Coming up next! · 5:05am Jul 31st, 2015
Canterlot News
FIGHT ERUPTS OVER PONYVILLE'S WEATHER PONY
By Worthy GossipLocal Celebrities Commander Twilight Sparkle and Captain Spitfire had a heated confrontation this last Monday just outside the high-end restaurant "Le Petit Monde", famous in Canterlot for its international Griffonian Cuisine at the capable claws of Chef Gustave le Grand.
The argument, which almost escalated into a fight between members of the Wonderbolts and Commander Sparkle's infamous retinue of quasi-celebrities—including Urdnot Wrex the Krogan, musicians DJPON3 and Octavia Philarmonica as well as the rising star of the design world, Rarity Belle—appears to be over the Commander's decision to pursue one Rainbow Dash of Ponyville as one more member of her troops.
A witness who has chosen to remain unnamed has confirmed that Commander Sparkle mentioned at the table her intent to invite Rainbow Dash to join within earshot of the Wonderbolts, who were also having dinner there that night.
While Commander Sparkle and Spitfire's spats are well-documented, this one was reportedly promising to be worse than last year's hoof-fight that destroyed the Hayburger Joint in downtown Canterlot, or even the one from the two years ago where both mares staged a "demonstration" against Prince Blueblood's ColtBand "The Blue Balls" after the one-hit-wonder band had announced its intention to release a second record.
Princess Celestia and Luna, however, interceded and declared that the issue would be dealt with accordingly and not while there was still cake in the premises.
While the fight was stopped, this reporter has to wonder how the Wonderbolts themselves will fare against Commander Sparkle given the Royal Guard's performance during last weekend's secret training exercise. And given the intense relationship Commander Twilight Sparkle and Captain Spitfire have shared throughout the years, we can expect some rejection issues to spruce out.
I for one, intend to stay away until it's all over.
And then they hate-fu- Oh look, a cactus!
3283881 "We'll bang, okay?"
famous in Canterlot for it's international
had announced it's intention to
1. Its.
2. Its.
Huh... Didn't peg the two of them together in this verse. The more you know.
Huh. Seems the Guard is also terrible at keeping information confidential. That, or Twilight told the story to anyone who'd listen. And everyone else. In a mile-wide radius.
In any case, I have to wonder if Dash will even be asked for her opinion on the matter.
3284161 this was inspired by Jon Stewart's "secret meetings" with the president.
I demand to know the name of top singles from The Blue Balls!
3285183
They only had one top single, and it was probably a remake of something like "I'm the baby got'ta love me..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-NwPEbPPzA
It sounds like something a prince named Blue Blood would auto-tune.
3286126 That's surprising, I would have guessed it would be more like
3286154
Either way, the Ponyville Theater Company's adaptation of West Side Story was WAAAAAAY better...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmJ2Bkx2C5A
3286175 One of Apple Jackson's greatest hits.
3286277
Sadly, I don't think the Blue Balls latest single is going to strike the right chord with the parents of their target demographic. After all, when the artist formerly known as Prince Butterfingers BB was a little belieber he still had an innocent charm that didn't make the need want spell seem like such a bad idea.
Although it would explain is interest, or lack thereof, in Rarity.