Friendship is Card Games: One Bad Apple · 12:22pm Aug 30th, 2015
If you were expecting “The Crystal Empire,” you’ll find it here. If you were expecting “Too Many Pinkie Pies,” you can find that here. No, this week we’re going straight to Babs Seed’s introduction.
Apple Bloom can perform the classic cartoon spin-change. Between that and her… eclectic sense of accessorizing, she’s clearly been spending a fair amount of time with Pinkie Pie.
That being said, I’m surprised by the variety of Apple Bloom’s wardrobe. You’d think she wouldn’t have much by virtue of not needing much. Maybe her friendship with Sweetie Belle expanded her fashion horizons.
I’m not sure what Scootaloo is on when she’s hopping about the train station, but it can’t be good for her.
Ah, Sweetie’s first sparks. It’s nice to see a little physical growth in the Crusaders, evidence that they aren’t trapped in the same time abyss as the Simpson children.
Poor Babs. Ponyville is, ironically enough, not a friendly place for the socially anxious.
So… Scootaloo kept her hooves over Babs’s eyes all the way from the train station to the clubhouse? The logistics boggle the mind. Was Scootaloo effectively riding Babs the entire way? Yet another strike against the Crusaders in that first impression.
Summer Harvest Parade? Summer Harvest Parade? Well, I’m pretty sure the timeline is officially screwed six ways to Sunday now.
Why were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at Sweet Apple Acres, exactly? Did they have nothing better to do than hover around the Crusaders, waiting for an opportune moment to mock them? Because I can totally believe that. They clearly hadn’t known about Babs… unless appearing not to know was their plan the entire time.
I do like Sweetie’s role as the Crusaders’ voice of reason. A rarely heeded voice of reason, yes, but at least she’s there.
“We’ll just avoid her like the plague until she goes home.” Huh. Plague confirmed. Not necessarily bubonic, but epidemics have apparently swept across Equestria in the past.
The brown-and-gold seed motif in the song was what led me to my headcanon of Babs’s special talent being entrepreneurial investment. (She knows where to plant seed money. Given Equestria’s love of puns, it makes perfect sense.) I’m rather disappointed with her canonical talent, but at least she found it.
I know some of it is the musical number, but Babs’s ability to infiltrate cinema does wonders for my headcanon regarding earth ponies’ metafictional abilities.
That Squeaky Belle. That is the sound of ultimate suffering.
So, does Rarity’s father never take off that hat, or what? As for the fishing, it’s probably just for sport. After all, what would he do with them?
I can understand the Crusaders’ reluctance to snitch, but how did Applejack miss Apple Bloom being treated like a hobo in her own room? I suppose Applejack has more pressing issues to worry about.
So, did the Crusaders just appropriate supplies from everypony in town for their second float? Theft on top of planned assault? As for the edible boots, there are many explanations. My favorite may be this one.
In 2012, a crack Crusader unit was evicted from their treehouse by a bully for an insult they didn't intend. These fillies promptly retreated from a minimum security orchard to the Ponyville underground. Today, still wanted by the upper crust, they survive as pranksters of fortune. If you have a problem, if nopony else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The C-Team.
Scootaloo having mechanical aptitude is an interesting development. I like how her skills are more oriented towards vehicles than Apple Bloom’s apparent architectural focus.
Pinkie hijacking the hobo-lifting aroma. Nice. I mean, Spike taking a pratfall I’m not too keen on, but seeing Pinkie exploit cartoon physics is always fun.
You know, playing the Parasprite Polka may not be the best idea during a parade full of food-shaped floats.
A golden apple float. It’s a shame Discord hasn’t been rereleased yet. He’d be so proud. Also, it seems that the internal combustion engine or some variant thereof has found its way into common use in Equestria. Not sure what the fuel is, but those are definitely engine noises.
Equestrian balloons are psychosensitive. They can deflate on cue, much like Uberwaldean thunderstorms.
And Applejack reveals that the plot hinges even more on miscommunication than it first appeared. 
I suspect Pinkie knew more than she let on. “Hmm hmm hmm. Just reading a magazine. Sure hope nopony takes the wheel while I’m so very distracted.”
