Trigger Warning: Honest Thoughts on Feminism Ahead · 11:36pm May 17th, 2015
Hey folks...
I've seen a surge of new readers into Five Star Service of late. This surge was thanks in large part to Demon Eyes Laharl, who plugged my story in a blog post. I'm very grateful for all the new readership he's brought me, as well as his willingness to incorporate my work into the Gentlemanverse canon. However, a couple comments have cropped up of late challenging the last chapter, which is actually one of my favorites. The main sticking point seems to be my negative portrayal of feminism, as stated by Five Stars.
Well, then folks... seems I have some explaining to do. Get ready for a long-winded reply, one that's been in the works for a while.
Let me say up front, I am not opposed to the idea of feminism. I am opposed to what feminism, or at least its self-described leadership and most vocal supporters, has become--a male-hating movement that seeks to emasculate men and infantilize women. And believe me, there is plenty of evidence to support such a claim.
Modern Feminism
Whatever it was in the past, feminism has become a movement that reflexively and viciously attacks anyone who dares to suggest that maybe on-demand abortion or forcing religious groups to fund contraception isn't a good thing.
It's a movement that screams "war on women" when anyone suggests that perhaps abortion rules need to be tightened and women should be responsible for their own sex lives. It's a movement that claims 'rape culture' and a 'sexual assault crisis' over an utterly ridiculous and easily debunked claim that says 1 in 5 women are raped at college, and then demands colleges impose these hideously draconian speech and conduct codes in response, two things that are the antithesis of what college and liberal thought are supposed to be about.
And that's to say nothing about 'safe spaces', 'microaggressions', or 'trigger warnings' which also seem to be the movement hallmarks. I'm not going to explain them; if you want to know how ridiculous they are, just look them up.
Speech and Conduct Codes
These codes, which have been adapted by many colleges and universities under U.S. government pressure, basically make it so that it's all on the man and the woman is never responsible for anything. Codes that presume the male is always guilty and offer little in the way of due process or recourse for a rape or even sexual harassment accusation. Simply an accusation is often enough to get you expelled from school, and you can't fight back against your accuser, who is often guaranteed privacy. With many of these codes, the girl can say yes and then for whatever reason regret it later, decide because she had a drink or two was 'incapacitated' and then scream rape.
There's already a long list of people this is happened to, many of whom are now suing their universities for being railroaded. But that aside, please tell me folks... do you seriously think guys never regret a drunken encounter? And how is it that if two people are equally incapacitated by alcohol, it's still the guy's fault?
Many feminists would call you anti-women just for posing those questions. Many do.
Personal Reasons
I have more reason than most to dislike this movement.
1) Three years ago, a long-time female friend who identified as feminist dumped me in the most immature and petulant manner imaginable for daring to say on Facebook there was no "War on Women", and several others followed in her stead, costing me most of my friends. I got shunned and attacked just for daring to challenge that groupthink and I'm still very angry and bitter about it.
2) I'm also an alumni of the University of Virginia, which you may remember was in the news for a fraternity gang rape luridly (and very poorly) reported by Rolling Stone magazine... a rape that never happened.
Think about this: a young college student claims she was gang-raped in a frat house on a table covered with broken glass as part of a fraternity initiation rite. Now, even a moment's consideration should tell you that can't possibly be true. You're seriously going to claim that none of the frat brothers who participated in such a ritual over the years ever had an attack of conscience? That none of the victims ever reported it? That nobody was ever injured and ended up in the hospital because of it? Come on.
No Evidence
Just as there's no evidence that a 'rape culture' or a 'sexual assault crisis' actually exists on college campuses, the Virginia State Police just announced recently there was no evidence to support her accusation--she didn't have injuries that would match her claims, there was no party on the night she said, her statements were contradicted by her own friends, and the frat brother she claimed to have met doesn't exist. But that didn't stop feminists and their allies from seizing on this as a prime example of 'rape culture' and demanding nationwide accountability for something that didn't even happen.
Rape victims never lie? This one did, and ruined many lives by doing so. The entire fraternity scene at UVA ended up suspended, the frat in question under siege from protestors who vandalized their house and forced the frat brothers to flee campus, and the college president imposed collective punishment on the entire Greek scene for something that didn't happen, and refused to rescind it even after they were proven innocent, claiming it was a 'teachable moment' for a problem that doesn't fucking exist.
