The Celestia Code, by: iisaw · 1:12am Apr 6th, 2016
Twilight finds a old forgotten storeroom full of ancient treasures. After a massive nerdgasm she gets to work cataloging them, but finds among them a journal pointing to something truly disturbing. Hints that Celestia might not have always been the benevolent, adored monarch she is seen as now, but instead a cruel tyrant. In order to find out the truth, she sets out for a lost city, forgotten by history, there she will soon find that although forgotten by nearly all, the legacy of this old ruin is still impacting Equestria to this day.
Story: Overall this was a very well written story. A few minor annoyances with the style, but on the whole, incredibly well done. It manages to keep moving at a good pace, speeding up when needed, yet taking time to simply explore the world and the characters as well, while building up to more to come at every step. It manages to add a ton of great humor, without ever becoming outright comedic. Keeping the overall tone light, without ever having that get in the way of how serious Twilight’s mission is, or how perilous some of the situations they find themselves in are. Just enough to keep the mood from getting to grim and dour. The jokes coming naturally from the characters interactions and idiosyncrasies. Never feeling out of place, just all around a perfect way to blend together levity and seriousness that nearly perfectly matches the overall tone of the show in the process. Helped by the nearly perfect use of footnotes. The story almost reaches Sir Terry Pratchett levels of footnote glory. While not quite as witty as Sir Pterry’s, and often far more on point, it’s still a great usage of them that fells perfectly natural thanks to the way the story is told. ¹
¹ Personal side note I really do like adding the footnote right after the paragraph. Positioned just right to not break the flow of the story, and easy to reference. Doubly so for me given I do nearly all my fic reading on a Kindle.
Not that the writing is without its flaws. One of the most reoccurring for me is the overly emphasized chapter ending cliffhangers. Not on the narrative side, of always ending a chapter at some high tension point, but rather that the story has to add in one or two random lines that serve no purpose in the story except to cause a ‘dramatic’ end of the chapter. The most obvious and one of the worst done of these being
On an impulse, I raised a shield around us, giving it about half a day of magical charge. It turned out that it was a very good thing I did so.
It’s like the story is jumping up and down screaming “Hey something bad/exciting is going to happen!” before it does, in some places ruining the surprise of it, in others, just feeling off. It might have worked when the story was being made, as a way to keep attention high till the next chapter was out, but reading it all at once, it just gets annoying.
The other major “This really could have been done better” bit was the way the first few chapters jumped around in the story’s timeline. The opening in medias res bit was amazingly well done and worked to instantly get me hooked into the story, but after that it just got confusing about why the story was bothering. Yes it led to a truly hilarious Gilligan Cut, but beyond that there was little reason for it and it just made the start of the story a tad disjointed.²
²And side note, while the opening bit was amazing as a start of the story, when we get to that moment in the story, it just doesn’t feel big enough for how tense an opening it made. It was important, and made perfect sense. But overall, just a tad underwhelming for a scene that was let to build that long and made to feel like a much more intense event then it turned out to be. Still great opening, payoff later wasn’t as good as it felt it should have been, but still good.
But those are both overall minor complaints. And no issues with the overall story narrative wise. A few choices it makes yes, but those are for later.
Characters: Let’s start with the two major canon characters that this story focuses on. First, Twilight Sparkle. This was a strikingly well done take on Purple Book Horse Princess. Doubly so for being in first person from her POV. Seeing her thoughts play out, hearing her internal monologue, everything fits so well and the whole story really does feel like Twilight could be telling it. The ways things are phrased, what is focused on, even the footnotes all work to make this truly feel like we are inside Twilight’s head. And her actions in the story, also nearly perfectly fit. Nearly. Two things felt a tad off. One, her slightly overblown reaction to the Tyrant Celestia drawing, and just how much she over reacted at times to thoughts of anyone ever seeing Celestia as less then utterly perfect. While it was hilarious and well done on the whole. It might have been just a bit to exaggerated for her at this point in her life, I could see this from a younger, likely pre-ascension Twilight, not so much from this much more mature version of her. Which leads to the second bit that both felt a tad off, and yet almost perfect. Just how mature she comes off, how perfectly at ease with her role as Princess, the way it describes her Royal Duties, her interactions with Celestia and Luna, none of them quite feel like they’d fit for when this appears to take place.³ But rather, they feel like they would fit perfectly a Twilight who had a few more years to grow into her role. Not enough to be perfectly at ease with it, but a good three or four after that point in the show.
³About the same time it was written late season 4 early season 5-ish
But that said, even this slightly more mature feeling Twilight is still our lovable, adorkable, socially awkward Book Horse. And still able to learn, to have her flaws to overcome, and actively trying to do that, still with stuff to learn. Just all around, while a bit off feeling for present Twilight, a nearly perfect look at what Twilight could become in a few more years.
The other major canon character, is the glorious presence of Her Royal Holelyness Queen Chrysalis. Swiss Cheese Legs is also done nearly perfectly. A great blend of ego, contempt for all others, hammyness, overwhelming pride, and just plain awesomeness. While giving us a backstory for her the makes her entire attitude not only make sense, but gives it a rather tragic and very sympathetic cast to it. Taking her from a card carrying villain, to a character seemingly trapped by her past, lashing out at the unfairness of life, but sympathetic. While still being even more threatening then she was in A Canterlot Wedding.
The only other major canon characters are the Royal Sisters. They were both well done. Only minor issue for me was just how out of nowhere it felt for them to be playfully ribbing Twilight about her 9lack0 of a special somepony and just how interested they seemed to be in getting her to hook up with somepony. Just, hard to ever picture them having a conversation like that for me. But even during it they felt perfectly in character, just that it seemed to come out of nowhere. But throughout the rest of the story, they were done great. Felt like themselves, served a good role as duel mentors for Twilight, each with their own style coming through clearly in the advice they give her.