Looks like Featherweight hired a new photographer for the Foal Free Press.
That’s a lot of mud in Apple Bloom’s ear. There’s probably a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not touching it.
Well, Sweetie, when your world is built around teaching life lessons to young extradimensional beings, a certain degree of karmic irony is to be expected.
On a side note, speaking as someone who was bullied, I did find that adults were helpful at times. Usually when they caught my tormentors in the act. Still, I found that ignoring the bullies worked better than anything. If they tried to escalate matters, they caught the notice of aduts. If they kept things where they were... I'm actually not sure if they did or not. I wasn't paying any attention to them.
Sweetie Belle may be a dictionary, but it looks like Scootaloo is a thesaurus.
Hmm. Judging by the bullies’ reaction to Babs’s threat, both still have mothers. Interesting to note in both cases.
So, the train leaving for Manehattan is going in the same direction as the one that arrived from Manehattan. Go figure.
And on that note, the cards have pulled into the station. Let’s go meet them:
Steering Override 1W
Instant
Destroy target artifact creature that’s attacking or blocking.
The Crusaders’ many accidents give them considerable insight into intentional sabotage.
Cacophonous Marchers 4W
Creature — Pony Band
Whenever you sacrifice a Song, target player can’t cast spells this turn.
It is part of the nature of a parade to demand undivided attention.
3/3
Luster Dust U
Instant
Strive — Luster Dust costs 1 more to cast for each target beyond the first.
Any number of target creatures become all colors until end of turn.
Draw a card.
Overbearing Welcome 1U
Enchantment
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, you may pay 1U. If you do, tap that creature. It doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.
If any place can be said to be too friendly, it is Ponyville.
Ponyville Fisher 2U
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
When Ponyville Fisher dies, draw a card.
Ponies rarely try to catch anything when they fish, treating the activity more as a form of meditation.
2/2
Bold Claim 2UU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a land card. Put that card onto the battlefield under your control and the rest into that player’s graveyard.
”Sometimes you need to pay for something. Sometimes you just need to say it’s yours.”
—Diamond Tiara
Thinking Spot 3U
Enchantment
3: Each player draws a card. Any player may activate this ability.
Just knowing that they stand in a place meant for brainstorming can send ponies’ thoughts racing.
Big City Attitude B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+0 and has menace.
Even the meekest Manehattanite is a force of personality by other cities’ standards.
"Babs Seed" 2B
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "Babs Seed".
1B, Sacrifice "Babs Seed": Each opponent loses X life, where X is the number of verse counters on "Babs Seed". You gain life equal to the life lost this way.
Suck Dry 4BB
Sorcery
Destroy target creature. You gain life equal to that creature’s toughness.
Ungula has few vampires, but that only means that each one has little competition.
Youthful Enthusiasm 3R
Enchantment
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, that creature gets +2/+0 and gains haste until end of turn.
”Don’t worry, they’ll tucker themselves out soon enough.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Catastrophic Collapse XR
Instant
Destroy target artifact with converted mana cost X. Catastrophic Collapse deals X damage to up to one target creature that artifact’s controller controls.
For some, collateral damage is an unfortunate consequence. For others, it’s half the fun.
Harvest Festival 1G
Sorcery
Untap all lands.
Ponyville’s Summer Harvest Parade commemorates the hard work of the farmers that made it what it is today. Bitter rivalries and old grudges are put aside for a day of communal celebration.
Towering Projection 1G
Instant
Target creature has base power and toughness 5/5 until end of turn.
”That’s weird. I thought we were going to show Attack of the Fifty-Foot Mare next week.”
—Film Reel, projectionist
Lake Wallowers 3G
Creature — Boar
Whenever a player casts a blue spell, you gain 1 life.
Ponyville’s pigs are allowed to wander the town with impunity. Given their ultimate fate, it’s the least the ponies can do for them.
3/3
Dancing Snacks 2
Artifact Creature — Construct
Sacrifice Dancing Snacks: You gain 2 life.
Advertisement is a fairly new concept in Equestria. Mascots can take on a life of their own in and through the public eye.
1/2
Edible Boots 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has nonbasic landwalk.