The magazine was excoriated for total reporting failure by the Columbia Journalism Review, and now faces a $7.5 million dollar defamation lawsuit. But there's no punishment for the accuser, and no punishment for the article writer, who didn't even perform the most basic of fact-checking. She had an agenda and found a story that would advance it. That's all that mattered to her, and to far too many who call themselves feminist. As long as it advances their narrative, it's okay no matter who they hurt in the process--particularly if they're just hurting males.
A Symptom of a Greater Sickness
I'm sorry to say, this is not an isolated incident. It's been happening in various forms all over the country, in colleges and even state legislatures. California just passed a badly misnamed "yes means yes" law which basically means that the guy has to get permission AT EACH STAGE of sex, and the girl can still change her mind later for just about any reason she wants.
This isn't just political correctness gone wild, this is a movement that actively seeks to demonize and emasculate men. It starts with an assumption that all men are potential rapists, and women are always victims, always to be believed and never at fault for anything--that's not 'equality' by any definition of the word. There's already a long trail of ruined lives and careers out there this thinking has caused. Like I said, I'm all for gender equality, but I'm sorry, that's not what they're seeking. Not anymore.
Modern feminism is not a movement about building up, it's about tearing down.
Final Word:
My final word is this: you don't have be a feminist to be pro-woman, and opposing certain feminist tenets doesn't make you anti-woman. What I am is pro-personal responsibility and pro-free speech, pro due-process and pro-presumption of innocence... especially for inflammatory accusations like rape that can ruin lives and reputations regardless of whether it's true.
I think people should be allowed to speak their minds without fear of retribution and people, male or female should be held accountable for their choices and actions, even if they regret it the next day. No more 'safe spaces', no 'microaggressions' or 'trigger warnings', no misnamed 'yes means yes' laws, and no reflexive demonization or smearing as 'anti-woman' those who point out the excesses of a movement that at this point is doing far more harm than good.
Consider this...
I am speaking my mind, but if I openly vented viewpoints like this back at school at this point, I would likely be bitterly assailed and drummed out of school for it, accused of being a 'rape denialist' or worse. That's what this movement and people who support it do, and they control the levers of power and media right now. Feminism is not misandry? Maybe not, but it sure feels that way right now.
Put another way: if a scientific achievement gets reduced to an assault on the lead scientist for his choice of shirt, or a blockbuster movie gets reduced to a throwaway line that is somehow code for rape culture, then something has gone very, very wrong.
So, I'm sorry folks... the bottom line is that Five Stars was speaking for me in that chapter. And I make no apology for it.
Okay, I'm done. Thoughtful replies are welcome, agree or disagree, but ones that descend to name-calling will be summarily deleted. Keep it civil, folks.
i believe you are right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exmp6NQ0et8
You triggered my trigger! You bastard!
(Off-color joke, ahoy!)
I'm a guy. I sometimes think that there's too much anti-masculinity underpinning a lot of the pro-feminist stuff. I then worry that I'm being somewhat misogynistic just for those thoughts. That sequence tells me something's wrong. Is everything that bad? I don't actually think so, but I wonder...
...and the cycle repeats.
Which ends up being another excuse for why I'm too timid to go out and try meeting someone. I'm scared that she actually will be out to get me.
You got everything complete right with this post. When you consider with all the rape accusations that turned out to be false and the women getting no consequenses, no criminal charges or anything for ruining a man's life cause the women have an agenda against men, there's basically an incentive to make false accusations cause you'll never be charged with a crime and always get off scott-free. It's shit like this that I could never trust a woman NOT to stab me in the back.
So in other words exactly what happened to Jon Joseco.
Simply excellent post. Succinctly summarizes some of the worst problems we see with political correctness in society today. For more information, consider reading the linked article written by Emily Yoffe at Slate. In the article, this honest, liberal, feminist reports how the feminist culture has gone too far on college campuses, pretty much eliminating basic due process for accusations as serious as rape. She does an excellent job of debunking the commonly asserted and ridiculous so-called rape frequency statistics (the 1 in 5 statistic among them).
