YEAH, IT MATTERS

Illya Leonov proves he is the internet's classiest troll. (Read the description.)

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[Tempestus]

What, pray tell, brought this up chap?

[Yalwin Khales]

What if I told you there was a dead horse in my basement?

[FanOfMostEverything]

I can't help but imagine Gummy delivering this dialogue.

Dang it, now I want to write Would It Matter if We Weren't? Because existentialist Gummy.

[Illya Leonov]

3490010 Be wary of what you speak into existence!

[The Descendant]

Speaking of dead horses, this is not entirely related, but a fun story for Halloween nevertheless:

I was doing a Civil War re-enactment in Ohio. There were about a hundred cavalry soldiers at the re-enactment, parading around on their mounts, carbines and sabers jangling merrily as we poor foot soldier tromped back and forth.

As we were going into line of battle for the third and final skirmish, there was a heart-rending whinny, and behind me the back legs of a horse whipped through the air and a human form went flinging to the ground. The man lay there groaning, and the horse lay there thrashing on the ground. The whole Union line turned to face the spectacle. It was obvious what had happened at first sight. The horse had stepped in a gopher or groundhog hole. Its leg was clearly broken, snapped like a twig. It was awful to watch. I don't think I'll ever forget the sight and sound of it.

The man had cracked ribs and probably a collapsed long. But when the vet was called (all big re-enactments are required to have a veterinarian on hand as well as an ambulance) he simply brought the black leather case over with him and prepared the needle. I couldn't see the owner, but I thought I saw the vet nod towards the ambulance. My unit was called into the battle, but I looked back just as the vet administered the drugs... ending the horse's suffering.

The fight was a big one, and it lasted about and hour and forty minutes. I remember because I was the first one into the Confederate works. It was hot, dry work and on our way out my unit broke away from the rest of the units in our regiment and headed for some water. As we did we passed by where the unhappy scene had occurred earlier. With all of the soldier and spectators watching the fight, I imagined that part of the village would be abandoned.

"It's kinda gross that they would include a dummy like that," I heard a woman say. "Especially one that looks so real. Shouldn't it be closer to where the battle is, too?"

I looked at the soldier on my left, and then on my right, and they knew exactly what we were about to see—

—a young woman talking on her cell phone, watching and taking pictures as her two kids, probably about three and five years old played on the "prop" dead horse.

None of us said a word.

Happy Halloween.

[FanOfMostEverything]

3490029
I rarely ever am, which tends to make for very interesting D&D games.

[horizon]

3490086
I'm kinda tempted to ask about putting this in Never The Final Word as commentfic nonfiction, the same way I did with RobCakeran53's story about record collecting.

[Illya Leonov]

3490126 I would be honored, but do not take that as an imperative. It is a very short piece, and a bit esoteric.

[The Descendant]

3490126
Sure. Let me polish it up a touch, first.