What Makes Scootareader SPECIAL: A Gender Blog With a Title Definitely Not Inspired by Fallout 4 · 7:23pm Dec 5th, 2015
I know your gut says it's a girl, but there's no way a girl pony would wear a fedora. It's gotta be a guy.
So, this is one of those "label" blog posts. If you like categorizing people into these little tiny pie slices of what they do or do not fit into as far as how to view a person, then this blog is definitely for you, because you'll get a couple of pie slices out of this blog.
When meeting someone face to face, one of the easiest things to tell upon seeing them is whether they are male or female, generally speaking. This line gets blurred when it comes to internet socialization because suddenly, that whole concept of physical sex pertaining to a person's identity is actually quite nebulous and irrelevant. On FIMFiction, if you dig back far enough into my blog posts or exhaustively google search where and what I've posted, you may eventually realize that I am, in fact, a male. Of course, knowing that is wholly irrelevant when it comes to being an internet dweller, barring the fact that I am (sadly) not bombarded with requests from others asking to see my nude body. 
Honestly, with me stating it plainly like that, has it changed anything, really? Well, if it has changed anyone's outlook of me in the slightest, I consider that: a) pathetic, and b) shallow. I am still Scootareader, and another label to assign to me is silly, because I am still me with or without that label.
So, with that bit of trivia out of the way, let's move on to the meatier part of the discussion: Gender. Oh boy, we're going there. What is Scootareader's gender?
Once again, for anyone who has stalked me obsessively, you will already know the answer to this question: I am agender.
"Agender?" I hear everybody but that smug Tumblr person following me ask. "What's that?" That, of course, is my claim to special snowflakedom.
No, "agender" does not mean "asexual." Those are two starkly different ideas. Asexual means you do not desire a particular sex--sometimes coupled with lack of sexual desire, though asexuality definitely doesn't mean you don't want to have sex. You simply don't find sexual desire in looking at a person's body parts, more or less--male or female or anything in between.
Being agender, alternatively, means that you don't feel male, female, or anything in between. Similar to asexual meaning "no sexual preference," agender means "no gender preference." We understand as a progressive society at this point that gender is a mental construct that differs from person to person and has no bearing on physical appearance, sexual desire, or state of mind, right? Good.
So, for lack of a defining gender, I am whatever my physical makeup makes me, right? Well, I don't care either way. As far as I can tell, my being male does not impact my desire to wear certain clothes, or say certain things, or hang out with certain crowds. I do just enough to not stick out because I'm not a total shut-in and I don't want there to be a reason for people to look at me and say, "That Scootareader kid is fucking weird," on the streets. Call me a boy, call me a girl, call me a thing--yes, you can refer to me as an "it," and that is honestly the most correct pronoun--and it won't bother me. In fact, it doesn't matter what you call me because I don't see myself as fully reflective of any specific pronoun. Obviously, because I have guy parts, I'm usually referred to as a "he," and I'm fine with that. I know some people would be bothered by this, and I am either lucky that I'm agender and don't give a shit or I just don't give a shit regardless of my gender.
I am also androgynous. Ooh, another new term. It means that I sort of toe the line between looking male and female physically, where if I tried hard enough, I'd definitely look like a bona fide girl. The blurring of that line is evident in that I have been catcalled several times by douches in cars, though my responding in a semi-deep voice typically gets them to speed away fairly quickly.
So, have I ever wanted to be a girl? Eh, I've toyed with the idea. My first chance to "act" like a girl was when I picked up World of Warcraft in my young teenage years, and it was sort of liberating to find out that no one could even remotely guess who I was. I had gender dysphoria throughout most of my teenage years, until... oh, about 4 years ago now, when I first heard the term "agender," read about it, and decided that the description fit me to a T. Prior to that, I couldn't decide if I was a straight male or a transgender lesbian, because I thought I had to pick one side or the other and neither side felt right.
Has being agender ever caused me problems? Sort of. I can't say that I've been hit on by gay guys that often, though I have known a few and they have confessed feelings for me at some point or another after the friendly talks got more personal. The biggest adversity, I think, has been from my own family; apparently, my three siblings (two brothers, one sister) all mutually agreed that I was almost certainly gay all the way up until they heard I'd gotten a girl pregnant (just a scare; I don't have any kids yet). As far as I know, they still don't know that I identify as agender. It's just not something that they need to concern themselves with, as that's more of a private "it's just how I see me" kind of thing.
Which brings me to another problem: Why do people think that my being agender means I want to get with guys? I've grappled with my sexuality in the past, but I am about 97% certain that I'm heterosexual; the only way to know for certain is to put a dick in my mouth and/or butt--and no, that's not an offer to anyone. The only body that I find attractive is a woman's body, as much as I hate not being able to find the same beauty in everyone. I am totally attracted to personalities, but the male body is what turns me off. I can be totally into a conversation, but the moment I see anything defining as "male," I nope the fuck outta there.
So, in the end, am I hoping this blog post changed anything? Not really, no. You guys have been talking to me just fine before this great revelation; it's not like I've been hoodwinking anyone. I've always acted a bit ambiguous about myself as far as physical appearance because my physical appearance and my mental state concerning my physical appearance are both somewhat ambiguous.
In closing, read this comic. It's a great reminder to myself that I'm not actually a special snowflake, and, in fact, my feelings are not nearly as uncommon as I had initially thought they were.
Source. Scootareader: 1. Tumblr: 0.
i.imgur.com/CBvwTWD.png
3595098
What does it mean!
