Pre-Reader Q&Neigh: They Made Me Talk · 10:41pm Jul 24th, 2012
So as some of you may know, I moonlight as a EqD pre-reader/email sorter-outer sometimes when the Happy Bluebird of Initiative visits me. I've always thought they were a strange bunch--oddly obsessed with hoses and autoerotic asphyxiation*--but late last night their shenanigans took a horrifying turn for the exhausting. In the dead of night, they took me from my office, tied me up, slapped me in the face with one of their hose things, and then sat me down in front of a laptop and made me sit for nearly four hours answering questions about the pre-reading process, discussing my personal writing techniques, and having what I'm told the Equestria Daily Mad Scientist Division refers to as "a rip-snorting good time". I held out against their despicable demands for as long as I could, but as a wise man once said: "It's hard out here for a pimp." I'm pretty sure it was Confucius.
A dramatized recreation of my assault and eventual capture
In any case, the resulting recording has since been mercifully edited down to about 53 minutes in length, posted to Youtube, and--as of this afternoon--uploaded to Equestria Daily. So if you have any interest in listening to this asshole, this asshole, this asshole, this asshole, these two assholes (who actually, as it turns out, do have FIMFiction accounts, and are therefore just regular ol' assholes like everyone else), and yours truly prattle on about all things fan fiction and pony, go click on the hyperlink or whatever. At least make my suffering worthwhile.
Oh, yeah, and the next chapter of Harmony should be finished by week's end at the latest**. Figured I should mention that too.
* Well, I don't know what else "hosechoke" is supposed to mean.
** As in, I'll be done writing and editing it myself. I'll still have to wait a bit for my other editors to go through it, but that's just par for the course.
Well that makes that video a little disturbing.
But more Harmony makes up for everything.
Isn't this Midnight Shadow?
Or... or is he just an imposter or something? Are people doing that now?
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That's Mids, yes. Aqua fails. He's fired. Again.
I bet ya put up a hell of a fight, but in the end it wasn't enough and what's worse is you cooperated with your captors. Tis a sad day.
"Seven Assholes and Their Microphones" sounds like the title of a promising fic or a promising musical act.
"I have personally killed 6,578 men in cold blood while looking them in the eye; jumped on 1,336 live grenades; and stuffed fourteen feet of my own intestine back into my stomach.
If that doesn't scare you out of your frilly pink leotards, guess what: You are an idiot and you hate America."
-the soldier on real fear.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Tsun Zu said that."
-the soldier from tf2; "Meet the Soldier"
Wait. So, let me get this straight, someone kidnapped you, and forced you to give up information about something you weren't allowed to say anything about?
images.sodahead.com/polls/001116975/pimps_playas_hustlas_xlarge.jpeg
So is this an imposter?
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/midnightshadow
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/BronyCray
You are beyond fired.
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