HONEST FICTIONS [BLOG SERIES]: SO MUCH LEG · 10:21pm Jun 22nd, 2015
This is a series that a friend and I wanted to do as a story, but couldn't because of the MST3K rule. So we've settled on a blog series! I am not the ones writing these Honest Fictions. They are all written by different writers. This is inspired by Honest Trailer. Enjoy.
If you want to make your own Honest Fiction, PM either me or Twilight is the BEST for more information.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
THE FOLLOWING IS AN
HONEST FICTION
I Am The Night ORIGINAL PRODUCTION
Honesty by GradualGhost
In a world ruled by talking candy-colored ponies that we won’t be visiting in this story.
“Okay. First day at Canterlot High School. Well, here goes nothing . . . .”
Instead we have humans dealing with High School and something much worse: Puberty.
Meet Hoofenmouth, a new transfer student to Celestia’s School for Gifted—I mean Canterlot High and he’s got a thing for skirts.
He'd never really noticed before, but some of the girls in his old school were actually really good-looking. Tight blouses, short shorts, knee-high boots, skin-hugging pants: he'd felt a thrill at the mere sight of them. He was especially enthralled by the girls who had a thing for wearing miniskirts.
And he’s about to have some serious troubles.
The first thing he noticed was that nearly every student he saw walking around the main hall was female. Yes, there were male students, but their numbers in this part of the building alone paled by comparison. What initially directed his attention was the second thing Hoof consciously realized—each and every girl he saw was wearing a skirt or dress!
I feel for you dude. Watch as he deals with awkward situations by being even more awkward.
“Uhhh . . . I . . . uh, I . . . . nice balloons!”
Heh heh… balloons…
Uh, where was I? Oh right the awkward teenager. Come along for a ride as we get lost in this guys voyeuristic daydreams.
Hoof stared at her, feeling his face (and his crotch) get warm very quickly, just as with Pinkie Pie. He felt his legs get weaker the longer he stared at hers.
The euphemisms come without warning and without apology.
Lunch came quickly, and admittedly, Hoof almost did, as well.
Heh heh… BONER!
Not even lunch can give him the respite he so desperately needs.
Until Hoof heard voices. The distance between him and another pair of cute girls was now shrinking.
“Face it, AJ, there's no way you can beat me!” one girl with rainbow-colored hair said to her friend. “I kicked your butt out on the soccer pitch and the track!”“All right, I'll give ya that one,” replied her friend, a blonde girl in a cowgirl hat, with a twangy accent, “but when it came to the weight room and the basketball court, I had you beat! You ain't got a right to brag until we have a tiebreaker!”
Hoof glanced up, and saw that they were both standing right next to his table. In that glance, Hoof saw what they were wearing, and his hormone-induced panic reignited.
Dude, I think you can just excuse yourself to the restroom and no one will notice. I’m beginning to think that you just like being awkward. Well at least you haven’t progressed to creepy yet.
“Uhh . . . . .” was all Hoof could reply with. For that brief second, he'd even forgotten his own name. Finally able to pry his eyes away from Applejack's legs, he turned toward his lunch and started putting it all back in the bag. “Uhh, y-you two can go ahead and use this table, i-if you want. I . . . Y-you seem like you're really busy, so I . . . I wouldn't want to interfere with your thighs—I mean you guys!! You guys! I wouldn't want to interfere with you guys! T-that other thing would be . . . kinda creepy . . . . uh, I gotta go! Bye!” And with that, he took his materials and scrambled away, adjusting the crotch of his jeans when he was sure no one was watching.
Wow dude.
Watch as Hoofenmouth blurs the line between awkward and creepy which somehow still goes unnoticed by his peers.
As he left, Applejack and Rainbow Dash glanced at each other. “What was that all about?” Rainbow Dash almost demanded it, looking befuddled.
Don’t act like you don’t know!
Even the faculty are not safe from Hoof’s daydreaming.
In his last class, he had to consciously keep from fantasizing what kind of panties the teacher wore under her green, flower-print skirt (even the lady teachers wore short skirts and knee-length boots!).
What? I’ve got no joke here. Don’t look at me like that. Oh what, you’ve never fantasized about a teacher? Picturing her in all kinds of things and doing…
Now at his locker to exchange materials, Hoof stood there for a long while, his locker open and his back to the rest of the hall. The stress was starting to get to him, but he had one more class to go today. If he could get through it without running into anyone else capable of triggering his hormones, he knew he'd be fine.
But when the home stretch comes in sight you know that everything will fall apart.
Hoof glanced to his right, and did a double-take at whose locker was right next to his. She was gorgeous, with vivid blue eyes and wavy, perfectly shiny purple hair that ended in fancy, bouncy curls. Like every girl Hoof had seen today, she also wore a short skirt, but Hoof's blood raced for another reason: her tight sweater showed off a lovely, perky pair of breasts.
