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So I'm sitting on 4000-ish words... · 8:39pm May 6th, 2014

It's not the whole chapter, but it is a healthy chunk and larger than a portion of releases I have done before. I'm thinking I might release every 4000 words or so, just to keep the releases consistent.

However, I'm a little afraid this might appear like I'm dragging it out, or trying to play the system for the most exposure, which is certainly NOT my motivation. What do you think? Should I make those consistent releases after every 4000 words until this last chapter is done?

Report SlyWit · 643 views · Story: Paradise ·
Comments ( 27 )

It's hard to say without knowing what the contents of the chapter are. On the other hand, chapter boundaries can be a fuzzy and there are probably more opportunities for chapter ending that chapter endings. For example, a chapter break could probably have gone in after Celestia jumps off that cliff or after she learns she had wings.

4000 words is a respectable chapter length. If you spot somewhere natural to put a chapter break, I say go for it.

Enjoying the re-read, by the way. I can't wait to get to the new stuff (if only life would give me more time to just read).

go for it, that way I don't forget what happened before hand :twilightsmile:

Previously, my mentality for the chapter lengths had been that each chapter should contain it's own mini-story arc, kind of like an episode from a TV show. It wasn't always successful because some chapters grew too large and I had to break it up, but if you look over the previous stuff, I think you'll find that kind of semi-episodic mindset.

This next set? I'd be effectively releasing every chapter break. It wouldn't have the as satisfying conclusion, it'd be like a series of cliff-hangers.

Do whatever is best for you and the story.

However, I'm a little afraid this might appear like I'm dragging it out, or trying to play the system for the most exposure, which is certainly NOT my motivation.

You had over a year long hiatus on the story, I don't believe anyone would claim you are doing this and if they do ignore them.

whatever you find aids in the creation. though if you have extra special chapters in mind they should be a bit longer.

2083261 Well, if you're going for an episodic sort of feel, there're still breaks for commercials right? Everybody's gotta have a bathroom break. (but more seriously, a good break point needn't be a concluding moment. I'd definitely avoid having every chapter ending on a cliffhanger though... those can start wearing on a reader)

As for playing the system. Meh. Go for it. It's made to be taken advantage of anyways, right?

I say play the system like its your bitch.

Last chapter? Is the 20th already the end of the story?
Also, have you already begun to change the first chapters? Because I will download all the chapters that are there until now to preserve the original version.

Oh no. Not the end of the story. Beginning of haitus. A hopefully shorter hiatus. You can save the chapter if you like, I'll be keeping my own copy of the originals anyways.

Can you tell something about it what you will change and detail the changes more?

I have to be honest, the thought that you change the early chapters makes me feeling uneasy.
Even when I haven't read the story yet, because you started way before I came into the fandom, I'd rather see it stay like it is.
Altering something means always also to loose something.
And I can't see what changes in the fandom shoud make it necessary to change the story to make it understandable.
A change in the fandom doesn't need to be reflected in a fanfiction, because the plot of a story doesn't rely on the events going on in the fandom.
You also don't have to change the story to make it fitting to new developments in Season 4 or something.
The story would still work, even if something should be contradicted by the show by now. It's just another view and how it could have happened and this is what fanfictions are there for after all.
Can't you just keep it the way it is? The way it's written is a big piece of brony history after all, as one of the first big fanfictions. :fluttershysad:

You know, actually I was going to be rather upfront with the changes, but when I was discussing it, I was advised to play it close to the chest. I think this adviser (who is one of the smartest people I know) means well, but just happens to be not quite that well informed on things. But even so, I sided with him because I don't stand to lose much for heeding him. Just a bit of mystery for awhile from hopefully loyal readers who will forgive me such things.

As for the changes ... I suppose I can say that they are based on the fandom, so much as they are personal reasons to pursue such changes.

Why do you not just upload the story a second time as alternate version of it, after you changed the chapters?
Your personal reasons may be important to you, but to your fans the story, as they got to know to it, is important too.
As well as preserving the original version here as part of brony history.
Altering chapters of a story that was already read by many people, that felt in love with the original version they read first, is just not right.

