The Iron Horse: "Touch" Follow-Up (Including a Deleted Scene!) · 9:04pm May 28th, 2016
Hello everyone! Well, while I'm working on the next chapter and the crossover project, I thought I'd post a follow-up on the most recent chapter: the end-cap of the Romance Arc, "Touch!" Let's get started shall we?
It seems a lot of people really liked the chapter, which I'm relieved to hear. And thank you very much to all of you who left such positive comments - some have even commented that it was their favorite chapter! 
I know not everyone liked it - for various reasons - but the overall positive response is great after all the time and energy I put into it, not to mention the energy of my poor editors who had to go through another 30-pager. Speaking of which, one editor, Generous Gypsy, even made a companion piece for "Turing Stargazes."
"Star Sky" by Generous Gypsy, aka mastahofdisastah (DeviantArt handle)
Very cool! Thanks, pal! 
For reference, here's Green's illustration:
Well, next, I have a bit of a surprise: a deleted scene! You see, part of the problem I had with this chapter was that I wasn't entirely sure what would happen in it. I initially thought it would be a lot slower, quieter, and more intimate, with just Turing Test and Maud hanging out, having little snippets of conversation. It would be very Hemmingway-esque, with a lot beneath the surface. But then I had to be honest with myself and face up to the fact that it really wasn't my style and probably wouldn't end up very good. In fact, it would probably end up very dull. So, I devised a conflict. But while the finished chapter's conflict with the rangers trapped in the rock slide is what you see now, the original conflict was going to be very different.
Originally, there was going to be a thing with Diamond Dogs and, well... here's what I had before I went back and re-did the scene. The first part of it is very similar to how it starts in the finished version. Enjoy!
"Touch" - DELETED SCENE
As Maud turned back to making breakfast, Turing's ears twitched.
“There is someone approaching your cabin,” she said. “They are running, so it may be urgent.”
Sure enough, the clatter and crunch of galloping hooves on gravel was heard, followed by a frantic pounding of hooves on the door.
Maud opened it to reveal Jelly Stone, who was standing there panting and out of breath.
“Maud Pie! Oh, it's just terrible!” she cried. “There's been a--”
“Shh,” Maud said, again putting her hoof to her lips. “You'll wake Boulder.”
“What what what?!” she exclaimed. “This is no time for--”
“It is too late: he is already awake,” Turing said from inside the cabin, causing Jelly Stone to peer around Maud. Turing held the little pebble aloft in her hoof. “And you have made him cranky.”
Maud sighed as she turned back to Jelly Stone. “Well, I hope you're happy now.”
Jelly Stone puffed out her reddening cheeks indignantly. “Y-you two are-- ugh!” She took a deep breath, calming herself. “Listen, the Visitor Center was robbed last night! I came to ask if you two have seen or heard anything.”
Turing and Maud shook their heads.
“Great,” Jelly Stone sighed. “I thought as much.”
“How much money was taken in the crime?” Turing asked.
“None,” Jelly Stone replied. “They only took some samples from the museum. Including that beautiful hunk of turquoise you found for us, Maud.”
Maud’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Show me.”
***
The Visitor Center was a fairly small wooden building along a dirt road. Turing Test, Maud, and Jelly Stone all trotted across that small dirt road as they made their way to it.
“That road eventually leads to Las Pegasus,” Maud said to Turing as they crossed it. “I’m thinking about stopping by there when I get some free time.”
Jelly Stone whipped her head around. “Why Maud! I never pictured you as a gambler!”
Maud blinked slowly and turned to her. “I’m not,” she replied. “But I hear that the sedimentary basins and alluvial deposits in the area are pretty impressive.”
Jelly Stone sighed, but chuckled to herself. “Oh, Maud… you really are something else.”
“It may not be wise to do any studying there, Maud Pie,” Turing Test said, startling Jelly Stone at her sudden statement. “I have read that everything that happens in Las Pegasus must remain in Las Pegasus. It would be a waste of effort to survey the area only to have the data remain.”
Both Maud and Jelly Stone stared at her.
“I don’t think that’s what they meant,” Maud replied. “But that’s pretty funny anyway.” She gave another half-smile.
Jelly Stone wrinkled her nose and trotted over to the door of the Visitor Center, holding it open. “Okay you two lovebirds! Get inside and either help us solve this mystery, or else you can just go back to your love shack!”
Maud nodded and entered the Visitor Center without another word. Turing Test followed her, though she noted the hard glare Jelly Stone gave her as she passed.
The inside of the Visitor Center reminded Turing of the Manehattan Hall of Science. It had several displays on the walls and lots of different exhibits in the front room, as well as a gift shop. The exhibits included fossils of prehistoric animals, dioramas of geological features, as well as numerous samples of petrified wood and, of course, rock samples.
