I FIGURED IT OUT! · 3:27am Nov 14th, 2014
Hey guys, after a lot of thought, I finally figured out what was missing! to those of you who threw out your suggestions, thanks a ton for everything. it really helped me get my head back into the game.
Anyway, I finished editing, and I'm going to post it now before my prereaders have had a chance to look at the the improved article (I'm just that pumped over figuring out what I was missing). To those of you who have already read it, you may want to take another look, because I made a very serious change to the story. Enjoy!
Gald you were able to figure it out. Off to go read the new version.