I think I understand a bit better now where you're coming from. You can correct me if I'm wrong. You'd wish that this piece of fan history be well preserved for fans to always come back to and keep as something they've treasured.

I'll certainly be saving the originals, so they won't be lost. We can talk again after I show you the changes, because the conversation won't be productive until that's done and you can see what I'm thinking. I am concerned with how people will take the changes. Very concerned, actually. So, I know there will be a lot of talking later, where I'll do my best to make sure people don't harbor negative feelings for it.

I guess right now, it'll have to be a wait-and-see approach.

Well, yeah, that's what I meant.
I just mean, if you're already willing to preserve the original and don't want to get rid of it, you just could follow my suggestion and upload it as alternate version.
Especially when you already know that your readers will be concerned about the changes.
I just mean you should keep the original version online somehow, optimally here on FIMFiction.net.

May I ask what is the exact reason for this changes?

>May I ask what is the exact reason for this changes?
I have to be vague again and get back to you on that.

I'm the kind of person that likes to reread the series anyway. I've done so multiple times just because I wanted to read something and I like this story. Since I'll reread again anyway, my only concern is how much effect the changes will have on the story. For instance, is it going to be like some cleanup with a couple things added in, or is it going to be like one of the major revisions of Past Sins and change a ton of stuff?

I'll honestly reread it either way, because as I said, I enjoy rereading stories. However, I'm apparently a small minority on that front, so the less the changes have in common with Past Sins revisions the better.

Now, on the matter of chapters. I enjoy reading long chapters, but frequent short chapters are better than infrequent long ones in my opinion. The only thing is if there's going to be a lot of cliffhangers, then I'm not so sure. Cliffhangers can be great sometimes, but if there's too many of them it can start to drag and become tedious. So if it seems like you have a good place to cut the chapter in two without losing much of anything, I say go for it.

I am curious about these Past Sins changes. I don't know much about them, I ended up skipping that story as it got harder to keep up with things being written. I know that Past Sins was controversial, and that he made a lot of changes at one point to respond to criticism. I'm guessing those changes weren't well received?

Well, the changes weren't too bad, and I think the story is probably better now than when it started out, but I don't know how others feel about it. What I meant was that a couple of those revisions changed stuff to the point that the story needed to be read again because things had changed rather drastically. So if the changes are going to cause a reread to be necessary, then it might annoy people, but otherwise it should be fine.

Ok. But I still say you shouldn't do that and upload the revised chapters as new story here.
Or at least uploading every rewritten chapter additionally to the original ones here, like:

Chapter 1 (Old)
Chapter 1 (New)

Chapter 2 (Old)
Chapter 2 (New)

And so on.
I don't know what reasons do you have to do something like that and it's probably something big, otherwise you wouldn't do something that drastical, but you shouldn't replace the original version here, no matter what your reasons are, this is just not right what you want to do here.
Even when you have your good reasons for it, this is no apology for taking away the original version from the public, your current readers and your future readers, that will just discover your story here and that will sure be interested to read a old story from the early days and not a revised one, when they hear that "Paradise" is one of the first big fanfic's of the brony fandom.
I urge you to keep the original chapters up here and to not alter them here. If not for you, then do it for the brony history that your story already shaped.
Please, keep them like they are!

>>>For instance, is it going to be like some cleanup with a couple things added in, or is it going to be like one of the major revisions of Past Sins and change a ton of stuff?<<<

What, Past Sins was revised and changed? So, the first, original version of this story is not existing anymore? Please tell me that this is not true!
I haven't read this story yet, because it was before my time here as well, but I still would find a change dramatical.
When I read a fanfiction from which I know that it's one of the old and popular MLP: FiM fanfictions from the early days, then I want to read the real, original version, not a version with changes and it would completely destroy my fun when I know while reading that this is not the real "Past Sins" anymore, only a shadow of the real one.
Please tell me the original story was kept online by the author! :applecry:

I don't know if the original version of each chapter can be found anywhere, but reading those would make it difficult to read Past Sins at all. Assuming you were to find the original versions, you'd only get to about chapter 10, maybe 13, before you'd basically have to stop. After chapter 13 came out, the revision came and it changed the story enough that the original versions of chapter 14 and beyond are telling the story quite differently. If you want to see it the way it was when it was first finished, there's a PDF called "Past Sins eReader" on Deviantart. The version on Fimfiction is a revised version of that, which had some stuff put in to make the story fit with season 2.

