• Member Since 21st Nov, 2012
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Superbowl


A big fan of cartoon ponies and an even bigger fan of cartoon humans with pony names.

More Blog Posts5

  • 216 weeks
    "Signs of Life"

    ...could've been an even more interesting episode than the 100th episode we did actually get.

    Nevermind, just wanted to start in a wacky way.

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    3 comments · 282 views
  • 246 weeks
    So, as promised, mah plans!

    To be honest, for a couple days I just forgot that I was going to make this blog post :twilightblush:

    Aaaanyway. "Infected With Your Magic" ended on a sequel hook, and I do already have the basis of Cinch's next adventure (a proper adventure this time - returning to Equestria) in my head, but it's not as clear as the first two stories, so I'll need some time to sit on it.

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    4 comments · 276 views
  • 247 weeks
    In case anyone missed the sequel to "She's Awful"

    I apologize to my followers and everyone who's been already aware of the sequel to "She's Awful" for a redundant blog post, but I figured there oughta be at least a small number of people who read the first story, added it to some sort of tracking/favorite bookshelf (which, if I understand correctly, makes you receive

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    5 comments · 355 views
  • 283 weeks
    A better Cinch story than mine!

    Everyone go check out "Agitate the System" if you haven't already! :raritystarry: It's a great little one-shot that is much better than my story at making Cinch seem sympathetic, which was my original goal with my story before I got sidetracked and shifted the focus. :twilightblush: So in a way that story is what I failed to do,

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    2 comments · 403 views
  • 292 weeks
    Regarding a sequel to "She's Awful"

    So, quite a large proportion of the commens to the story seem to indicate people wanting a sequel. Whether or not it is because they feel that "She's Awful" didn't do enough with the character of Cinch or just want more of her interactions with Equestrian sensibilities. :raritywink:

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    40 comments · 472 views
Nov
12th
2015

Regarding a sequel to "She's Awful" · 4:23am Nov 12th, 2015

So, quite a large proportion of the commens to the story seem to indicate people wanting a sequel. Whether or not it is because they feel that "She's Awful" didn't do enough with the character of Cinch or just want more of her interactions with Equestrian sensibilities. :raritywink:

While editing this story, before even publishing the first chapter, I entertained some ideas for a possible sequel. I do that a lot with my unfinished projects, as it often gives me the drive to finish them so I can get to the sequel :rainbowlaugh: To be completely blunt with you, though, the plans were never really serious and I was just considering writing some sort of comedy/parody and making it a non-canon sequel just for fun.

Now that I'm seriously considering writing a proper sequel though, those non-proper ideas just won't leave my head. :derpyderp1:

I have several things that I really want to happen in the sequel, but I just don't have enough of an idea of how I could possibly go about bringing it all together. And I seriously need to tone the existing ideas down a bit, if I even keep them, because as I imagine it right now, the sequel could turn out to be more of an adventure type story with way less focus on Cinch's character and a jarring tonal shift from the original. And I don't really want that. So, needless to say, there's a lot of thinking I have to do.

Heck, I even dropped those little hints in the original story, like Celestia and Luna recognizing Cinch, and I haven't actually thought those things through either! :raritydespair:

And another thing, equally important. One way or another there's going to be a bit of a time skip between the events of "She's Awful" and the sequel. Maybe it could get into the immediate aftermath in the beginning but the meat of it will definitely be happening after some time. For that reason I really want to hold off with the sequel until I see the finale of season five and determine if it changes anything in the status quo, so that if Cinch returns to Equestria, things in there align with canon. And I think it's pretty inevidable that she returns to Equestria. Without that, I can't explore the pony counterpart! Plus, hey, her trying to cope with more of Equestria and maybe getting influenced by the ponies is probably the most interesting things that can happen.

So all in all, a sequel's definitely happening, but probably not right away, and most likely only after season five ends. I think there's enough amazing stories on this site so that even the people who want the sequel the most can have enough to occupy their minds in terms of fanfiction! And I, meanwhile, will probably write something else short and easy, while of course constantly trying to think of proper ideas for the sequel to "She's Awful".

Thank you all again for taking interest! :twilightsmile:

Report Superbowl · 472 views · Story: She's Awful · #sequel
Comments ( 40 )

You could have the CPA Shadowbolts visit Equestria.