“You contributed to the exhibits here, Maud Pie?” Turing asked.
“Mm-hmm,” Maud replied. “Just a few samples I found, mostly. The turquoise I found here was the first to be found in the Western Badlands. I analyzed the sample and sent it off to the University, but then I donated it to the Park.”
“That was very generous of you.”
“It was a very unique rock,” Maud said. “Everypony who comes here should get a chance to see it.”
“Yes yes yes,” Jelly Stone said impatiently, motioning for them to follow her. They did so, and she took them to a small room with a sign over the door marked “Gemstones of the Badlands.”
Inside, they could see the obvious damage, as several glass cases had been smashed and their contents removed. Now they were nothing but empty pedestals with labels to their former occupants. One of the larger ones read “Turquoise,” and it was this one that Maud Pie approached.
“Honestly, all the other samples were small and easy enough to replace,” Jelly Stone said, lowering her head solemnly, “but that rare turquoise… oh, what a find it was, Maud! And to think that somepony stole it!”
She sank to her haunches, luckily avoiding the broken glass on the floor, and buried her face in her hooves. “It’s such a shame… but don’t worry, I’m sure we can figure out who took the turquoise!”
“Hmm,” Maud said, glancing at the empty pedestal. “That sample was nearly the size of my hoof. I was really glad to find it. It’s really valuable, so we should find it quickly before somepony sells it.”
Turing Test, meanwhile, was scanning the floor. She followed the trail from the broken cases across the room to the smashed-in window, which was obviously the breaking point. The robbery was anything but delicate, but the culprit hadn’t left much in the way of physical evidence.
Then again, no organic pony had her eyes. She scanned the floor and found a small hair under a shard of broken glass. She switched to U-Mode (again startling Jelly Stone in the process) and held the hair up.
“I believe I have located a hair from the culprit,” Turing Test stated.
“Ah ha!” Jelly Stone said. She held out her hoof and took the hair, glancing at it intently. “Well, whoever our perpetrator is, we know they’re gray!” Then she paused. “Oh, wait. This could just be from a visitor.”
“This follicle is not from a pony. Structurally, it seems to closely resemble a dog hair.”
From there, Turing, dealing with her own doubts, was going to rush off on her own to confront the Diamond Dogs, whose leader would be uncharacteristically well-spoken and point out that she'd actually crossed over from the Western Badlands into their territory, meaning she was technically violating an agreement between Equestria and the Diamond Dogs' "tribe," especially since she had no proof about which one had taken the turquoise. And since she also wasn't a citizen of Equestria anyway, since she wasn't a "real" pony, she had no right to be there and they could well declare her to be their property by right of salvage. Of course, Turing would be on the verge of resisting, but then Maud would show up and, in her usual slow, quiet way, tell everyone to calm down. She'd then propose to the Diamond Dogs' leader that she would be willing to trade them a chunk of amethyst stone she had in her private collection in return for the samples. She'd then hold out a very large chunk of the stuff and the Dogs would eagerly agree. Maud and Turing would leave, though Maud would warn the dogs that another action like this would not end so well for them, and she'd smash a large boulder to punctuate her point.
The reason for her having the amethyst stone in the first place would baffle Turing, as would her willingness to give up such a valuable stone for something the dogs had stolen. Maud would explain that the monetary value of the amethyst wasn't why she'd had it. The only reason she'd kept it at all was because it reminded her of Turing (because of her eyes), and now she didn't need the stone, because now she had the real thing. And then the chapter would have ended much like how it does now.
Ultimately, I felt like it was just complicating the plot and not doing a good enough job of showing Maud and Turing's similarities and why they were such a good match or each other. One thing I do like about this deleted scene, though, is that it more explicitly hints at Jelly Stone's jealousy of Turing Test, but I decided that even that was distracting from the main focus of the chapter.
By the way, if you'd like another bit of Maud shipping, there's a story that hit the Featured list recently that I read and it's a cute bit of Maud-ness that I found enjoyable, so I'll just go ahead and give a short plug for "Maud's Date."
And that just about wraps this post up! As an endpiece, here's a picture that that reader Phenoix12 shared that pretty well sums up the Romance arc perfectly. Thanks for sharing, Phenoix!
Yeeeah, glad you left out that scene. It's not very great. And you're welcome for the pic! It was a neat challenge to draw ponies at a slightly different angle than usual... which I think I failed at miserably. But hey, never know if I don't try.
It is very important to know what to cut and what to keep. Good choice.
Wow... really glad you went with the one you did! That deleted scene... doesn't quite work.