The first brony

When the right vertuous Edward Wotton and I were at the Emperours Court togither, wee gave our selves to learne horsemanship of Jon Pietro Pugliano, one that with great commendation had the place of an Esquire in his stable: and hee according to the fertilnes of the Italian wit, did not onely affoord us the demonstration of his practise, but sought to enrich our mindes with the contemplations therein, which he thought most precious. He said ... what a peerless beast the horse was, the one serviceable Courtier without flattery, the beast of most bewtie, faithfulnesse, courage, and such more, that if I had not beene a peece of a Logician before I came to him, I thinke he would have perswaded me to have wished myselfe a horse.

- Sir Philip Sidney, "An Apology for Poetry", 1583

Comments

[Super Trampoline]

Is this translated or modernized? It's remarkably readable.

[Illya Leonov]

There is Equestrian in the human spirit.

[Bad Horse]

3412302 The spelling is modernized. I'm going to switch it out and put the modern in this comment, because the original is pretty cool.

If you read it out loud, you'll see the original is more readable! It's spelled phonetically: wee, hee, peece, perswaded, unbleeved, souldiers, mooved .

Here's the full original:

When the right vertuous E.W. and I were at the Emperours Court togither, wee gave our selves to learne horsemanship of Jon Pietro Pugliano, one that with great commendation had the place of an Esquire in his stable: and hee according to the fertilnes of the Italian wit, did not onely affoord us the demonstration of his practise, but sought to enrich our mindes with the contemplations therein, which he thought most precious. But with none I remember mine eares were at any time more loaden, then when (either angred with slow paiment, or mooved with our learnerlike admiration) hee exercised his speech in the praise of his facultie. He said souldiers were the noblest estate of mankind, and horsemen the noblest of souldiers. He said they were the maisters of warre, and ornaments of peace, speedie goers, and strong abiders, triumphers both in Camps and Courts: nay to so unbleeved a point he proceeded, as that no earthly thing bred such wonder to a Prince, as to be a good horseman. Skill of government was but a Pedenteria, in comparison, then would he adde certaine praises by telling us what a peerless beast the horse was, the one serviceable Courtier without flattery, the beast of most bewtie, faithfulnesse, courage, and such more, that if I had not beene a peece of a Logician before I came to him, I thinke he would have perswaded me to have wished myselfe a horse.

and in modern spelling:

WHEN the right virtuous Edward Wotton and I were at the Emperor’s court together, we gave ourselves to learn horsemanship of John Pietro Pugliano, one that with great commendation had the place of an esquire in his stable; and he, according to the fertileness of the Italian wit, did not only afford us the demonstration of his practice, but sought to enrich our minds with the contemplations therein which he thought most precious. ... He said ... what a peerless beast the horse was, the only serviceable courtier without flattery, the beast of most beauty, faithfulness, courage, and such more, that if I had not been a piece of a logician before I came to him, I think he would have persuaded me to have wished myself a horse.

[GroaningGreyAgony]

I thought that Bronies went back considerably further than that:

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ca/Statuette_of_a_centaur.jpg/485px-Statuette_of_a_centaur.jpg

And hatred of Bronies not long after:

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2d/Centauromachy_Staatliche_Antikensammlungen_2640.jpg/551px-Centauromachy_Staatliche_Antikensammlungen_2640.jpg

[Shogoki]

Guy's got nothing on whoever built the Lakashmana Temple sculptures, circa 900 (or at least one of them). Can't even post the link cause I'm pretty sure is against the rules or something (it's even censored in wikipedia), let's just say his interest in small horses was much more in line with the brony community at large (or at least fimfiction's) than this guy's, and someone commissioned a statue to celebrate it.

Bronies: Making clop for longer than Luna lived on the moon.

[TheJediMasterEd]

Added later in a similar, but verifiably different hand--as if by a forger:

Wee begg you to understande that owr affections are in noe wai like thows of Lorde Melchett, who as all menn noe, is a great Tupper of Live Stocke, most especiallie Sheap.

Baa, Lord Melchett. Baa.

nextbiteoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/19c1d03c4dac324bafad0b57024db852.jpg

"Who--me?"

[ponichaeism]

3412379

If you read it out loud, you'll see the original is more readable! It's spelled phonetically: wee, hee, peece, perswaded, unbleeved, souldiers, mooved .

People overestimate how much English has changed over the centuries based solely on how it's spelled. Chaucer looks dense and impenetrable at first, but once you sound it out, it's very easy to pick up on what he's saying.

"When that April with his showers soothed
The drought of March had pierced to the root"

[Jordan179]

Wow, that's almost 150 years before Jonathan Swift invented the Houyhnhnms ...

[BlazzingInferno]

How long until he's seen in an HIE fic?
not long enough

[Axis of Rotation]

I thought you were drunk until I reached the end of that. The reality is only slightly less enjoyable.