Ok, seriously? · 11:01pm Aug 17th, 2012
So, today I went out for around an hour. Things were looking good. Really good. I said goodbye to my friends on the IRC, I managed to get an underage kid silenced by me being an asshole, and I got to talk to my brother. Went to the store, picked up some sushi, had a nice little dinner, and everything was going beautifully. Then I came home and looked at the featured box...
Reminder: I RARELY read, but when I do, I'm interested in the premise or I want to see how badly it's executed.
...Oh... looks like we got Pinkie back.
Anyway, remember that rant I did a few months back about how I hate this site? Consider this part two. Except not as long.
WHY THE FUCK DO MOST OF YOU GUYS LIKE SHITTY FANFICS? Seriously. I read this. Not skimmed it, I actually READ IT. And I tore it apart in the #fimfiction IRC, ask anyone there. There's a myriad of errors in this fic.
Wanna know what I can re-count off the top of my head?
Religion, calling Spike a she, Applejack giving Spike a thermos of cider (remember, he's dead), saying that Changelings have a toxin that Equines are immune to but animals (or dragons) aren't, calling Spike an infant in one paragraph, then an adolescent later (how fast do dead dragons age?) and a ton of awkward sentences.
Guess what? There's probably more. A lot more. There's so many fucking errors in it, I even called it a COMEDY because I have never laughed so hard at a fic failing the 'sad' category before. And you know what I hate even more? People are actually crying and bringing MLD into it.
Now, you know why this is featured?
It's a sadfic cliche.
I, as well, am guilty of these. The Last Party and One Final Day are both cliche'd fics and I hate myself for writing them, which is why I'm not continuing/editing them.
Now, for some fucking reason, people are drawn to these like moths to flame. And you know what? I hope everyone who says this is a good fic gets third degree burns all over their bodies (not literally, that would be mean).
...Thank you once again, Pinkie.
This has been an ongoing problem that will never stop, sadly. People get drawn to terrible fics, get said terrible fics featured, then other people complain--like myself--and the cycle continues. I know what you people are going to comment.
'Oh, but if you don't like it you shouldn't have read it! You're no better than an anti-brony--I'm still laughing at the idiot who said that--'cause you hate things! Let people enjoy what they want 'cause it doesn't affect you!'
For once, I agree with you, Pinkie.
Guess what asswipes? It does affect me. Featured box should be for fics of decent quality. Instead, I have to look at these terrible fics getting featured DAILY. Only ones I'd willingly read on the current list? Grinding Gears (based on a friend's recommendation) and that Device Heretic fic.
Everything else? Meh. That's all I'll say about them.
And, like my previous rant, will I ever say I'm a great writer? No, I will not. But people tell me that 'cause in contrast to most of the shit on this site I apparently am a great writer. That's how bad it is.
Now, the main reason for this rant? The writer on that shitfic that got featured deleted my comment. I was a bit harsh in it, sure, but instead of listening to what I said they DELETED IT. Besides, it's my job to be an asshole. I don't get paid for it, but if I get my comments deleted, that just means I'm doing it correctly.
Wanna know what my comment basically said? 'This fic is so terrible, you should've labeled it a comedy.' Of course, I added a few points to it, but the message still remains.
Pinkie... what are you even doing out of your cage? And why is your mane straight... and why'd you get so big? Yes, we get it. You hate most of the users on this site as much as I do, but there's no need to be feeding--and getting huge--on butthurt. Unless it's from writers who can't take harsh criticism.
Now, back into your cage.
...Why'd your mane go poofy again? Anyways, see? You guys made me make Pinkie sad. You should feel ashamed. This is all because you guys like shitty fanfics.
Anyway, that's about it for now. I need to console a psychotic pony with borderline personality disorder.
Carmine, out.
Ah Carmine... your spite keeps me going on these slow days that have few good updates.
I remember you tearing the shit out of it and I have to say, it was funny as hell. You got the major points down and you did it well, so I don't see why people should be complaining, you gave him what is wrong with it and what he needs to do fix it. I don't see his problem.
For your troubles:
i.imgur.com/fY7Ca.gif
Well, to this rant, I can say only one thing to you.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3932-1332977834427.png
You don't like what makes the feature box? Don't LOOK at the feature box. You can make your points on why you dislike a fic without being an asshole. In short
When it comes to your views on the feature box:
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5736-pinkie_butthurt.jpg
Wish I was there for the chat rant. To bad I have these pesky obligations to keep, like a job. Dude, work takes me away from ponies and that's not cool!
Anyway, I'm not sure what there is you can do about it other than writing your own stuff. That's pretty much how I got into the fanfiction writing business. I saw stories that made my eyes burn with rage because I knew, knew before I even started, that I could do a better job. Haven't looked back since.
So get out there and show those phoney-baloney ponies how it's done!
...
The fuck is this shit?
293678 Called the comment an hour before I even wrote it. Keep trying, bro.
293679 If I get the motivation? Better believe I will.
293676>>293666 Glad to see I can make some people's day.
