Deleted Scenes: Maresitting 101 · 5:03pm May 31st, 2015
You should probably read the actual chapter before reading this post.
The following cut occurred when Artemis was attempting to "fall from the ceiling" on top of Cadance
Clamps released, commencing operation 'Death From Above'--
"(You could say that.)"
"(There aren't many places where she could hide, though)" she giggled, movi-- wait...
TARGET MOVED!!! TRAJECTORY FAILURE! ABORT! ABOR--
*Thunk*
'Ow.'
"AHHHH!"
'Wha--!?'
*THUNK*
'OW!!'
Shocked "(I-bwuh-PRINCESS! THAT WAS ARTEMIS!!!)" Lara loudly exclaimed before running up to me across the lobby.
The wide-eyed alicorn froze, immediately doing a double-take at the little dark 'object' she had reflexively thrown against a wall during her surprised state.
Meanwhile, I was slowly slipping down said wall. Could've sworn I heard the squeaking sound usually made by dragging something along glass, too.
...Despite the wall definitely not being made of glass...
I heard a loud gasp from far behind me. "(OH, OH NO! I'M SORRY ARTEMIS! I, I SWEAR DIDN'T MEAN TO!!)"
I cut the scene because it messed up the flow of the chapter. Also because Daring was about to "borrow" Artemis to Cadance while she cooked, and it felt pretty unrealistic to have someone essentially trust another with a baby when they've recently 'hurt' said baby. The main reason for removing that scene, though, was because Cadance would've really felt bad about it, and I didn't want to have her be somewhat 'sadder' for the rest of the chapter.
Another thing I had started doing but promptly changed was right after Artemis hugged Cadance for the first time and Daring noticed.
...However she was quickly getting increasingly frustrated at how long Cadance had been ignoring the... pancakes? Huh, they got those on this world too. Too bad I most likely couldn't taste them seeing as they didn't look appetizing in any way. Though, I did feel pretty full already, so there's that.
Eventually Lara couldn't wait anymore and loudly cleared her throat, causing Cadance to stop nuzzling me and look around in surprise at the interruption, her gaze finally resting on the 'apparently' delicious-looking breakfast.
"(Oooh, they smell amazing! But how did you make so many so fast?)" she asked while licking her lips in anticipation.
"(Magic.)" Lara replied in an odd monotone while keeping her gaze on me.
"(Huh?)"
...Why the heck was Lara feeling hurt?
"(...Ooookay?)" Cadance continued uncertainly, gently grabbing hold of me with her forelegs to set me on the table.
At which point I proceeded to run up to Lara, sit on my haunches and lift my forelegs, performing the patented 'hug-me-plis' sign generally employed by newborns across the world to great effect.
To my immense surprise, she huffed and turned to face away from me.
Removed it and replaced it with extra fluff. Didn't want Lara to feel THAT jealous/angry about it.
Edit 22/07/2015: During the scene where Artemis is running away from a nightmare, there's this line:
I looked around, trying to find the source of the echoing whisper that came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, though I couldn't see anything past a few feet in front of me because of the... oddly familiar fog and trees, the forest stretching itself in every direction I looked at.
"Run."
The oppressing silence was then replaced by a distant sadistic laughter that sent shivers down my very soul, dread filling my core to the point where I felt the urge to actually obey this time without hesitation--
"RUN!!!"
I had initially planned to include a sound file to accompany that section. I ended up not doing that because having to click on a link kind of ruined the flow and/or the buildup that would occur as the reader would read through that part. Still, if you're curious as to what I was going to insert for sound effects, well...
If you've played Warframe and gone far enough, you've most certainly heard of and/or fought the Grineer Manic. You know, that dude that announces his arrival with a creepy laugh?
(NOTE: this might be set to be pretty loud.)
http://images.wikia.com/warframe/images/d/d0/GrineerManicLaugh.ogg
The changes you made were definitely for the better.
Yeah defiantly for the better
I think the changes were improvements.
The extra fluff was great for the chapter. Glad you removed the huff.
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And here we have two wild trolls in their natural habitat. Definantly the one of worst kind of troll. Almost as bad as Tsundre troll.