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/12/college_rape_campus_sexual_assault_is_a_serious_problem_but_the_efforts.html
And if you still have time, consider reading The Silencing by Kirsten Powers that details the tremendous threats to our society posed by chilling attempts to suppress free speech posed by 'safe spaces', 'trigger warnings', and 'micro-aggressions'.
http://www.amazon.com/Silencing-Left-Killing-Free-Speech/dp/1621573702/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431913694&sr=8-1&keywords=kirsten+powers
I largely agree with everything you’ve written, but this bit stood out. I don’t think there’s a “war on women”¹ but there is a war on women’s sexuality. Ever since the sexual revolution the religious right has been desperately trying to jam the lid back on Pandora’s box and to say that these self‐righteous ninnies are not trying to legislate morality would be a damn lie.
While I have no doubt many of them do earnestly believe that abortions are immoral I also have no doubt that many are shielding themselves behind that claim in order to advance their neo‐puritanical agenda.
Ultimately, while both of those positions are without merit at least those advocating the former aren’t intent on dragging down anything that could even tangentially be linked with “enabling female promiscuity” and literally costing lives.
3077059
While the first half of this comment was a direct reply to Firesight’s blog post, your comment struck a nerve.
Nobody should feel that way about themselves — even for an instant — simply because of feminism’s victim complex fuelled projection vis‐à‐vis their unbridled contempt for the opposing sex.
I’ll plug Bane666’s YouTube channel here. His series, “The Propaganda of Toxic Feminism” debunks pretty much every feminist talking point I’ve ever heard. Hopefully, his comprehensive series will allay that nagging feeling. Fair warning: the series clocks in at over 25 videos so far and most of them are at least an hour long, but within the series there is proof that, yes, the vilification of males and masculinity is not just your imagination and that no, you are not a misogynist for feeling hurt or betrayed by the bile the average feminist spews literally without forethought.
¹ Pure hyperbolic bullshit at its finest, the left’s equivalent of the right’s inane ranting about the “war on Christianity”.
3077315
Well, to be honest, I worry too much about a great many minor things anyway.
First off, ignore everyone who attacks you for what you've written. You don't have to justify anything you write as you have complete freedom to write it, and if someone has a problem with it then ignore them - they just don't matter.
Secondly, I agree with everything you've written. The modern feminist movement hurts everyone - even women who don't agree with it. Whoever feminists turn their gaze to a train of senseless hatred flows unto, which often destroys their livelihood.
I hope you enjoy writing your stories, because I enjoy reading them
.
I appreciate your honest and sincere response, but I disagree with almost all of your points. You are conflating misandry with feminism. Please read this, it is very short but sums it up nicely:
http://michellephan.com/what-it-means-to-be-a-feminist-meaning-of-feminism-equality/
Your personal experiences are really unfortunate but do not reflect what is happening at large in society, who is emasculating men and in what way? What does it mean to be a man? I know many people who are feminists, both men and women. I don't hate myself for being a man, and I don't personally know anyone else that hates men. The genders are no where near equal at the moment, but they're a bit closer.
If you want to read more, please look at this:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/12/reasons-people-believe-feminism-hates-men/
sad to say but what Firesight wrote sounds pretty much spot on.
3077611
and you think some of the feminism does not the same?
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and where's the equality in that law that feminists say they want?.
and people wondering why Zoosexuality exists when laws like that is passed, at least a female animal at most wants a ear scratch or a petting the next day, not accusing you of rape if she regret it or changed her mind about it. (i read up on it when my country banned it in 2014, and it was many strange and contradicting information about it. (and no im not gonna give my opinion about it, this blog is about what Firesight wrote))
Why do I get the feeling that eventually noones going to want to be with a woman if its more trouble than its worth?
3077611
Alright, I read that. Will you read this? The email that Victor Zen is rebutting in the article I just linked brings up the same points you do and links to one of the same articles.
3077158
What happened?
3078697 Jon had a Tumblr called ask Princess Molestia. Someone took umbrage and said it incited rape culture. Quite the shit storm.
Yeah, feminism is a great movement.
When it's done right. Feminism itself( and correct me if I'm wrong I'm digging out the old files in my brain) was a movement for gender equality.
Not for promoting men as sex crazed rapists who are the devil's spawn. It's a ironic because feminism stands for gender equality and these 'feminists' are trying to put women above men just like men did to women before.