Okay now onto the OC’s. Jigsaw was extremely lovable. Able to keep up with Twilight and the two worked off each other so well. Just the right balance of respect for the Princess, while still (eventually) being relaxed enough around her to reign Twilight in when she started going to OCD, or having an anxiety attack. Able to playfully chide her. All in all, by the end they really did feel like friends. And it’s always great seeing the Mane 6 making close friends outside of each other. I do have to point out a bit of a “Show, don’t tell” issue with her however. Specficly the whole ‘athletic scholarship” bit. Yes it was a Chekhov’s Gun with a very well done pay off. But for all her and Twilight keep mentioning it, we never actually see any evidence of it outside of when the gun got fired. There is the occasional “Dumb jock” joke by her when Twilight starts in with the technobabble, but at no point does Jigsaw ever come off as anything but extremely intelligent in her own right. And is smarter then Twilight in some areas. Knowing far more about archeology as well as history and art. It simply felt like the “athletic Scholarship” stuff wasn’t well integrated into her character. We got told it a lot, but nothing about her really showed it till the end. It felt tacked on simply as the set up for her admittedly flat out awesome moment near the end. Great idea, could have been more smoothy worked into the character. Oh and her ‘relationship’ with Twilight. Again, well done, maybe a tad rushed, but, I simply loved the story going there and seeing Twi deal with a one sided crush. It just felt amazing to see. And loved that they managed to get through it like rationale, mature adults. While still having the expected emotional reactions as well.
And finally, the two Changelings. Not a whole lot to really get into with them. They weren’t bad by any stretch, but not really all that developed, and really hard to say more about the two of them to tell them apart beyond “One who liked Jigsaw” and “One who liked math” Not bad, but could have been better. Then again, insectile drones and all, that does work well for Changelings.
Engagement: Absurdly high. This story is a highly addictive page turner. The story keeps going at a steady pace, never bogs down, the dialog and character interactions are so fun to read, you can’t wait to see more. And then add in the mystery of the ruins. Finding out the history of this place, always with something new in store after every revelation. As above, the In Medias Ras opening sets the stage well. And the story keeps you guessing, being very unpredictable in where it’s going, but those twists all fitting perfectly into the puzzle in hindsight. It all works, and makes you eager to keep reading to find out what is coming next.
Everything about the story is just so overall enjoyable to experience you don’t want to stop. The right blend of tension, humor, mystery, suspense, excitement and fun.
Ponyness: As you can tell from the upper sections, this story nails the ‘ponyness’. Every one feels in character, the world-building is unique, but also feels perfectly natural. And the backstory, oh sweet Faust is the backstory for not only Chyssi, but also Sombra damn good. I could totally accept this as their true backstory. The Unicorn Supremacists also felt well done and like they could fit. Even something so agsint everything Equestria stands for worked well in the world. That was the whole point, they choose to reject the ideals of Harmony. And given the time frame they were from, it makes sense some ponies simply could not let go of the old ways. And yet they still felt like an actual culture. Not just some half formed excuse for these things to be there, but their motivations, their creations, all of it stemmed from a well thought out cultural that tied it all together so well.
This does however lead to my one biggest issue with the story, that I feel does go against the shows themes and message, that just felt really off putting, mostly through unfortunate implications rather then anything direct. One of those things that only stands out of you think about what it could mean in the larger context. The Changelings. No not the backstory, not how they are now, but rather the big revelation about their possible future. First is the Fridge Logic of, so in all the millennia they have been around, not one of them has ever made a friend? This is the very first time, ever, any of them has grown attached to a pony? Alright, it’s a stretch, but given how they are at the start, it could work out. Maybe any they are not the first, but those that did before simply never returned to the hive to tell about it, preferring to simply live as ponies. But that’s just some fridge logic. The real issue comes from how this is treated like this great thing. And yet, it’s really not. So, if a Changeling ever actually makes friends with a pony.. they will cease to be changelings? In order to enjoy the magic of Friendship, they have to completely give up their lives before that point? Lose everything that makes them Changelings, and fully become a pony? Why is this a good thing? The only way they can be accepted into Equestria is to remove their race from existence essentially? It is just... it does not feel right in the slightest. And we see this in Chesarre (Yeah probably massacred the spelling on that.) who had come to value her friendship with Twilight, wanted to stay with her, learn from her, but at the same time, was horrified at have her body forcibly altered by it. At losing abilities that had been a core of who she was her whole life to do so. I do not like, in the slightest, that this gives the changelings only two choices “Give up being who you are, or forever be alone” Yes in Chryssi’s case, this IS a good thing, because for her this is a curse, something she wants to end. But for all the rest? This is who they are. Why should they be forced to give it up? No, did not like that bit in the least.
Overall: Incredible. Yes this story was just superb all around. Great use of characters, great OC’s, enjoyable to read at every moment. The only reason it’s not rated better is it does have flaws. The cliffhangers and the odd disjointedness with the opening are minor annoyances that I can get over. But the whole issue with the changelings is such a ‘what the hell story” moment that, it kind of brings down the whole thing a bit. That and a few other minor issues. But none of that does more then slightly dampen an otherwise phenomenally done story. If you like a suspenseful story with a great blend of action, drama and humor, give it a read. ¹
¹Oh and one more issue, that flashback scene with RD, you know the one story... that was just in really poor taste.
Spoiler alert. Don't read until you're caught up to the sequels. That gets fixed in the sequels. The changlings develop a charm to prevent them from changing into a pony.
Linked here by iisaw. Gonna have to follow. Always nice to see more in-depth reviewers.
I hope I can write reviews that are half as well-written as this one some day.