3537187 One of the more out there ideas I originally had was a sort of field trip to Equestria, heh. That would take the focus way off Cinch herself, though. But characters other than her going to Equestria is something I'm considering. I just have to keep it relevant to her personal character development as that IMO should still be the main point of the story.

You could indeed have either the mane six from CHS or the shadowbolts visit Equestria. Though, if you do, could I recommend this for the shadowbolts' personalities?: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/296435/lets-go-shadowbolts

3537192 How about Sunset returning to Equestria to make amends towards Celestia for her actions?

3537194 I haven't actually checked that story out yet, despite stumbling across it a time or two. No idea why, I love the Shadowbolts. But unless I completely abandon my current scattered ideas things probably won't go down that path.

3537196 Based on the cut content from Friendship Games, it seems like something that they might touch upon in the fourth movie. I know it's not usually a problem for fanfic authors but I'd really prefer not to go into anything that might happen in canon in the future.

3537205 Ah. Darn. Well, your call. Still recommend the fic though. Love their characterizations in it. Definitely my headcanon for the five.:D

3537205 Personally, Cinch got off too lightly in my opinion. She just walked away without any repercussions save for a damaged reputation, this makes it the second villain in the movies that got away.

3537207 Absolutely reading the fic as soon as I can!

3537216 Personally I very much liked the fact that not much changed for Cinch after the movie's ending, she just realized her shit wasn't going to fly and went away. It was a big part of what made me write the story, the fact that after all those events Cinch was still going to be there, interacting with other people who know what happened from time to time, and such. She seemed... I dunno, somewhat approachable as far as villains go. In the sense that it was possible to approach her, not that she particularly welcomed people approaching, heh.

I don't think I'm gonna punish her in the sequel either way though.

3537226 Speaking of story recommendations here's one: Of Wondercolts and Shadowbolts. Each member of the teams interact with each other in each chapter.

3537230 I'm following that one! There was a chapter where Sunny Flare confronted Cinch, I think I left a comment under that chapter saying I almost wrote a story about Cinch myself :rainbowlaugh: I also remember leaving a comment about how Sugarcoat didn't feel like Sugarcoat in her first appearance.

3537238 Well the author wanted to get a feel for the character so you'd expect mistakes to happen.

3537243 He got the feel for her quick enough but the first chapter with her was definitely off. Sugarcoat was more robotic-official sounding than just blunt and simple.

3537244 Her name is a bit of an oxymoron as well.

3537246 She might've developed her personality out of pure spite for her parents' choice of name :derpytongue2:

Also, we totally need a chapter devoted to Sparkle crying over a bowl of ice cream the day after Cinch left. :derpytongue2:
Just because that's totally what it felt like would happen after Cinch left.

3537273 Or she could go into another lesson zero-like psychosis over the fact that she has just completely failed to indoctrinate someone into the Friendship Cult :trollestia:

3537276 I love the way you think! :pinkiehappy:
Speaking of cult, you have another follower :pinkiecrazy:

3537280 Hehe.
Oi, if I knew how easy it was to amass followers around here, I would've done this ages ago. Another story or two and I can use my "teenage army" to take over the world!

3537251 I also wonder if Sour Sweet is suffering from some sort of mental disorder.

3537305 Probably. That girl ain't right. Although Jay's interpretation of her in "Of Wndercolts and Shadowbolts" seems plausible, in the movie she genuinely creeped me out.

3537361 Nah, Pinkamena in full on crazy mode is scarier. And considering the season finale synopsis there is a good chance we will see her again.

3537364 Dunno, Pinkamena actually affects me less. It's probably because she's straight-forward on her own and I never remember her when I just think about Pinkie. With Sour though, it was hard to tell what was the real her, like both of her extremes were just acts. While Pinkie might be more scary in a sense that you'd probably be afraid for your well-being, Sour, to me, is much creepier because she feels like one of those IRL insects that are shaped and colored like something (like a twig or another insect entirely) but actually are just masquerading.