3078530 I read it and I don't really notice it rebutting anything, it points out some specific things that are not an indication of societal norms. The goal is to uplift women to the same position as men, not drag men down below women. The game is rigged in favor of men, If you think women should be treated equally then you are a feminist.
Everyone wants to find their own happiness. Please extend the same courtesy to women.
3079953
Two things:
Firstly, nobody here is denying or wishes to deny woman the right to find their own happiness.
That's a variation on an all-too-familiar smear, where if you disagree with feminism, you are said to be anti-woman. That's very lazy thinking. Do not fall into it.
Secondly, I can oppose a movement as a whole while still believing in some of its tenets. I can decide that a movement or group does more harm than good and should be fought while still agreeing with some of its stated goals. There's nothing wrong or inconsistent about that, and it doesn't mean I'm fighting against the goals I agree with. It does mean I categorically disagree with the tactics being employed, and perhaps even feel the end goal is no longer what they state.
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Yes, women get the short end of the stick in many if not most places around the world. But current feminist tactics hurt, not help, that cause. What good are you doing if you're alienating men and making it so they're afraid to even ask a girl out? What purpose is served by 'trigger warnings' and screaming about a 'rape culture' that doesn't exist, ruining careers and reputations in the process? How are you helping anyone when men "Go Galt" because there's too much risk and no reward in dating and marriage, where it's very rare for a court or society to side with them? And what does it say about a movement as a whole when it spends time tearing down a great scientific achievement like landing a probe on a comet over the shirt a scientist was wearing?
And that's to say nothing of the 'War on Women" bullshit routinely employed by feminists and democrats to smear conservatives and scare up votes, which I'm sorry to say has worked in the past. But at some point, you're alienating more people than you're attracting, and you're hurting far more people than you're helping. Far as I'm concerned, that line was passed long ago. Whatever good things the movement has done, it's now eclipsed by the damage it's causing, not just to men but to women as well.
3077243 That article was excellent. Cheers!
3077611 Article one. So basically I'm a feminist then — Gloria Steinem herself said so. Article two: Amazing, not one single reference to unequal laws. I should also mention that unless you're a feminist, you've probably not assumed a connection between racism and bigotry against gays with Pat Robertson rubbishing feminism because he's an old buffoon. As such, that information is completely irrelevant to those outside the bubble.
3077659 and people wondering why Zoosexuality exists when laws like that is passed, at least a female animal at most wants a ear scratch or a petting the next day, not accusing you of rape if she regret it or changed her mind about it.
This is a cry from the very bowels of despair. My soul is harrowed at the sight of it. This is the most tragic statement I have ever read on the internet. Nothing in all of Fallout Equestria could have prepared me for such complete and utter futility. I cannot properly articulate my sympathy for your plight. We are all better off dead collectively than to exist in such a state of solitude.
Can I be far behind?
ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/despair.jpg
3077768 islamist did it ! so all americans die within a few generations ! i tell you ! XDDD
3077611 thumbed down, equal rights for everyone to piss everyone, *dealwithit.jpg*
what happens to the times when world hunger or landmines were a thing ? anyway, best reason yet to not visit the states ever.
Responding to the same tired rhetoric is exhausting and I was here to voice an opinion that I find the portrayal of Earth to be exceedingly unrealistic in the stories setting. It is more than a bit mind numbing to realize I am talking to anti-feminists on a My Little Pony fan fiction website.
I'm sorry, but if you want peer reviewed articles with links everywhere to research studies, I'm not here to hold your hand. Those articles were broad overviews. There is clearly no point in posting further links to information here.
3080717
There’s too much to say to fit it all here (and also, I don't wish to get bogged down in another lengthy debate – for that reason, replies may be sparse), but I will note that whilst your post and replies are heavy on thoughts, they’re lacking in evidence to back them. Now, I know it isn’t a dissertation and it doesn’t need sourced links every other line, but a couple examples or citations would’ve been appreciated.
Just a couple questions, then.
First: Why do you oppose trigger warnings? They’re just a form of “content warning” to advise those about to read something that it may contain descriptions of things that might make them uncomfortable, depending on their personal thresholds and experiences. (Heck, they’re standard fare in academic courses that deal with subject matter that can be disturbing to students.) You wouldn’t want someone recovering from rape trauma to stumble across a graphic depiction of sexual assault; thus, it’s the decent thing to add a “TW: Rape” at the top. It’s quick, painless, and really just a basic principle of good communication. I have to wonder where the opposition to its use comes from – as if making a token effort to avoid upsetting people were somehow a bad thing. (Note that I’m not talking about anyone who might somehow abuse the use of TWs, since your words denote an opposition to TWs in general.)
