Aug
25th
2014
For those concerned with Twilight's language in my latest story: · 5:08pm Aug 25th, 2014
Initially, I didn't think anything of it. But several people have made some good points about Twilight's foul language, attitude, and emotional state going all over the place. While I won't be changing the first chapter, I will be making a plot point about it in future chapters of Crusade's End.
Anyway, just wanted people to know. Thank you for the constructive criticism, it's given me GREAT ideas on how to improve the story.
Perhaps Spike could give her the "What the Hell, Hero?" speech.
1. What happened with your fan-fiction is a common error with amateur (and of course by default inclusion, fan-fiction) writing. So you should not feel too bad or discouraged from making such an error, but take a lesson of Humility and writing improvement from it.
2. In general, many think they need such overabundant "cunt fucking" profanity, or CAPSLOCK, or extra exclamations!!!!!, to portray a raging mood. This is, in-turn, generally incorrect. Such overuse instead harms the overall story quality because the Author is, in the literary sense, taking a large air-horn can and blaring it right into the reader's face. Does it call attention? Obviously. Do people enjoy having it blared into their face? Probably not.
3. In the case of FiMfiction fan-fiction writing, many Authors think they need to highlight certain speech patterns of characters. The most notable characters being Applejack and Princess Luna. A common error is overstuffing each character's speaking lines with a country accent (Applejack) or Ye Olde English (Princess Luna). This winds up hurting the characters' portrayal because the Author is trying to shove the character speech pattern down the readers' throats rather than flavor the speech pattern.
4. The guideline to avoid these writing errors is simple enough: Be conservative with using profanity &/or alternative speech patterns.
Think of the guideline this way: French fries and salt. The "trick" is that you the Author are serving the French fries to the reader audience, not eating it yourself. Which do you think will (overall) sell more fries? Lightly dusting the batch of French fries, so there is just a hint of saltiness? Or dumping the entire shaker into the batch of French fries to the point of visibly seeing salt-white on each fry?
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Hope this helps.
2400162
Good point. After all, there's a coldly rational fury that's a lot scarier than being all three faces of Eve.
to those who complain... dilligaf
Ya the language was a little much. Except when directed at Diamond Tiara, fuck that bitch.
2401443 Agreed.
You know, bad language is not a trigger
2401443 speaking of DT why was she there... no really why is she there? that swearing achieved nothing other than just one F U to DT. I think swearing was needless and unnecessary.
2405715
You do make a valid point on why was she there. Judging by the layout of the story the whole town was there.