Luna Reviews FIM S3: 08. Just for Sidekicks · 1:46am Dec 18th, 2014
Here, let me summarize the entire episode in one sentence: The writers think Spike is so incredibly stupid that he doesn’t deserve to do anything worthwhile with his life ever again.
On second thought, that summarizes the show’s entire approach to Spike-centered episodes, so I’ve saved you the trouble of watching any of them.
Hope: It bothers me that the writers seem to have received a brief description of Spike, and based their portrayal of him entirely off of the phrase “Baby dragon who is Twilight Sparkle’s number one assistant.” In the future I will let you know if a Spike episode is worth watching.
Notes
00:11: Oh, are we introducing Spike’s pet phoenix in this episode?
01:34: And we’re mocking the little guy right from the intro. This is going to hurt.
01:47: And here we see Granny Smith and Big MacIntosh Apple setting up their stand for the daily sale of produce. The animators have done a poor job of making those apples look good.
02:47: Oh, the Equestria Games! I hope they spend more than just this episode on that. I happen to know of a particularly interesting development that will be unveiled at this year’s games.
03:07: (Fluttershy panics when Spike bi-locates.) One of the traits I most prize in Spike is his subtlety, as evidenced by this fact: everypony remarks on Pinkie’s remarkable abilities to do seemingly impossible things yet Spike, who picked up about half of those impossible talents just by observing her closely, is almost never caught out on his own feats.
03:33: Two things to observe here: First of all, Fluttershy is disturbingly agile at manipulating ponies into doing what she wants through the power of self-denial, and Angel is actually afraid of being sat by Spike! My impression previously was that the bunny only felt contempt for the dragon.
03:43: Oh, it’s Owlicious that Angel is intimidated by. OK, that makes sense.
03:48: See? She is so good at that.
04:22: Of course, the Equestria Games are not being held in the Crystal Empire in reality, because there is no Crystal Empire. No, they’re being held in Ponyville, and it’s curious that the writers have so invested in their new location that they have taken away some possible juicy plotlines from a hometown games.
05:31: Rarity’s voluminous instructions are a complete waste of time. I can tell you with two rules how to take care of Opal: Give her everything she wants before she thinks to ask for it, and the more she frowns, the more you have to smile back at her. And she’ll still give you a negative evaluation at the end of the dream day.
05:33: There, the animators perfectly illustrated Opal’s second rule: She batted Tank on the head, Tank smiled back at her, and she instantly put him on her friends list.
05:44: Rarity tosses a half-bit gem into Spike’s cup: Hey! This isn’t Rainbow Dash we’re dealing with here! There’s no way that she would have been that stingy.
06:30: Don’t be fooled in this scene into thinking that Spike’s doing so well with Pinkie because Gummy is a fellow “reptile”. First, dragons are about as closely related to common reptiles as humans are, but more importantly, Spike has always seemed to have a special rapport with Pinkie Pie. I think there could be an excellent episode in the making if you put them both on the same task, especially if the writers were willing to entertain the idea of not making it a pure comedy.
08:05: Absolutely nothing need be said of the half-second shared between Rainbow Dash and Tank. Mostly because the fan art that will flood the internet in the next day will do it all for me.
09:14: So, is there any reason to even watch the rest of this episode? Because I think I caught a repeat of First, Last and Every Sitcom Ever Made with the exact same premise.
11:21: “We’re getting our skydiver’s cutie marks today.” At last! I was wondering when they’d finally figure out that skydiving was their special talent. And all that had to happen was for all of the responsible adults to disappear. (Oh, and the stereotypical fifteen minutes of repetitive chaos appears to have been condensed into about two.)
13:00: “Has anybody seen Tank’s head?” I am massively disappointed in Spike for falling for that.
13:35: (Industrial-size pet hair dryer.) That...is odd.
13:40: Oh, it’s her! The patient who was writing me letters every month inviting me to tea inside her head. She doesn’t look nearly as bad as she told me.
15:49: The CMC are about to base jump. That wasn’t what I had in mind! And where are all the responsible adults? (Oh, and stereotypical chaos is still happening, it’s just spread out more.)
16:33: “Next stop, the Crystal Empire?” The writer has no sense of geography, whatsoever. But then, this is the line that scientifically appeared overnight, so why not?
17:39: The CMC use a feather to get past a sub adult dragon: I may be sick to my stomach. Can’t this character get any respect?
21:35: And then the idiot eats the last gem: Alright, that’s it. I’m officially calling a moratorium on Spike episodes.
A Pinkie-Spike team-up episode? Wow. I never even knew I wanted that until now, but that actually sounds like great fun. Especially if they slip into some forgotten subdimension and must frantically race back to Equestria, Spike astride Pinkie as they carve a path through the maddened hordes with fire, hooves, and reality warping...
Great, as if I didn't have enough story ideas.
Poor Spike, always being the butt monkey of the serie. 'Spike at your service' is even worse! Whenever he's only in the background he seems super competant at his duty but the momeny he gets focus he turns into a spagethi-armed trouble magnet who can't even make two steps without tripping over his own shadow!!
It's ridiculous!
That's one problem with Spike's depiction in the series: One minute, he's the most competent assistant around, but leave him alone for too long and he suddenly becomes Kevin James from "The King of Queens". It's inconsistent as hell. At least in the comics, love them or hate them, he actually is pretty competent (he fights off giant cockatrices with Celestia and helps free the Mane 6 during the Night Mare Rarity saga). I really hope there's a Spike centered episode in Season 5 that actually shows him being far more competent than a lot of the other episodes have.
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(McPoodle in 2021): I notice that you still haven't written that one...
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As I said then, I have far more ideas than I do time or wherewithal to turn them into stories.