3537367 If you ever read (shudders) Cupcakes then you would understand why.

3537370 Well I know what that's about and I've seen the animation, I just can't take it seriously for some reason :derpytongue2:

Okay, so... Since I've enjoyed the "She's Awful" story really much, I believe, I'll bring myself to write a proper and detailed comment to this blog post of yours.

First of all, I once again want to thank you for a brilliant job you've done on giving us all a second look on Chinch character. The look from inside, to be precise. Any character becomes ten times as sinteresting when the reader learns that there is much more to them than meets the eye. And one more important detail about principal Chinch is the fact that she is a woman, not a teenage girl. She has seen the world for what it is, she has her ideals and thoughts already formed in her mind instead of still exploring the surroundings for gathering them. That has been shown perfectly well and I trully enjoyed witnessing it.

As for the sequel. Yes. Absolutely. That must happen. Why? Well, the first and most obvious reason comes from the fact of how perfectly well you have opened principal Cinch to all of us. You have made us interested in her character, and naturally, we all would enjoy observing her more, seeing her reactions, reading through her thoughts and feelings. The other reason would be that the story didn't feel... complete. The contrary, I must admit. It felt like an overture to something bigger... something really great. And that something, of course, is going to be the sequel.

As for the ideas, I find it really wise of you to decide to wait until the end of Season 5. As much as deciding to make a certain time gap between the events in your story and it's sequel. However, there can be one problem with that: as you've mentioned in your first chapter, the students were on the verge of rebeling against principal Cinch. If you are to make a time gap, you will have to explain how the situation was handled. Unless, of course, you're planning to start the sequel with Cinch having already lost her job and everything else, which would not be appropriate.

As for the return to Equestria, there is a wide field for the imagination. The first thing that comes to my mind is the idea of the portal naturally opening only once every 30 moons (if I am not mistaken) actually having a reason. And so, forcing it to stay open constantly like that takes it's toll and the cataclysm emerges between the two words, causing Cinch, along with some other humans, getting sucked into Equestria without a way to return unless it is dealt with. That could be a perfect reason to use that "magic weapon" by empowering it with a newfound frienship between humans and ponies. But then again, it's just a random idea... still the one worthy of your thoughts.

And a few finishing strokes... I have to say that refraining from focusing on Chinch's character any longer would not be a good course of action. I understand that you want to turn your story into an adventure, but there is a compromise... You can always write parts of the story from Cinch's perspective, reflecting her thoughts and feelings the same way you did in "She's Awful". And then you can right the other parts of your story from the third person view or from someone else's perspective, focusing more on the adventure topic.

I hope you have found my comment helpful and interesting to read. I do hope it helps you with your sequel, which I have no doubt is going to be amazing. I am certainly looking forward to it.

3537393 Well someone's enthusiastic :pinkiecrazy: First of all I want to say that the "focusing a bit less on Cinch and leaning more toward Adventure" thing is more of a leftover from the original comedy sequel ideas. I'm definitely not dropping Cinch's point of view and will probably not have anything told from anyone else's perspective or just from a completely independent narrator. What I largely mean when I still think about shifting focus is that this story was almost 100% about Cinch's inner thoughts on everything, while the sequel might also add in some external conflict or something else that could possibly make the reader wonder what will happen to things other than Cinch. But she's still going to be the centerpoint, otherwise it'd be pointless. What I have to figure out before anything else is what to do with her character and how to do it.

About the time skip, you might remember Twilight mentioning that Sunset Shimmer and Cadence have talked to the students and calmed them down a bit. Plus it's safe to assume that Cadence's help in the first weeks after the games should result in any attitudes brewing in the school being placated. I'll probably touch on this one way or another, you're correct about that.

As for the portal idea, I already have somewhat of an idea of why she would be back to Equestria. Whatever the case though I really want to avoid some sort of big epic crisis as the driving force of the plot. At most, some distressing circumstance in Cinch's life, but nothing like what's been happening in the movies. I'll leave the big stuff to canon in this case.

Anyway, thanks for your huge comment and the vote of confidence! It's certainly inspiring. Hopefully when I start writing I don't forget how to turn on "Cinch mode".

3537399 I have offered the portal idea because of the "Adventure" tag you've mentioned. But, of course, it doesn't have to be something big like that. It could be merely a fact of Cinch having an overwhelming stress and needing to get away from it all, figuring out that Equestria would be the best choice.