You took the words right out of my mouth. This fandom just has very very low standards and love cliche ridden plots. They'll like something just for the premise alone and thumbs it up without reading it, like usual.
293678 Please tell me you're joking.
293678
...
thebreakthrough.org/blog/The%20point-you.jpg
IF I SEE THAT FUCKING PONY ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!!!
Also: This is why you should ALWAYS save comments.
293685
Looking over the comments in the story, and people saying how they are usually 'tough' but this made them cry, it makes me angry.
293688 WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU WUSS? CAN YOU NOT HANDLE THE PINKIE? IS THE PINKIE TOO MUCH FOR YOU? BITCH, ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE QUALIFIED TO HANDLE THE PINKIE. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM. >:D
293691
SO VERY ANGRY
293693 You... YOU... DOUBLE PINK-ER!
293678 IM SO SMART IMMA STEEL IMAGZ!!! HERPZ
SHIT IS SO CASH! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
293676
i.imgur.com/I8YHS.gif
293688
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120603190548/mlpfanart/images/thumb/5/58/Pinkie_Pie_(changeling).png/400px-Pinkie_Pie_(changeling).png
i46.tinypic.com/2zel1d0.png
293716 DUDE! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
293702 How appropriate.
293716 Is a changeling; would fuck e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/love/lust/aroused.gif
293748
293700
...Wow. This is why I make a point to avoid feeding the trolls.
You don't get sarcasm, do you?
293744
That's me.
293773
files.sharenator.com/mlfw295_you_seem_upset_Are_you_a_Brony-s422x428-340734-535.jpg
293790
Yes?
You can delete comments? Never knew (or never bothered to question it or look to my right).
Anyway, I read this story just to see if this rant was worth reading.
So many errors... I'd give it a 5/10 just because it reminded me of a funeral I went to recently (close relative, and it was rather sad that my father, my mother, my brother and I were the only four to attend).
Cliches make the feature box. It's a sad truth. Did you see the one a week or so ago titled "To My Ever Faithful Student"? That sounds similar to this one.
I don't think it would have been as big of a deal if they wouldn't have deleted your comment, though.
293797 The fact that you can't see the image multiplies the 'humor' factor of this conversation.
i agree completely with well, just about everything youve said. i mean, the only other thing i couldve said was make whatever comment you said more constructive than angry. but ah well, right? as is, there are a lot of people, be they bronies or not, that read horribly written stories and like them for the idea, or cliche, or whatever. as it stands, the only way to fix said problem is write better fics so that people can see what is truly good, no? still, it is sad that bad fics will be put on the same pedestal as good ones, and hopefully this will be change. besides, im sure people will eventually realize what good writing is versus bad writing, right?.....right?!
293840
*shrugs* Like I said earlier, I don't feed the trolls.
Anyway, Carmine's rant pretty much deserved a response as mature as the rant was. Don't get me wrong. There are stories that are shitty. But that means that if he knows this....he probably shouldn't be coming here if he hates that fact. I have seen some truly shitty works before by writers who despite having a good grasp of grammar, spelling, and punctuation, produce truly awful fics. After seeing a handful of the fics of said writer, I stopped reading those fics. If Carmine feels the entire site is like that, he has two options. One: Stop coming to the site altogether. Otherwise he will have to deal with this issue. Two: Simply put, don't bother looking at the feature box and just use the browsing feature instead. That would eliminate his entire issue.
293915 The same can be said about you. If you dislike his rants, don't come.
293930
Fair enough. The difference is that when I came here I didn't know what I was going to wind up saying. I'm not even sure why I got a notification for one of his blog posts simply because I happened to like one or two of his older works. o.O
I'm still wondering why AB's 'The Immortal Game' didn't last long in the featured box
294042 Whoops, a good fic in the featured box? BETTER SPAM MORE SHITFICS TO TAKE ITS PLACE.
294047
I wrote a crappy fic on purpose (tho I tried to use proper grammar) and it hasn't gotten featured yet. Actually, NONE of my stuff has gotten featured.
Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
293762
And the fact that 293748 is here just makes it worse.
294780 *insert evil cackle here*
294788
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m77pkjcBxd1rukwtao3_1280.png
294780 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png
294799 Dat bug e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/love/lust/aroused.gif
295214
295241 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
295329
295339 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png
295463
295488 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
295623
Hold on. Sadfics are supposed to get a lot of traffic!? Then why isn't my story, A Waking Dragon, getting any traffic!?
It's extremely sad! Two characters are dead and someone's psyche breaks! What the hell is going on!? Why isn't that story popular for stupid reasons!?
295782 It's not cliche enough.
295786
Oh, your right, stupid me not doing the same thing everyone else and their dog is doing.
I never understood that. Isn't the point of fanfiction to bring these characters in directions we've never seen before? Sure, we've never seen this in the show, but we've seen it in other fanfics. Over, and over, and over again. Why would I want to read the same thing again?
295671 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png
295799
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/121/c/7/the_changeling_that_could_not_change_by_alsatianvdk-d4y7mht.png