3595102
Teal deer = Tl;dr = too long; didn't read.
People always mistake me for being a dude in real life, even though I am a girl. I know how you feel. I don't really care though. I'm kind of used to it by now.
Sorry, m8. This was too long for me, and with ADD... Well, you get the picture.
3595109
You're not my friend anymore!
3595111
Hrm. I think you're pretty cute.
3595117
No, I don't.
3595175 Well thanks. I appreciate the compliment.
I don't care what gender you are, mate. Your gender is coolness. That's all that matters is that you're a way cool person.
As for playing as a guy or a girl in different video games, I tend to play as girls for the simple reason that if I have to look at someone's butt the entire time I'm playing a game, if rather it be a cute one, and most male characters are not cute.
I did get banned from a game once, for some stupid reason. I was playing a female character, and this guy started following me around, asking me things like A/S/L?
I replied "too young for you, female in game, the internet"
He challenged me to a few duels, got pissy when I won all of them, and then said we should meet up and go on a date. I told him I was only interested in girls, and he started going off on me like how DARE I be a lesbian, it's not the Christian way! I reported him for harassment, told him "I'm a guy you idiot, now leave me alone" and then I left the game. Tried to log on again the next day, but I had a two year ban. Haven't played since, and that was five years ago.
But yeah, my point from that story is that I don't much care for labels either. I'm a guy, who doesn't like looking at other guys' penises, and finds girls attractive. I also love MLP, Star Wars, CoD, Fallout, and every book I've ever read (especially Hitchhiker's Guide, Red Dwarf, and Eragon). I'm not simply a gamer or a brony or a bibliophile, I'm all that and more, and I just laugh at people that try to put me down for enjoying what I do.
3595175
We were friends?
i actually read this!
and it actually makes sense
and also, "they/them" pronouns are commonly used for nonbinary persons
Is it fine if I use they/them pronouns when referring to you? It would be less confusing (and seem less offensive) than "it"
3595383
Sounds like a game community you shouldn't be a part of.
3595386
Yes, and you've ruined everything!
3595407
Sure. Whatever you think fits me.
3595425
Aw, I almost feel bad. No, wait, just gas.
Would you share pics of your nude body? As the lack of said question is making you sad.
3595468
No, I won't send those kinds of pictures... but it can't hurt to ask!
And that's why you're sharing it on the internet, right?
Also, I really wish labels could work. Dang you agenders and homosexual transgenders and everything else for not letting me label everyone with just one word. You're so inconsiderate.
What really amazes me is how gender can affect your taste in clothes, like women like dresses and skirts and men don't, but then women are still fine with pants. But then they are transexual women who, when they realize they're women, start really hating pants. Then there are heterosexual, biological and mentally men who still enjoy putting on dresses too! Why is this even a thing? Having a biological preference to clothing like this makes no sense at all, but it's a thing.
Then how come being gay is a thing too? You'd think that'd be one of the first things evolution would 'weed' out, since it's very contradictory to passing on genes, but it exists and even has been observed in nature. I really wish some scientists would go and figure this out.
3595849
Don't dox me plz.
It all depends on how heavily someone thinks their gender influences their life. It doesn't really affect me at all.
I just wear jeans and T-shirt all the time, though I've thought about wearing a skirt before and thought it would be nice to have that clothing option available as opposed to just shorts unless I want people to look at me funny. Kilts are a no-go because those are all shitty colors, I like sunny vibrant colors and I have enough wherewithal to know that I shouldn't wear a skirt unless I'm looking to be noticed.
It's how God punishes the sinners that haven't sinned until He makes them gay.
post nudes
3595899
And what if I did?
You said I can call you what ever I want. I'm still thinking about what that means for me.
Actually I think I'll call you maybe
3596159 I'm calling Scootareader Sir Real Coolness. Because they are a knight of many wondrous words.
3596734
Because being neither is still symptomatic of something. As I've pointed out, there's certain behavior that I've exhibited throughout my lifetime that has confused me because I didn't understand why it was or was not something that I consciously chose to do. I thought that genders were wholly binary and figured mine was just because of the parts I got. When I got old enough to realize that I didn't act like a guy and I definitely wasn't like a girl, I thought maybe I was bouncing between genders or something, so whenever I wasn't acting like a guy, I had to be acting like a girl, but I didn't think I ever acted like a girl. See the dilemma?
I had very specific behaviors, and the choice of "neither," while correct, is still not descriptive of the symptoms of my mental state. I don't feel male, female, or anything in between, and that in itself is descriptive.
Plus, it feels edgy as fuck when someone asks me, "What gender are you?" and I respond with, "None." Unf. That's even worse than labeling myself agender.
tl;dr Scoots is a faggot.
I already fuckin' knew that.
It's interesting that you noted, when discovering anonymity through video gaming, that it was a liberating experience being basically gender neutral.
That was exactly how I felt when I started online gaming when I was around, say, nine. For a while, I actually would tell people that I was female because I felt more comfortable being considered and addressed as such. My voice was fairly high so I could get away with it.
As I grew up, I managed to feel pretty much gender neutral; a comfortable median state where I'm happy as a physical male.
Out of interest, what made you think I looked slightly feminine in real life from our conversation?
3599544
Choice of words, primarily. I seem pretty good at following my gut to discover gems of information.
3599642 And what about my words are feminine?
3599680
I can't pick out portions of it. It's a general feeling.
3640870
I actually missed what you did there.
3641499
No.
3642515
Ooh, now I get it.