Jan
7th
2016
I have a Patreon now! · 9:03am Jan 7th, 2016
So the doctor's news was pretty bad. Best option for me at the moment is an emergency, potent AP med I can only take once every three days or so, to prevent myself from attuning to it.
It's a pretty bandaid fix for now, but I'm going to be grateful for it.
Because of that, I finally grew the balls required to make myself a Patreon. Per update, of course, because that's an incentive. Whipcracking, hyah!
Coming up tomorrow is the full writeup of one of the best game sessions I've ever run, the second Paranoia session. Why not here? Because I'm not going to be breaking that one up, and it's long, but it's super friggin' good.
Oh, dear; I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't have any spare money to throw your way... About all I can do is offer you hopes for good luck, and another voice appreciating your work.
3670075
I get how you feel. Any other world, I'd be throwing money at someone else's Patreon, not setting up my own.
On the one hand, that sucks about the medication.
On the other, here's hoping patreon works out.
Some pretty generous rewards!
I'll sign up when I get to my computer later. As long as I don't forget this. I really hope I don't. Because you deserve it!
Morbidly curious question ahead:
Have you ever sat down and worked out what the actual odds are of your survival?
I'm happy to support you on patreon, but... Is self-inflicted pressure to perform something you need right now?
3670158
I think I worked out at one point that, from about a month from now, I would probably have a more-or-less 1% chance to die every day, possibly increasing or decreasing depending on situation and just how long I've gone on a particularly shift.
Which is a very, very, very big revolver to play Russian Roulette with, admittedly, but still not one I'm happy to press to my skull, to make a metaphor literal.
The emergency AP med reduces it significantly, because it means I'm not having any... one major risk was that when I get less warning on a psychotic episode, I might end up like one particular friend of mine. I'm still at the risk of really nasty seizures, among other things, but I'm not going to be biting through my own wrists again, say, or stabbing myself repeatedly.
This is a huge relief to me, because being the unwilling spectator to your own suicide is kind of a thing that no one should have to deal with.
3670199
Mostly it's a self esteem thing. This time 12 months ago I was making some good money writing, but I can't do the corporate jobs since the last seizure, because I haven't been able to commit to work hours or client discussion. The idea that people are still willing to pay for my work is something that'd be really good for me right now.
As it is, a lot of the time it feels like I'm only for my own sake, which depression twists into a "not worth doing" mindset -- because I'm not a person worth doing things for, according to my illness. Even a really small token helps offset this greatly, because it's this physical, tangible thing I can have that I've earned.
Well, I asked if you had a Patreon, and now you've got one, so I've signed up for it.
Considering what you were expecting from the doctor visit, "pretty bad" sounds like about the best you were going to hear, so that's good. Uhhh .. well, not good obviously, but. Um. Silver lining?
Re Patreon: I'm in. Approximately how many chapter updates per month do you anticipate, so I can budget accordingly?
Jeez, I didn't realize you were in that bad of shape. I signed up for your Patreon, but know that you've also got my prayers and such, too.
3671737 You can set a limit per month, if you need.
3672045
I know, but if (say) I was planning on spending 1000 distims per month and Numbers plans on an update every other day, it's a lot more honest to pledge 100 distims per update and cap it at 10 updates than to pledge 1000 distims and cap it at 1 update. Otherwise the numbers and goals and such get lopsided relative to intentions — I don't want it set up so that the first update of the month gets him gostak money and the others just buy him coffee.
3672066
It's fine, honestly. I get what you mean.
I'm planning on updating slightly more frequently than I have been, which averages to about once a month. Except it more averages to one in two months, two in one month.
With the exception of Mare who Once Lived on the Moon, starting the new story, I rarely update more than that.
This is largely because I rarely make an update less than 8,000 words, and recently closer to about 13,000. I'm not going to lower that to get more money out of the system, because the whole reason I feel comfortable setting it up in the first place is how much work goes into an update.
Updating more than twice a month or so would be flat out cheating.
I know I don't often comment on blogs, but I feel I need to comment here.
I wish you literally the best; I might not have anything like the same issues you have, but I understand and sympathize with you, at least.
I wish you all the best, and the best of luck with everything.
You're one of the best writers around, and I always enjoy seeing your stories, so I wish to be a little selfish and say I hope you'll be around for a long, long time yet.
3672273
Thanks! Supported.
And, because I am evil, I donated just enough to miss your next pledge level by one cent. Because I am crafty evil, see. I'm leaving incentives for the next fella.
I GUESS SOMEONE ELSE IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE YOU MORE MONEY THEN.
**beams subliminal mind-control rays at your audience**
3680022
Oh thank God