Feeling a bit down. Story still going, just need to vent a little. · 1:52am Oct 15th, 2015
Due to a conversation with a friend of mine, I was reminded about the biggest failure with my life, and it has me a bit depressed. SO I'm venting about it here because amazingly, more of you random guys give a crap about me than anyone on Facebook. Don't take that as a negative comment, I like you guys, you rock! My IRL friends are apparently just jerks at heart...
Anyways, if you ever wondered why my self insert character Meep is an astrophysicist, it's because I wanted to be an astronaut. Not in that 12 year old "I want to be X, now STFU mom I'm trying to play COD 82481!" way ether. Since I was 13 I actually read real scientific journals about space, and engineering, and damn near everything. I actually went to a Space Center and every chance I could I would participate in simulated missions. I have been on the Vomit Commit, a plane which can simulate microgravity for short periods. I was actually learning what I would need to know, and doing what training I could. I was serious about it. I wasn't bullshitting, and my parents knew it.
I got my pilot's license before I got my driver's license. That's right, I can fly single engine aircraft, and I have been able to since before I could drive a four wheeled ground craft. I went to college and grabbed a degree in physical science because that's actually a requirement for being NASA flight crew, and I got that degree at 22. I was realy, genuinely actually working towards becoming a NASA pilot.
Here's where all my hopes and dreams die.
It's not realy a requirement, but NASA prefers to get their pilots from the Air Force. Test pilots from the Air Force are their prefer candidates, because they are... to use an MLP explanation, would you rather have a random Ponyvillian flying your space craft, or a Wonderbolt? Since all NASA pilots need 1000 hours of pilot-in-command experience flying a jet aircraft, it's basically Air Force or Air Line. Screw Airlines.
Now see, to join the military... well just about anyone passes that test. They ant grunts to throw at the enemy and are not very picky. But pilots? Oh boy the requirements go way up there! But hey, no problem! I already could fly, I was in great shape, I am a smart cookie. No problem!
Problem.
There is a physiological exam. I am not actually sane. Turns out I have mild schizophrenia, it's no that debilitating to me, but my imagination is very vivid and well... It makes me a good writer since things I imagine play out like movies for me (with sound and music scores even). But it means no Air Force for me. That sucks, but it's no biggie right? Just become a Air Line pilot and get the XP there, right?
Wrong.
NASA requires the same physiological prefect health as the Air Force. I can never get a job there ever, through no fault of my own, but by a flaw in my biology. Fuck. See that's always been my luck, I work as hard as I can and fail for a bullshit reason, unless there is no real gains to be had to me succeeding.
There are other places too for being an astronaut. Like SpaceX. But, well, you guessed it. I'm disqualified due to the brain stupids. I cant even get a job as ground crew for reasons of brain stupids. I know, I have tried. I've personally talked to HR directors. No dice.
Know what's worse? I cant even get a normal job because of brain stupids. I have a physiological record now, it pops up on background checks. No one wants to hire the crazy person, even if they seem normal in person. While it's illegal to discriminate on issues like this... Lolz, good luck enforcing that law! Companies are not actually required to report why they chose not to hire someone. That law is meaningless.
In short, following my dream literately ruined my entire life, making me dependent on my girlfriend (soon to be wifu though) because even after 8 years of daily job application submissions... 4 interviews. No hires.
All I got now is other life dream of writing a story that people enjoy enough to talk about, Kerbal, and watching stuff like this on youtube while crying tears of depression and rage.
Vent over.
... I'm sorry to hear that... if it's any consultation, at least you have someone like your gf that can help you through the times. Seriously, as a person who can't really TALK to people, or have anyone to talk to, you're extremely lucky. I may be farther ahead in the career path, but you sound leaps and bounds ahead of me emotionally. I'm alone. I have, in total, only 10 people in my everyday live who actively know my name. And there are days when I don't talk or see most of them. Excuse my own ranting, but I'm really trying to cheer you up. Even if it doesn't sound like it.
I've read your fimfiction stories, some of them, and you're a fucking good author. If I were your gf, I'd be fucking ecstatic to support them... I'm not your gf and I'm male but I hope the sentiment is there! You have a lot going for you even if you don't realize it, I wish I could write as good as you, I wish I had anyone in my life that cared...
I may already have a job, but I'm certain you've got more going for you than I do.
*Hugs*
You gave me so many feels right there, I'm truly sorry that your not able to follow your dreams because of a simple neurological oddity. Though the fact that others wont hire you, and I've personally worked with far less qualified "people", makes me truly angry
If I might be of the slightest bit of help, you said that your vivid imagination makes you an excellent writer (and I would agree), have you considered becoming an independent writer? I know there are those who make local publications as independent writers, and there are sites that also make paid web publications, or what about script writers? make a script, get it turned into a real movie or TV show?
I'm not sure if you've tried to do any of this before, but I feel I should at least try to help some how.
3471090 It's less about a job and more that I actualy had a plan for my life, a goal, a dream. I didn't care abut the pay. I just wanted to get to look out a window and see the Earth in the rear view mirror. I wanted to know that I could have the biggest one up story of all time. Like this sketch here shows: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBJ6yptGqm4
I'm sorry you dont have someone, I'd fix that if I could, your gender is irrelevant to me. Demisexual, I'm attracted to the person in the meat, not the meat. As in, biology is 100% irrelevant to me. I admit that my luck in that field is good.
Still, I blew about... 80k on college. Maybe more. That's basically doomed me since I cant gain employment.
That said I am glad you enjoy my stories :) They are my warms up before i write an original story. May I ask which one you like the most and why?
3471132 I do get a little freelance work like that, but unless you write for something popular, you wont make much, so I'm writing things here to warm up and test ideas to get a good solid novel done :)
I do earn a bit of money by doing custom furnature. I'm not so bad with wood working.
things like this piss me off, somebody (you in this case) that has so much ambition can't get a job because a bunch of asswad dickholes can't see past their man boobs and freak out because what? biological disadvantage? those little shits.
anyways, I honestly wouldn't know how your predicament feels, but I do wish this isn't a huge dampener for you.
oh hey, I guess I'm not the only one, yay!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You ever try the whole 'Apply repeatedly until they finally let you try for it to make you shut up' idea? Worth a shot at the very least.
3830253 I did. It docent matter. Strict rules are strict. It's like pre-1990s female soldiers. No combat for you, period.