Heh heh… Motorboating…
“Oh, if only I could meet back up with them sooner!” she cried. “Then I would at least have a second opinion!” She then glanced at Hoof, and she herself did a double-take. “You, there!” she called to him, making Hoof freeze in place. “I simply must have some insight! At this point, anyone will do! Now, what do you think of these skirt designs?”
Now you’re just doing this on purpose! There is no way someone could get that unlucky without fate intervening. And you know what that means…
“Hey, Rarity, is something wrong?” came a voice from behind Hoof. Hoof glanced as another girl joined them. She was pretty good-looking herself; she had light lavender skin and straight, darker-purple hair with a pink streak in it. She, too, wore a short skirt, a pleated garment with a star design that matched her hair and her simple, somewhat bookish look.
Heh heh… Threesome…
“Uhh, I-I should go. You two seem busty—er, busy! Busy, I mean, so, I'll just . . . get out of your hair . . .”
Or no threesome.
He felt someone bump him from behind, and turned quickly to see the “girls” Rarity had mentioned before. There they were—Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack—all standing together in a group, observing the awkwardness that Hoof was trying to pull himself out of. They were accompanied by the girl Hoof had bumped into, and once again, Hoof felt the need to adjust the crotch of his pants.
I’ve had many dreams begin this way. Except without humanized ponies…
Shut up, I’m not the one on trial here.
Hoof eyed her up and down without realizing it. She was the hottest girl he'd yet seen today. Her black biker jacket framed a pair of breasts that were even nicer than Rarity's, and the thin top she wore beneath it left little to the imagination. She wore the shortest, tightest miniskirt in the whole school (as far as Hoof could tell), and her slim, sexy legs were accentuated by her tough-looking heeled boots. As much of a bad girl as she looked, though, the look on her face contrasted heavily. She looked harmless, innocent, as if she were hoping he wouldn't be angry with her.
Hoofenmouth wasn't even capable of upset. He was no longer capable of speaking. His control over his body had failed. He couldn't even muster the strength to close his mouth.
Or hide his bulge.
Obviously things come to a head.
“I GOTTA GO!” he yelled without meaning to. “BYE!!” And he raced away to the nearest restroom, covering his crotch so obviously, it looked clearly like he needed the facilities for their basic purpose.
I feel for you dude. I feel your pain.
The awkwardness finally causes our hero to seek relief and—
And Hoofenmouth went. He went for nearly an hour, in a stall by himself, on his knees in front of the open toilet. Sunset's blushing face, lovely body, and alluring posture still fresh in his mind, he went strong and hard, breathing heavily and thanking his lucky stars no other guy was in the room.
Wait, an hour?! That’s just, wow! I only need three minutes!
At least he finally found some relief and maybe we’ll get to see more of his awkward shenanigans in the future.
Starring:
I Can’t Keep My Hoof Outta My Mouth
Balloon Skirt
Animal Helper
Taste The Rainbow
Apple Jack Daniels
I Need To Make Clothes
Librarian Girl
Sunset My Shimmer
Hot For Teacher
So Much Legs
Three gorgeous girls walked past the door, stopping when he'd emerged. One girl, in long, straight, purple pigtails, wore tight purple jeans on her slim hips and a scowl on her face. The second, a cutie in a blue ponytail and a short, pastel pink skirt, looked almost as flighty as Pinkie Pie. The third also wore a ponytail, but with wildly puffy orange hair that looked three times the size of the rest of her head. She appeared to be wearing a short-legged unitard and leggings.
They all looked so very sexy.
It couldn’t be that easy could it.
The skirted girl glanced at her friends as he left; the last thing Hoof heard her say was, “Does he have a sock in his pants?”
Oh, so they DO notice.
Strange, I now feel the urge to read a clop-fic right about now.
I guess this is the part where I tell everyone to forward all hate mail to my inbox. It is rather lonely...
3171883 Why hate? Why not smiles? :D
3171886 If anyone's giving out smiles I'll take them!
I'm not gonna lie. I laughed. Multiple times. This was really good!
I admit, I was a little worried at first, but it's a lot different when you give yourself a chance to laugh at yourself.
Or maybe it's just because the story was supposed to be funny to begin with . . . ?
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
This. ALL of this!
3172002 That story was comedy gold to begin with, from there it was just a matter of providing the right embellishments to let the jokes shine.
Also, while I'm thinking of it.
3171886 Ever thought about making an Honest Fiction group?
3172294 I could do that, though the only thing that can be done in that group is use the form, of course. :)
3172728 At least the forum would be awesome!
3172734 Yeah. :)
3172294 Group formed. Check here. :)
3172806 Nice!