Behold the traditional national Whacking Day, in its glory

Greeting fellow hungry horse enthusiasts! King of Beggars here with the salivating news!

It's American Whacking Day and we're going to drive those turkeys (and possibly the Irish, but 'tis all in good fun!) out of our cities and into our gullets (maybe not the Irish)! I'm just taking a moment to wish everyone who's celebrating this day with the traditional horse-blessings.

So what's the reason for this holiday? Why eating, and the inversion of traditional gender roles (think about who cooks the turkey in your family)! Tonight as you menfolk sit at home, secure and warm by the fire, nursing sore bellies and sleepy children, be thankful for your women, who venture into the cold and frozen night to battle and fight and even kill for cheap consumer electronics. As you watch MST3K episodes and fight the urge to drift off to dreamland, for fear of waking up to an angry warrior's cry of "DID YOUR FAT ASS FALL ASLEEP WHILE I WAS OUT THERE DYING FOR NEW CELLPHONES!?" try to think of all the little things you're thankful for. Not the big things like your job or family or any of that. Just the little things, because the big things are what make life, and the little things are what make life tolerable.

Be thankful for Take-A-Penny-Leave-A-Penny trays. Be thankful for that guy who always nods to you on the bus to work. Be thankful for that time you stubbed your toe and it didn't hurt that much. Be thankful for that satisfying little KSHK noise every time you open a can of coke.

Thanks for reading.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, a safe drive home, a non-lethal Black Friday, and I hope you'll all join me next Thanksgiving.

Please be excited!

P.S. Possible Christmas surprise coming, but we'll just have to see!

Comments

[TheStratovarian]

And a happy day to you as well, may the muse you have, live in interesting times!

[Pyro The Reader]

YEAH!

[Posted]

I went to get the mail today and nothing was there.

[Winter_Solstice]

Well said, and thank you!

[Luna Aeterna Solutae]

I do like the satisfying "Ksht" sound of a can opening. Or the "thwomp" sound of a bottlecap snapping off. Or the crack-snap of a plastic twist-cap.

I may be an alcoholic.