists have asked me what the narrative appeal of these stories is. Is there any point to them if you're not into that, or are they just a love song to technology? For me, FiO: All the Myriad Worlds is a perfect example of the narrative weight these themes can have even if you aren't a transhumanist yourself, because the core theme of Myriad Worlds isn't about technology, or change, or exponential growth. Rather, it's a question: "What is your heart's deepest, truest desire?"
What is the one thing in this world you want so much, you'd give up anything to have it? The thing you'd sell your soul to posses. The thing you'd give up your life and your humanity for. Is it power? Fame? The ultimate high? Genius? The right to fuck anyone you want? To be desired, to be loved, to be hated, to be killed and eaten, to hunt men like deer? To be free of your guilt or your doubt or your weakness or your family? To be alone or all together, forever as one? What do you want?
And what will you become when you get it?
Humanity, this story posits, is constraint. We don't get what we want in the real world. Not always. Not completely. But the characters of this story, who live in their perfect worlds, always get exactly what they want, every time. And so, in their own way, each has ceased to be human. They have sold their souls to the machine, for immortality, and eternal joy. And looking out over what they've created, and how twisted they themselves have become, each can only come to one conclusion.
It's a perfect world.
If you're looking for a modern take on a "faustian pact" story, I can't recommend this fic highly enough. It disquieted me when I first read it, because I wanted to hate the characters in it for what they had done and what they'd become. And yet, reading the story, I knew I'd have done the same thing in their places. And perhaps it's for the best. They never hurt anyone, or did any harm to achieve their desires. I should be happy that they've found joy. But something in me instinctively recoils. It's a dash of Lovecraft for flavor in a story that is already well spiced, and it easily puts this in my top 20 MLP fanfics of all time.
Story #2: Post-Singularitwi
Overall Score: Average
Summary:
An elegant combination of classical existentialist horror and modern transhumanist ideals, this story's intriguing premise and excellent sense of dialogue will keep you reading all the way to the end. Unfortunately, the story just doesn't have as much depth as it needed to really bring the premise together, and the ending will leave you with a bittersweet feeling of unrealized potential.
Much like Myriad Worlds, this didn't have to be a transhumanist story. While I'm glad it is, and the transhumanist themes it reaches for are well integrated into the narrative, ultimately this is a character-driven story about discovery. Twilight isn't who she thought she was, and her world isn't how she believed it to be. And now, she has to decide what comes next.
While the basic theme of this story has been done a thousand times -- Twilight discovers she's a changeling, Sweetie Bell discovers she's a robot, Applejack discovers she's adopted, etc -- the devil is always in the details. For the theme to be compelling, the author has to first make sure that the profound implications of the discovery are clear to the reader (that they feel real in the context of the world), and then build an entire character arc around the protagonist's reaction to this discovery. Sadly, while this story jumps through the first hoop with gusto and flair, it falls short of the second and ends up face-down in the mud.
There's little I can say without significant spoilers, but suffice it to say, while the integration of transhumanist themes in Ponyville is well handled (it feels like a big deal), and Twilight's reaction to the discovery is well realized (she's well written), the story just doesn't have the depth to build an entire character arc around her reaction, and so while we feel for her, the story ends with a whimper instead of a bang.
I personally loved this story -- enough to Follow the author -- and I look forward to seeing his future works. If you value concept and characterization over narrative, you'll probably feel the same way, and I encourage you to give it a read. But for a typical reader, sadly, the lack of strong character progression leaves this fic feeling so-so.
Story #3: The Monster Below
Overall Score: Poor
Summary:
An entertaining character-driven piece about the power of determination and the dangers of obsession, this story has drama, suspense, and a genuinely relatable yet deeply flawed main character readers will love. Sadly, numerous flaws in execution, pacing, and character design drag down what could otherwise have been a brilliant work.