Second: If “rape culture” doesn’t exist, then how do you explain the facts that A) women are raped at a rate many times greater than men, B) women are often blamed for their own rapes (usually because of what clothes they were wearing), and C) women’s rape claims are so habitually dismissed (in part due to the baseless brouhaha about a supposed plague of false rape accusations) that only a tiny fraction ever make it to court, whereas the men who rape are often given a pass (and if they’re sports players, then they’re practically treated as heroes)?
I will say that “rape culture” isn’t a great term – any term that needs to be explained for people to understand it isn’t ideal for use in social awareness – but to deny the existence of the climate of victim-blaming it refers to is a whole other thing.
I wouldn’t call you anti-feminist or sexist or any of those things; after all, I don’t know you. If you believe in basic gender equality – equal pay for equal work, equal rights and protections, equal representation, all that fine jazz – then you’re a feminist by definition. But your points do exhibit the sadly typical misinformed attitude towards “modern” feminism (which really isn’t much different from older forms, just with more sex-talk). I’d suggest, if you’re amenable to it, that you take the time to read the actual words of actual modern feminists – Feministing, Skepchick, Geekologie, etc. (to list only a few I know of; and not that you should agree with everything they write – I don’t – but it’s a good start nonetheless) – rather than what’s commonly said about them, little of which is usually true.
Do misandrists and kooky radicals exist? Of course. Every group has its fringe. But the prevalence of those crazies is deeply disproportionate to how widespread they’re made to appear by all the antifeminist mudslinging. That’s why their appearance in Five Star Service felt so jarring to me, particularly how it was handled. They should’ve just been refuted and dismissed, as they would be in real life – hell, I’d bet richly they’d be shouted down in the audience by other feminists. But it was instead implied that they and their arguments were actually representative of feminists in general (modern or otherwise).
To make a blunt comparison, it’s similar to how Christians are often lumped in with loudmouthed clowns like Jerry Falwell and the Westboro Baptist Church, or how over a billion Muslims are treated as terrorists or terrorist sympathizers because of the acts of their particularly loudmouthed extremist fringe. And so on. There’s very little difference – it’s all equally wrong and absurd.
I know this likely won’t sway anyone (not that it was intended to), but it’s been eating at me for a few days and I thought I’d finally get it off my chest.
… And to think I was trying to be brief.
I'm with you in hating the 3rd wave feminism.
It's become this weird cult-like "you're either with us or against us" dynasty. I don't hate feminists in general, because there are some feminists who do follow the equality roots of the movement, but more often than not feminism breeds some of the craziest people imaginable. Most current dragons they are raising their swords against are portrayal of women in media and rape culture (not including the make-believe wage gap).
Rape is one of the hardest cases to prosecute since it's basically just one persons word against the other. Rape is a really downer subject, lots of people just feel comfortable hearing the word, so I don't get this ridiculous concept of rape culture. Even "She was asking for it" has become a punch line for jokes because everyone with a brain knows that's not reason to sexually assault anyone. But most feminisim gives off this high and mighty and insulting narrative like every guy is proto-predeator and every woman is a potential-victim when that simply isn't true.
As for the portrayal of women in media. My biggest problem with the recent theme of gender politicing in video games/comics/movies is feminists today have the wrong idea about Equality in its totality. Equality isn't everybody working to solving your problems. Women this, strong female character that. NO! All equality is, is making sure you get the same opportunity as everyone else. It shouldn't guarantee however, that you can still get your way no matter what choice you make. That isn't equality. Complaining about representation in media...HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EQUALITY. While some might like the discussion, it kinda lowers everything to this petty level. If everyone has equal opportunity, who gives a damn what a videogame/movie/comic shows? Or anything fictional. Games/videogames/comics are a form of escapism and power fantasy for everybody, the protagonist would of course be an aspirational archetype that exemplifies that.
I just realized this thread doesn't have the Anthem of "glorious" Third-Wave feminism attached to it. Need to fix that...
It's not just good, it's double-plus good!