"Dirty" but not dirty · 5:17am Apr 6th, 2016
Enoch, do not read this
(Explanation: I know one of my mom’s students reads this blog, and he’s a bit young for this. He is however very honest and he probably won’t read this now.)
Bye Enoch!
Some of you may have noticed that I went through all of Limits of the Horizon without ever using the letters s-e-x in that order. This was done more as a writer’s challenge rather than any aversion to the word, though I don’t think this will be possible as I move forwards. It has however brought me to wonder why virtually every slang in western culture for sex is negative:
1. Talking sexually is referred to as ‘talking dirty’.
2. Fuck or screw are words for sex; but if I said you’re fucked/screwed in a game it means you’ve lost or if I said the shopkeeper screwed you over it means he cheated in business. Fuck is also something people say simply to convey they’re angry or upset which I don’t understand. (At least saying ‘buck’ when you’re mad conveys you want to hit something, so that makes some sense.)
‘Bang’ sounds juvenile.
3. You might say slept/lay with or went to bed with, but those lack energy or enticement.
Meanwhile every slang term I know for a penis is extremely derogatory:
1. If I call someone a dick, it means they’re a rude, mean person.
2. A cock is a small, stupid, weak, dirty animal.
3. Willy or doodle just sounds silly and impotent.
4. Referring to a penis as a guy’s “junk” is self-explanatory as to why it’s offensive. (Spoiler: Fidora gets quite offended when Sky Blaze uses this term.)
Those are the words we are used to talking about sex, and I can’t help think it’s contributing to the general negative attitudes about relationships in our culture. Ex: if a guy thinks that sex is nasty and respectable women won’t like it, he’s not going to have any thoughts of marriage: even though statistically married men have far more frequent and enjoyable sex than unmarried men do.
However, someone like Fidora from a Zaharren culture, where family is the highest wealth/ treasure; and knows that the way you get new family members is through sex isn’t going to see sex as dirty/ shameful/ disgusting; (maybe the bed-sheets need changing, but we don’t talk about dinner like it’s shameful, just because it leaves dirty dishes).
For a while now I’ve been thinking about a contrasting Zaharren vocabulary for sex. It’s mostly figured out but could use a bit of padding and so I want your words that refer to sex, genitals, orgasm etc which:
1. Don’t sound like medical terms.
2. Don’t sound like you’re beating around the bush but are discussing it openly.
3. Could be obvious from the context what they refer to.
4. Make sex sound like it’s something moral, civilized, mature, intelligent stallions and mares routinely do together as part of a normal, healthy life.
I’d also like your opinions on why our society has taken such a negative vocabulary to sex in general?
(Note: I’m virgin so if you want to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, go ahead.)
While I can't help with your first request, I can theorize about why There are negative connotations. To me it seems evident that it stems from the facts that 1. sex is (or was) a private part of people's lives, and 2. sex shouldn't be discussed around children. The combination of these results in there being a figurative taboo about mentioning sex. When people inevitably do speak of sex, they are therefore breaking the unspoken rule. As rules generally shouldn't be broken, the crime of mentioning sex is therefore treated negatively.
If you want to find people online with creative names for sex, I'd suggest asking people on MemeCenter. However, I wouldn't recommend this, as humor is often taken way to far there, and many people there don't take kindly to bronies.
Whatever you decide to do is probably fine.
Cheers
3904506
I'll agree that sex was treated as taboo in western culture; and yet it very likely that because kids aren't given honest descriptions of sex by their parents, they develop their understanding of sex/ marriage from movies and porn, might be one of the reasons divorce is so high today.
A place where sex was more openly discussed, and where the "good girls" were the one's who got married and had lots and lots of hot, happy sex with their husband both for mutual pleasure and to make lots of babies would have very different words surrounding sex. It might have derogatory words for sex outside of marriage, but there is a big difference between saying 'don't have sex outside of marriage', vs 'keep sex inside of marriage'.
One makes it sound like sex is the problem because it's dirty. The other makes sex sound like something precious enough that needs to be treated in the right way.
Whenever you try to change people's behavior you lead with what to do rather than what not to do. Asking you to feel relaxed is very different from asking you to not feel stressed.