The Monster Below is the worst fic I ever read start to finish, doggedly checked for updates, and then gave a well earned favorite when it was done. It is the worst food I ever enjoyed and then asked for seconds of, and the worst car that ever got me to my destination and helped me pick up chicks on the way. In short, if you're reading this story for purely for fun, get ready for an exciting tale of daring-do and the triumph of the equine spirit. But if you're reading this story as an editor? Get our your spare box of red pens, because one isn't going to be enough.
Following Silverspeak, an earth pony determined to become an alicorn, The Monster Below sets us up from the first chapter to wonder at the main character's motivations -- and quite effectively so. Silverspeak was born into an all-unicorn town, and there's no denying his obvious inferiority complex played a part in his desire to change his species. And yet, throughout the story, we see that his desire to become an alicorn goes beyond slow-burning childhood humiliation, and is mixed with genuine altruism and a desire to better himself. How much of Silverspeak's actions are driven by high-minded determination vs dangerous obsession is largely left to the reader, though there can be little doubt it's some of both. It's an effective combination, and one that makes the character relateable and sympathetic despite their many flaws.
This strong start is carried through into the rest of the story, both for antagonists and many of the secondary characters. Almost no one in this story (with one exception I'll get to in a moment) is evil, or even anything that might be called a bad guy. They can be greedy, or vain, or oblivious, or reactionary, but all of them mean well, and they show it in their little actions and in their ability to show humility when called out on their mistakes. This quickly personalizes extras, and makes the story feel like it has an ensemble cast despite the fact that it actually has very few named characters. For me, this was The Monster Below's biggest strength. I just like these people and want to read more about them, and it's a great way for pulling you back into the story.
Unfortunately, outside this central scope, it really all falls apart. The primary antagonist isn't merely bad, he's mustache-twirlingly, puppy-kickingly, utterly two-dimensionally evil, a trait that stands out all the more sharply against the more realistic protagonist and background characters. It makes the final confrontation with him utterly unsatisfying from a narrative perspective, leading to a rather lackluster conclusion to the story as a whole. The story's pacing is weak, elements are introduced and then forgotten, or just introduced out of nowhere with no foreshadowing to speak of. Moral problems that could have been amazing drama fodder are waved away, while easily solvable problems are blown up into huge confrontations. And oh my god, I'm sorry, but I need to vent this pet peeve: The plural of "executive" is not "CEOs." A company has only one CEO. Every time you use the phrase "CEOs" while describing a board meeting, my blood pressure gets just a little higher.
Ultimately, to go back to how I started the review, I would say this: The Monster Below is some of the most fun I've ever had reading the work of what is clearly an inexperienced author. This story is riddled with mistakes at every level, but it is not, itself, a mistake. It's an ambitious work that's a ton of fun, and I wish it's author had written more since. I'd have loved to read it.
Story #4: Nineteen Neighty-Four
Overall Score: Great
Summary:
A brilliant parody that had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, this story flawlessly integrates George Orwell's distinctive style, the MLP universe, and common fan-community tropes into a rolling ball of absurdity. It relentlessly flirts with serious drama, but always pulls away at just the last moment -- dangling genuine depth in front of the reader as a lure to set up joke after joke.
“No! No!” Twilight corrected Rarity, and then her words finished fully processing. “No! I mean… all of this Rarity! I can’t take it anymore! Living like this, under the iron hoof of the princess! Does it make you happy Rarity, really? Living in idle luxury in a utopia where your every whim and desire is catered for, where everything you could ever want is free, and where every pony is encouraged to be content and fulfilled! Does that really make you happy?”
Rarity struggled to extract herself from Twilight’s grip. “Uh, yes?” she ventured.
I don't have a long, pretentious review for this story. Partly because it's a comedy, partly because I don't want to spoiler, but in the end, you really have to read the jokes to get it. I can't do it justice. In terms of content, you'll get what you expect -- 1984 meets MLP in an absurdest little ball. In the hands of a less talented writer, this story would have been lackluster. But the execution! The execution of this story is flawless, with a beautiful recreation of Orwell's style, an interesting take on the MLP world, and joke after joke hitting their mark.
