Well, here's that story that the mods cried about and deleted. Happy Easter, faggots. · 4:44am Apr 7th, 2015

All throughout Ponyville, the ponies slept in their little pony beds, dreaming of Easter and all its joys. Of rabbits and eggs and so many toys. Why, the very thought of Easter sent their little hearts aflutter, but there was one who hated this day like none other. His name was Jesus and from the Everfree he slunk. He thought the whole holiday was nothing but junk, and in their bunks the ponies slept unaware he had risen. For it was the third day, and Jesus was naughty as sin.

"I hate their Easter," Jesus said with a sneer, "I hate their Easter trees, their Easter eggs and Easter ears. Their holiday's all wrong, it's not about me one bit. If this holiday can't be mine than no one can have it!"

He had a wicked idea, an idea most fowl, and he suppressed a cruel snicker as he skulked quiet as an owl. He had fashioned a disguise that would trick all the fools in this place, for he was dressed as the Easter Bunny, with tall ears and lace. He carried a basket and he carried colorful eggs. And he hopped through the grass on fur-suit clad legs.

It wasn't long at all until he reached the first house. He opened the window, quiet as a mouse, and snuck inside on tiptoes light enough to walk across water. The inhabitants were resting and he didn't want them to be a bother. He went into the main room with hardly a peep, careful not to rouse the ponies who were fast asleep. Tucked into their beds and dreaming of the morn', they were excited for jellybeans, peeps and candy corn. They were excited for all the wrong things, their Easter was all wrong, and Jesus was determined that it wouldn't last long.

As he slithered into the room and eyed their decorated Easter tree, his smirk only widened with sadistic glee. He reached up with his long arms and plucked the Easter star from its roost, and he snatched the hard-boiled eggs and the Easter roasted goose. He tossed them into his basket, with room to spare. And he did it all quick, as swift as a hair. He unhooked the Easter stalkings and snatched the nick-nacks within, he took all the decorations not even leaving a pin. Into his basket he stuffed the Easter presents and more, he even stole the Easter wreath from outside the door.

Nothing was left but the old Easter tree, standing heavy and stiff, it was taller than me! But Jesus cared not, for his basket was far from full, and he fit the whole thing in by some miracle. He was so distracted there that he hardly noticed at all, as a tiny little pony had come down the hall.

"Easter Bunny?" he asked, seeing the figure in the dark, and Jesus froze up, as stiff as the Easter tree's bark.

He angled his head and took a quick peek, and noted the pony was tiny and weak. Jesus was no longer afraid, and he cleared his throat to speak, "indeed I'm the Easter Bunny you seek."

The little pony was ecstatic, he'd always known the Easter bunny was real, and he knew the huge bunny couldn't resist a late-night Easter meal. "I made you some turkey, and green eggs and ham. I made you one fish, two fish, Sam I am."

But Jesus wasn't hungry for fish red or blue, no he wasn't even hungry for a fox or a shoe. Instead he reached out, quick as a flash, grabbing the pony by the long hairs from its ass. "You ponies are foolish, my hunger can't be sated by such trivial means. Instead I'll devour your flesh, and liver and spleen. I'll dine on your eyeballs and feast on your skin, and I'll sip from your heart again and again. I'll crush your bones and spread your marrow on bread, I'll savor your organs and devour your head."

Jesus was starving and he loved all the little children, especially at night, red and yellow black and white, all the children in sight. If you thought he dressed like he did to trick the ponies you've been mislead, for you see, Jesus had a few screws loose in his head. He was actually a furry, his furrsona an anthromorphic bunny. No really, I'm serious, don't laugh it's not funny.

As he handled the child, his grin twisted to its prime, he began to unzip his fly to commit an unforgivable crime. It's common knowledge that furries are pedophiles, and bronies their ilk, and this feast was for both hunger and the releasing of 'milk'. He pulled out his 'good book', his 'captain's log' so to speak, it was danker than memes, oh man did it reek! And as long as an arm, Jesus was hung. His balls were like melons, he is his Father's son.

"I hope you know what comes next," Jesus taunted the poor soul, "I'm gonna pee in your butt 'til your colon is full." But actions speak louder than words, and Jesus' whispered voice was drowned out as he did unspeakable things to the youngin', sticking it like a trout. He took its virginity in more ways than one, the whole time Jesus laughed, having loads of fun, and soon enough the little pony was dead. There are few alive who can handle Jesus' head.

As he munched on the corpse, his member staying stark, he moved on to the next home, a shadow in the dark. He would ruin Easter for all, of that he could guarantee, the ponies would come to fear him, or rather, they'd fear the Easter Bunny. Jesus has always been the bunny, and he used candy to lure the children to his lair, but the truth hurts the most, it just wasn't fair. He would change this dumb Easter and get rid of his angst..............

Report Good Christian Ethesto · 325 views ·

Comments ( 6 )