The Pony Picayune dares to ask, what constitutes a 'good' kiss? · 7:19pm Aug 6th, 2015
Licking his lips, Tarnish became aware that other ponies were staring, watching, waiting, at least it felt that way. It felt as though there were a million eyes focused on Tarnish right now. He took a step forward, closer to Maud, he could feel himself trembling, and the way that Maud stared at him wasn’t making anything any easier. He tilted his head off to one side, and he could feel his lips quivering. Just before contact, he closed his eyes, and then felt his snoot bump up against something warm, somewhat fuzzy, and a little damp from her breathing. He found her lips and then drew Maud in, kneading his lips against hers, she was unmoving, at least right at this moment, but Tarnish knew that she would respond; she always did.
He could feel his lips sliding over hers, there was a growing moistness, and he felt Maud react. Her head tilted to one side, and he could feel her breathing. He felt one strong foreleg wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, and he could feel Maud against his chest, against the base of his neck. He felt the tip of Maud’s tongue flick against his lips, a little curious lick, and he returned the gesture. He opened his eyes, only just a little, and could see that Maud’s eyes were closed. Tarnish closed his eyes once more, relying upon his other senses. Maud was a slow kisser. She did everything with a slow, careful pace.
Tarnish might have initiated this kiss, but now he was along for the ride. He felt his knees wobble as suction increased. Maud was working the kiss now, slippery lips slid across one another, and Tarnish was overwhelmed by the rough sensation of Maud’s tongue sliding back and forth across his own. There was friction in the kiss, even with the slipperiness, and Tarnish could feel his lips growing warmer. Feeling emboldened, Tarnish asserted a bit of dominance, getting ahold of Maud’s bottom lip and suckling upon it, his tongue now moving like a paint brush back and forth over the edge of her lower lip.
He heard a whinny and felt heavy breath flooding into his mouth; it took a moment to realise that it was Maud whinnying. Tarnish was seeing stars now, and the need for air was almost painful. Regretting his action even before he did it, he pulled away, leaving behind a thin trailing string of slobber that he did not see because his eyes were closed.
Trembling, his whole body shaking, Tarnish struggled to breathe. He felt breathless. He opened his eyes. Maud’s mane was a curly mess now. Her eyes were closed, and she was sucking on her own lips. Other than that, she was as she always was, and her expression was unreadable.
So, how does one convey something as intimate as a kiss, making it sensual, making it intimate, without making it perverse? How does one convey a feeling of actual romance, of love, of emotion, without crossing over the fence into the dangerous realms of clop fiction?
Not that there is anything wrong with clop fiction, but it can be good to tell a love story without having to resort to writing about horse-coitus.
So again I ask, how does one construct a good kiss? An embrace? How does one get the reader emotionally involved in what is going on between the characters, with genuine concern about how the characters are actually feel and not just reading and thinking "I wish they would fuck already." Not that there is anything wrong with that, but story telling being what it is, sometimes, you just want the reader to feel something different, or you want to express something different. You want a story to be sappy, or saucy, or even racy, but you don't want full blown in your face sexual eroticism.
As a writer, how do you convey a kiss? What is the purpose? To titillate readers? To express the affection of the characters? As a warm up, a bit of foreplay before jumping into to a little in-out in-out? Do you ever feel compelled that the kiss should be the highlight of the written work, the focus, the proverbial star of the show, and it should be what your readers talk about more than anything else that happens or goes on afterward?
Is a kiss a story device? Before jumping into the bone jumping scene, is a kiss just a means to telegraph the message "Hey, these two ponies know each other and they are affectionate! Here they are, kissing, look how well this relationship has been established!"
How does one give a kiss meaning? How does one describe the colour blue? How does one make a kiss more than just smooshing two wet, flappy, flexible sphincters against one another and smashing them around? How does one make a kiss just as, if not more, meaningful than the actual act of lovemaking?
Chortling, Tarnish pressed himself against Maud, clinging to her, allowing his hoof to keep wandering. The fabric of her smock was smooth and slippery against his pelt and there were little crinkling sounds as he moved against her. Pulling his head away, Tarnished Teapot opened his eyes just enough to guide his muzzle to her lips once more. He pressed in, soft at first, he could feel the plumpness of Maud’s lips against his. He felt her lips part, just a little, and he was aware of the hardness of Maud’s teeth, he could feel them pressed against the back of her lips. Her mouth opened a little more, her teeth spreading apart, and Tarnish could feel the softness in Maud’s lips now, and like everything else about her, they were muscular and firm.
There was something arousing when a mare opened herself up, inviting you inside, giving you a willing invitation. The back of Tarnish’s mind contemplated this aspect of life as the kiss intensified. She was trusting you, trusting in your gentleness and your decency. She was trusting in love, trusting that when she opened herself up, that she would not be hurt. A mare was vulnerable in these moments, opened, exposed, their tender places, the very places that made them feminine, were now unguarded and there was an invitation to experience the most intimate touch of all. She was inviting you inside, where her heart was.
With all of this floating in the back of his mind, Tarnish’s tongue crept forward, past Maud’s lips, a curious visitor, and he felt Maud’s tongue rising up to say hello. The underside of her tongue was smooth, standing out in sharp contrast against the rough topside. He felt one of Maud’s forelegs slip from around him, and then he felt something under his chin, tilting his head back, and then he felt Maud press her advantage and her lips against him, applying pressure. His hind knees buckled and he felt his legs give way, but he did not fall. Maud was holding him up, her one strong foreleg still wrapped around his body.
Recovering, Tarnish kicked his hind legs downwards, bracing himself, pushing upwards, his body sliding against Maud, and he lifted his good foreleg up, wrapped it around Maud’s neck, and hooked his fetlock around the back of Maud’s head, pulling her in even tighter. His lips were tingling now, almost throbbing, and he could feel the blood rushing through his ears.
After a few more intense seconds, he pulled away, gasping, aware that the kiss needed to end before his arousal became a growing problem. He stared into Maud’s open eyes, fell in, and got lost, never wanting to be found.
We here at the Pony Picayune don't know what constitutes a good kiss, but we're willing to keep trying, keep experimenting, and keep writing until we find out. We'd also love to hear how you construct a kiss, how you leave your audience begging for more, and the methods of your madness.
Until then, remember, we're all just monkey pounding away on keyboards until something truly awesome randomly happens.
You know, not all of us can be as good of writers as you, Kudzu. You don't have to rub it in.
3300789
Wasn't doing that.
I'd actually like some input on how others approach these sorts of scenes.
3300807 While your kiss scenes are passionate and all that, I feel like some of them are a bit too passionate or drawn out. I know you want to try and convey sawcy romance in those scenes, but I honestly skip a lot of the longer ones ;-;
It's not really your fault so much as the fact that I'm easily bored/have a low attention span, but I'm just putting it out there.
aaaaAAHHHHH being honest makes me shrivel up I'm sorry
3300807 yeah I know, I was just teasing. From what I've seen, long, drawn-out descriptions definitely have their place in a story if done right. They work best (in my opinion) for non-sexual scenes that depict things like
- "first" kisses (can be first ever, first after an event like engagement/marriage, etc)
- kisses that have significant plot relevance, like the turning point in a relationship.
I think that the scenes after Tarnish and Maude's wedding really showed character development. It showed Tarnish had grown from a scared, rejected colt into a confident young stallion who had finally found his place in the world. Same thing for Maude, she has come a long way with showing her emotions and coming outside of her comfort zone.
:) Hope that was a bit more helpful than my first post.