Probably the highest compliment that I can pay this story is to say that it's a pure absurdist comedy that's over 8,000 words long, and I never once felt it had overstayed its welcome. That's a long time to keep that rolling ball of ridiculousness going, but the story pulls it off, coasting into a satisfying and well earned conclusion.
Nineteen Neighty-Four is great.
And I really ought to look into the Optimalverse - I keep hearing good things about it.
Nice set of reviews.
Well, he has an incomplete, but actively updating sequel posted... But yeah, Monster Below is very much an unpolished gem of a fic.
Oh, and some large companies actually do have multiple CEOs. You have some kind of chief CEO/President, and then subordinate CEOs responsible for specific divisions of the company, which operate largely independently. For instance, Alphabet has Page as the CEO, and underneath it you have Google, where Pichai is the CEO. Not that it excuses the usage on that context, but still.
I still feel like you should put the rating at the end of the review for each story to build more drama/suspense
3985464
Friendship is Optimal is in the top 3 works of fiction I have ever read (FiM or otherwise) period. I might be biased there, because as someone who is a transhumanist IRL these things are important to me, but that story messed me up emotionally in a way it took me a few days to fully recover from.
Beyond that though, there's a lot of really good side material in the FiO verse, including Myriad Worlds.
3985597
Can do!
3985484
Yeah, I know. Even the company I work for does that -- we technically have three CEOs. But that's because we're technically an international conglomerate of multiple firms, and also, I hate it just as much when I hear it IRL. It's stupid. It's so stupid.
3986186 ever feel like you're stuck in a bureaucratic ant mill?
3986186
Three CEOs without a real head:
http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/14/samsung-now-has-3-ceos-with-the-addition-of-j-k-shin-and-boo-keun-yoon/
CEO is just a title, like any other. When various divisions of a company are largely independent in all regards except resource constraints (for which they all must fight one another to loosen), it sometimes makes sense to split them up logically. And when no human soul can keep track of the efforts of multiple divisions to any useful degree, it doesn't make sense to add a superior to any of the heads. Thus they're all CEOs conjoined arbitrarily for tax reasons,
But not quite only for tax reasons.
The situation gets more complicated when you add in the fact that there was a god-emperor, there just no longer is. Other Chiefs that were directly under the fallen god-emperor are now fighting alongside the CEOs. Combine this with the fact that resource constraints are the only real intersection between divisions, and you're left with an unusual, but predictable, outcome.
The CFO has more power than all of the CEOs. [speculation]And he has strong incentive to prevent consolidation of the CEO position.[/speculation]
Such is life.
3985464
Don't forget to read:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/70441/friendship-is-optimal-the-law-offices-of-artemis-stella-beat
as well!
3986180
I find this intriguing, because I found it to be one of the most overrated fimfics I've read. It's certainly not bad, but I can't get past the premise of the entire story - that Hasbro somehow created a MMO that spawned the world's first bootstrapped strong AI. It felt like every brony wish-fulfilment fantasy rolled into one, and that just got worse as the story went on.
Compared to other singularity stories I've read - Charles Stross's Accelerando, for one, which predates this by almost a decade and is both very good and completely free - it felt simultaneously insufficiently ambitious in its singularity scenario, and yet completely unbelievable because of its premise.
3991586
That's actually precisely what makes it so appealing to me. Lots of singularity stories, while very good and worth reading (I love Charles Stross's work), are either so alien or so abstract that they fail to sell the singularity as a desirable thing. That is, they're so focused on the interesting implications that they really miss the consequences for the average person of: "Unlimited hamburgers, hot and cold running bliss, and yes you can live forever."
That's why FiO really hit me. It uses the Pony mythos as a standin for "wish fulfillment" for the general population. You could swap ponies with any other fictional work, beer, race cars, NASA photographs, or Cracked Top 10 Articles, and the story would not fundamentally change. "Celestia is here to fulfill your values. With Craft Beer." Would have been compelling to me if I was a craft beer geek, but since I'm a pony geek, the pony analogy works better for me. And I project.