Sacrifice Edible Boots: Choose one—
• Regenerate equipped creature.
• You gain 4 life.
Equip 2
Lupine Headdress 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has trample, and is a Wolf in addition to its other creature types.
Whenever a player casts his or her second spell each turn, unattach Lupine Headdress.
Equip 3
Golden Apple Float 5
Artifact Creature — Construct
Sunburst (This enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each color of mana spent to cast it.)
2G: All creatures able to block Golden Apple Float this turn do so.
Chaos on wheels.
0/0
Harvest Float 6
Artifact Creature — Construct
When Harvest Float dies, you gain 4 life.
”Making it wasn’t nearly as hard as finding a head of lettuce that big.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
4/4
Crusader Induction 1(rw)G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has first strike. If that creature has no other abilities, it gets an additional +1/+1.
An oath to pursue one’s passions, blind to doubt, disapproval, and common sense.
Corn, obviously.
Do you mean White Mana only? Else, why not just make it 5/5?
3357431 Or methane. There are all those pigs, which they may feed the corn to.
3357431
Entirely possible. Given my headcanon for her, Berry Punch might be the best source of fuel in Ponyville.
3357469
No. Golden Apple Float costs five mana of any color or combination of colors. Thus, if you spend WUBRG, it's a 5/5. If you spend, say, GGGWW, then it's only a 2/2. That's how sunburst works on creatures. (It puts charge counters on noncreature artifacts.)
Why did I give it sunburst? Because it seemed like an interesting design, because sunburst happens to be one of my favorite keywords, and because a 5/5 with Lure for five is insane if you don't have to jump through several hoops for it.
Life, she is high on life. And you are right, it's not good for, because it'll kill her some day, just like it does everyone else. Err, almost everyone else. *Eyes Celestia and Luna*
Just waiting for it.
We already knew this. It is best to not take the presentation nor production order as the actual timeline of how things go. Piece them together by when they say they take place inside of the episode itself. Still not perfect but better than thinking they each happen in the order we were shown (or they were made when such differs).
While I agree with your reasoning my personal head cannon is that Diamond was there because her father had business to conduct with the Apple Clan, perhaps about the up coming parade or mayhaps about zap apples and the jam made there of.
Silver was there because Diamond was.
It was a plague of cutie marks. A pox is a type of plague after all.
Un must alwayz hav on a niz hat.
As for the fish, maybe he has a pegasus friend he gives them too, maybe Fluttershy. We've seen her feeding fish to other animals after all.
Maybe it is because when she's not being a helicopter-mom she respects her little sister's privacy. It is happening in her room, behind a closed door, after all.
Magic. No, really, it runs on liquid magic. A natural bi-product of unicorn casting, they get a sort of condensation on the horn which they clean off, send for processing and it is used to power all sorts of things.
it is also a topic not generally talked about in polite company and especially not with non-unicorns.
I too was bullied in my past, and still have the (thankfully not physical) scars to this day. Sadly I didn't learn the "just ignore them" lesson soon enough. But, well, the past is the past and best leave it there. Learn from it, but don't let it hold you down.
Onto something happier, such as these lovely cards you have given us.
So is being an artifact less restrictive then being one of two of the five colors? Because Surge of Righteousness does to Black or Red the same thing Steering Override does to artifact for the same cost AND gains you two life.
If you don't want to have the life gain maybe make it cost only W instead of 1W?
I like the flavor text on Ponyville Fisher, maybe they use an empty hook. And any fish dumb enough to actually bite said empty hook is very politely removed from the breeding pool and given to a friendly hungry carnivorous animal. Such as Opal.
Oh, wait, she's not friendly. Never mind.
So the Thinking Spot is some kind of reverse Catch 22? Ponies go there to think because they know ponies go there to think but if no pony had ever gone there to think no ponies would ever go there to think.
I know there is a phrase for a "reverse Catch 22" but it's escaping me at the moment. Not any kind of paradox... .
I like Towering Projection, we need more cards that change the base power and toughness of creatures.
You can get your Dancing Snacks right now in the lobby! Let's all go there now!
... .
I'll show myself out.
So Lupine Headdress turns the creature into a transformed Werewolf? Neat.