On the other handhoof, it will also be interesting to witness the consequences of her final and really passionate speech to Princess Twillight. I'll be really looking forward to that. As much as I'll be looking forward to the metaphorical battle between the ideals of love and friendship and Cinch's cynical and practical view on how the world works.

3537402 One thing for certain, we probably won't get to see the exact moments after Cinch left and what happened to Twilight or what Celestia and Luna might've talked to her about. Unless she, or anyone else brings this up in the future, Cinch has no way of knowing, and as I said I don't wanna betray the original story's persistent viewpoint and suddenly add scenes without Cinch. However at this point it's not even guaranteed that Cinch will meet Twilight again. For all we know, I could make her accidentally meet Celestia who would probably be able to defend Twilight's position with a lot more confidence, even if Twilight is supposed to be the biggest expert. But again, undecided.

3537407 Sometimes, I personally enjoy to just sit down and start writing the story while only having the vague ideas about how it's going to go. It can be really interesting to watch your own typing leading you further and further, as if you're not typing your story, but reading somebody else's one.

3537413 I tend to go waaaay into stream of consciousness mode and ramble without structure. I need a lot of practice before I can afford to just type without some planning. Besides, I like having all kinds of little bits and bobs of foreshadowing or details that become relevant later. You can see a bunch of that in this story. Some of it's accidental, but a lot was planned.

3537419 "What I'm suggesting's very simple", to quote principal Cinch herself. When you have trouble planning things through, just start writing and look at what your "stream of consciousness" will bring. Perhaps, that would be excatly what you need. If not, you can always cross it out.

Yes, and I feel like a musical number would be appropriate at some point. That is what I can help you with and would really like to. However, if you'd like that, it will have to be done in advance, since I'll be summoned to the military service for a year, starting with Dec 2.

3537423 That advice seems rather sound, after all most of the dialogues were written as a stream of consciousness and while they needed heavy adjusting, I feel that stuff like Twi and CInch's original dialogue for example turned out to lead pretty realistically and interestingly towards the outcome that I wanted to happen.

As for musical numbers, I actually never liked fanfics having those. It just has no point without the real music and the spectacle that can only occur on video. In my opinion, at least.

3537427 Well, during the read of a good story, like yours, for example, imagination behinds the screen that show us all of the events happening in the story as if it was a movie. That's exactly what is frequently called "losing yourself in a book". The same is applied to the musical numbers. Knowing the tune isn't necessary for the reader to get the impression of the song. Moreover, just as everyone can find a nice musical number enjoyable, everyone can enjoy a nice poem.

3537432 Well it's not something I could ever do - for example I always hate it when the lyrics in such written musical numbers don't adhere to a super obvious rhytm because I just can't imagine how a song sounds then and have to pretty much skip it all, grumpily.
And I don't really care for poetry to be completely honest :applejackunsure: This is just not my cup of tea at all.

3537434 Perhaps, I could give you an example of a nicely written musical number. You see, I do love thinking of the new songs for My Little Pony and (mostly) Littlest Pet Shop, but I have neither means nor skill of composing music on computer. But, I believe, I'm pretty good at writing lyrics. So, I have to leave my songs in the text format, like this.

EDIT: Surely, such a format on it's own wouldn't do for the story. Usually, the musical numbers in the stories go piece by piece, mixed with the description of the things happening during them, and also the thoughts and feelings of the characters involved. In your case, that would be Cinch's thoughts and feelings.

3537438 I could see that working for someone, but still it's definitely not for me. Sorry, my mind on musical numbers in my stories is set in stone. :unsuresweetie:

3537442 Well, there certainly was no harm in trying, and I do not regret a single message I've exchanged with you. On the contrary, I find this discussion very interesting, and I can only hope it'll help you with getting more inspiration and ideas for the sequel.

3537446 Yeah, same here, and I'm sure it will in one way or another.

Dan

Not so much people wanting a sequel as much as the first got a fast, less-than-satisfactory end going by the old Three Act structure.

3538432 Well I mean wanting more is wanting more! I firmly stand by the original ending and believe that the story works as intended as a self-contained piece, but hey, I left the end open enough to be able to continue it too, so why not!

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