Abomination: Made a few adjustments (read story again to see them or read blog for what I changed) · 6:44pm Jul 9th, 2014
I didn't expect the story to be this big. But I'm glad it did. First off, thank you for reading this story and saying your opinions. They are always welcomed whether they are positive or negative.
Now unlike some writers, I do read all my criticism. Sometimes the people who say problems with my story are things I do take to heart and adjust to make it better provided it doesn't change the overall story. And in this case there are a few good pointers some people have listed in the comments. If you want to see them for yourself you can read the story again. Otherwise, they are mentioned below
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I have adjusted the sentencing of Applejack to 30 years with a possible parole after 15 years of jail, this was the original idea that I had, my fault for not going through with it XP. I have also changed it so that Discord was punished for his actions against Tirek but managed to earn a pardon based on a later action. I was gonna mention that in the sequel to this, and there will be more details to it, but I figured it be best to adjust the story anx put it in now. Finally, there are others who I mentioned that have attempted to do similar actions that Applejack did or threats that are also in jail as well.
I liked the story I really do but... I'm sorry but each time I read it I just feel angry and I don't know why. Maybe it's how the others are reacting to her and how heinous the crime or maybe it's the fact that without AJ no more Elements of Harmony or whatever the Mane 6 are now or maybe it's the sheer fact that, again, Discord betrayed them all and yet he's exiled but one help with the Changelings later he gets a slap on the wrist that says "YOU'RE FREE TO GO!" Or maybe it's that no matter what happens AJ is more or less gonna commit suicide and then EVERYPONY who ever did care for her is going to show up and say how sorry they are then about her when they had the chance to show up to her cell like Fluttershy, THE FREAKING MOTHER, did and just vent their frustrations and hear why she did it? I don't know but all in all it's a good story but just not my cup of tea. So 4/5. Not my cup of tea but I do recommend to others who like these type of stories.
Though I did not favorite this story, it was quite a unique tale to read none of the less. I only regreted upon reading the comments first because of my own reluctance over reading sad, tragedy, and/or dark stories and thus spoiling the identity of the criminal for me.
Anyway, despite AJ giving in to her own fears and hatred, I am glad that she did show remorse over her crime even before her sentence and she accepted her severe punishment. Personally, I feel sorry for her in so many ways.
You sir, have once again proven the mastery of your own craft by continously pulling our heartstrings. Well done.
I thought it was good. I was just waiting for the sequel. We need more AJ-masochism.
I thought life in prison was a bit harsh. So I'm glad you change it
Yeah. I thought life in prison for attempting to murder a pony was a bit unreasonable. Attempting to kill but failing would lighten the charges due to the fact that manslaughter has lighter charges than murder. Also, she plead guilty. Therefore, depending on who the jury is, they may lighten it. Even with a sterner jury, it would be with parole. That was the fault I found.
Umm, care to do a continuation?
I hope that you do, so much potential....
2272189
I will
2272247 Yay for ya then mate :D
I'M still hoping to see a follow-up story in which an older Loptr meets Applejack
and, actually shocks her by forgiving her, and wanting to be her friend.
AGAIN: that scenario is extremely unlikely..but, the unlikeliness makes it THAT interesting.