3357483
I love Sunburst as well. I was sad that it didn't make a reappearance when we went back to Mirrodin.
Of course there's a summer harvest festival. Earth pony magic means there are multiple harvests a year. Or, if you're a unicorn, you can wait all year for your garden to grow.
My previous post has been edited to contain what I meant to say before accidentally hitting the post button.
I can't believe I never made that connection!
I still want to use my "ponies get bored and change the season every four weeks" theory, but stupid Rainbow Dash has canonically stated twice that winter is 3 months long.
Fish=food for pets? That's what it is in a ton of fanfics anyways. I can't see them feeding their dogs or cats anything with four legs and a face.
Fanfic nonsense aside, it's probablby safe to assume that all characters on this show will have 2 parents if it ever comes up except Applejack. *Maybe* There's room for a Very Special Episode about Scootaloo or someone only having only one parent, but probably not even that.
---
Bold Claim: I know blue's the one that usually gets to steal stuff permanently, but it's weird seeing mono-blue mana acceleration. Seems kinda slow though. I guess the best application of this would be to seed their graveyard with 1-2 extra cards if your deck needs it, while also wiping out deck-manipulation and not losing card advantage.
Thinking Spot: Looks fun in any deck that does useful stuff whenever you (or the opponent) draw a card.
Youthful Enthusiasm: Goblins, goblins, goblins. Or, you know, those boring red cards that aren't goblins. Also not bad in white weenie decks.
Catastrophic Collapse: You forgot a comma. Anyways, looks like a good spell.
Harvest Festival: Double mana for one turn? Say hello to a creature I shouldn't have been able to play for three more turns.
Towering Projection: Actually looks really fun, if not for every deck. Of course it stacks with lords, enchantments, equipment etc.
Lake Wallowers: What ultimate fate? Are you suggesting that pony pet food is soylent pig?
Lupine Headdress: Clever twist on the werewolf mechanics. Looks very fun. Equip cost looks kinda high though, given you'll have to repay it.
Sell them? I mean, given that both cats AND birds are prone to snacking on fish, I'm pretty sure gryphons would be willing to pay for it. Especially if we assume that, like in our world, different species of fish are available in different areas.
Give them to Opal to eat?
Also, on Babs' cutie mark:
"Babs is a blade mare. She'll cut you, man!"
img00.deviantart.net/79b5/i/2015/108/5/7/babs_is_a_blade_mare__by_pixelkitties-d8q5le5.png
(By Pixelkitties.)
3357483
Wasn't reading properly... Sorry...
To everyone like 3357917 who pointed out that fish could be used to feed Opalescence and other pets: I must admit, I hadn't considered that. Still, I suspect there's a more industrial approach to feeding carnivorous pets in Equestria. I just hope the Flimflams don't get involved in it.
3357498
Plus, different crops are ready to harvest at different times. Especially when earth ponies get involved.
3357552
Fnord.
3357932
I could make a Kill la Kill joke here, but let's face it, those were played out shortly after "Bloom and Gloom" aired.
3357790
Given what we've seen of pegasus parents—or rather, haven't seen—I suspect they have much weaker family dynamic than the other tribes. I think there's some lingering Spartan sensibility from Pegasopolis there.
Bold Claim: This is basically the lovechild of Annex and Stolen Goods, two blue tastes that taste green together.
Catastrophic Collapse: The typo should be rectified by the time you read this.
Lake Wallowers: My headcanon is that pork is a major Equestrian export. And possible pet food ingredient. Not like Griffonstone has a lot of room for raising livestock, and griffins can't live on scones alone.
Lupine Headdress: Hey, it's a mana cheaper to cast and to equip than Brawler's Plate.
3357491
Sorry, this response is so big, it sank to the bottom.
It's true, 100% of known deaths do happen to living people.
With regard to the timeline, a Summer Harvest Festival would most likely take place at the end of summer, especially if pumpkin floats are appropriate. However, this episode necessarily takes place at least a few weeks after beginning of the school year, since the Crusaders have their clubhouse, which was refurbished in "The Show Stoppers." This means some scheduling conflicts when combined with the premise that the first three seasons of the show took place over one year, from summer solstice to summer solstice. There's room for all of the episodes, yes, but not in any kind of logical order.
Filthy Rich having business with the Apples makes sense, but I still like the idea of Diamond Tiara stalking Apple Bloom.
I suppose the cutie pox epidemic would be remembered as a plague, yes. Still, I can't help but get the feeling that is wasn't the only one.
That horn juice headcanon is disgusting. Why do I like it so much?
Steering Override: I'd forgotten about Surge of Righteousness. Still, given that every deck can potentially run artifact creatures, I'd say that it matches up to a card that's useful 40% of the time.
Thinking Spot: I believe the term you're looking for is "self-fulfilling prophecy," or something along those lines.
3358290
I'm a 'pick and choose' sort of guy when it comes to a time line and story elements of canon episodes. Sure, I'll hew as close to the actual show as I can but it if feel that something was too "cartoony" and I want a more "realistic" type of story I'll leave it out.
That's the joy of fanfiction, but I understand that people have differing views on such things.
And I was thinking more about the original Cutie Pox, the one Twilight found in her history book. Also, there is the Feather Flu which might have reached Black Death levels of fatalities in the past. Probably something else we've not heard about though, something that could spread though all three tribes.
Of course not every universe has that form of liquid magic, it was just something my brain came up with one day while thinking a bit too hard on the mechanics of, ah, 'horn finishes' ifyouknowwhatyImean.
And yes, "self-fulfilling prophecy" was indeed the phrase I was wanting. Brain just error coded while trying to parse it for some reason.
Wouldn't it be all kinds of awkward if some crazy person decided that Diamond Tiara is targeting Apple Bloom because she has no idea that she's insulting her mother when she makes the googly-eye face?
3358706
You, sir or madam, have officially blown my mind.
3358715 The writers could do any crazy thing if they wanted to. They could make Scootaloo Pony Lor McQuarrie who can't count her brothers because they're always moving around. They could declare Pianist Pony AJ's estranged mother. They could do anything they wanted.
3358290 My assumption is that chickens are the go-to "ethical meat" source in Equestria, since we've seen ample evidence that they're no more intelligent than earth chickens and they are the only non-fish animal in the entire setting that I can say that about. Plus it's taken as a given by most fanfics that ponies eat their eggs, since too many things we've seen them cook demand eggs. (To start with: Cake.) If you're willing to eat its eggs, you're probably willing to let something else eat it as long as they don't rub your face in it.
Pigs, meanwhile, are a large four-legged animal. And the majority of large four legged species we've seen so far (ponies, donkeys, cows, yaks, buffalo) have been clearly intelligent; the only exceptions are pigs and sheep, and we never saw positive evidence of them being stupid.
So, does Rarity’s father never take off that hat, or what? As for the fishing, it’s probably just for sport. After all, what would he do with them?
...I see that other people have already answered this. Suffice to say that Twilight is going to have a lot of awkward questions in the epilogue of A World, Reflected; the meat question is one of them. So is the Pinkie question.
Nonbasic landwalk is just cruel given the last three blocks. What are you going to do, not run temples and Gainlands?
3361089
The thing is, at least sheep have canonically spoken. If a pig gets a line, I will happily revise that headcanon. As it is, the amount of resource investment that goes into swine doesn't pan out if all they offer in return is truffle hunting.
3361449
I imagine that Fluttershy, mistress of food chains, will be able to help her out there. At least with the meat thing.
And I admit, I have an inordinate fondness for nonbasic landwalk. (One of my biggest disappointments with Return to Ravnica Block was that they didn't print a creature with gatewalk.) At least this instance of it offers a solution beyond artifact destruction: Put either the creature or the player in a situation desperate enough to make them eat their own boots. And I am tremendously pleased that I can type those words with utmost sincerity.
Big City Attitude should be Big-City Attitude (note hyphen).
Should the floats be Vehicles?
4725942
Remember, this blog went up over a year before Kaladesh came out. I made a lot of cards that would work well as Vehicles back before we were introduced to the artifact type.
You know, I have no idea wether you still correct things around here, but the last words of the flavor text of Towering Projection aren't in italics:
4928030
Why wouldn't I? Thanks for the heads-up.