I would consider the version in this PDF the "first, original version" personally, but only because in order to read the entire thing as a story, this is the version that you have to read. I suppose the original 13 chapters would be the true first version, but they don't segue into the rest of the story as it was originally written. I know I have the original 13 in PDF form somewhere though, if you really want to read those.

So, this means, after Chapter 13, Season 2 came out and he wrote all chapters from 14 on so that the events will coincide with the events in Season 2?
But I don't see how this should have made a change necessary. It makes perfectly sense to imagine that the first 13 chapters play during or between the events of Season 1 and all the others during or between the events of Season 2.
Only because something new happens, this doesn't mean that older events from earlier have to be altered.
I can't understand this decision. I hope I can really hunt down the old version. :fluttershysad:

Edit: I looked it up on Deviantart and the version contains 22 chapters as well.
Shouldn't it only be the first 13 chapters if it's the first version of the story?
I don't think the creator of this file would add the new chapters to the original ones, should they really not fit together anymore.

I think Past Sins changed the beginning because it was becoming very widely criticized. Controversially criticized. People either loved it as the best fanfic, or hated it with fiery passion, and Pen Stroke tried to listen/appease the hatred by responding to their biggest points.

At least, that's what I think by just listening to the wind that was going on at that time.

Ok, maybe I read some wrong things between the lines here now, but normally I'm kinda good at these sort of things, so, I assume you got harsh critics for "Paradise" and this is the reason why you want to change it, right?
If so, then I say: BUCK IT!
It's your story and when I look at the views and likes it got, it's loved by many, many people like it is and people that want to keep it that way.
So, ignore the neighsayers and nit-pickers and just keep it as it is. It's an excellent story, there are no changes needed.
I haven't read it yet, but when I look at all the popularity it gained, this is a clear case.

No no no, the eReader has the story as it was when it was first completed. It was revised as a whole later, in order to fit with season 2, and that version is here on fimfiction. The revision of the first thirteen chapters didn't make it fit with season 2, since this happened during the hiatus between the seasons. The revision was made to change the way the characters were portrayed, because at the time they were not interesting and the story didn't have much of a reason to go where it was going. That eReader file was being updated as the story was, so I have a couple different versions saved on my personal hard drive somewhere, but I have been unable to find those incomplete versions anywhere online. Hopefully that cleared up what I was saying before; I'm not too great at explaining things, especially late at night.

And yes, there was another revision later that was made in order to flesh out a couple of the characters even more (I believe this happened around chapters 18 and 19). This is what Slywit is referring to, as a bunch of people were saying that the main character was too much of a Mary Sue, so Pen Stroke went back and added in some tidbits to make her seem more like a real and interesting character. Whether or not this worked depends on who you ask.

>so, I assume you got harsh critics for "Paradise" and this is the reason why you want to change it, right?
No, I haven't really had any major criticisms for Paradise. Just like I said, wait and see. I'm not sure anything productive can be reached discussing it until a later date.

So, this means there are three different versions of this story now?

The first one, like it was written from the beginning.
A revised version, that was made between Season 1 and Season 2.
And a completely revised version, that was done after Season 2 and after the story was finished, to make it fit to the Season 2 events.

Did I got that right?

My fear is that it's TOO late later on, because the damage I try to prevent here is already done. :facehoof:

I personally don't really consider the original first thirteen chapters their own version because the story wasn't done yet, and most books go through lots of alterations and revisions before being published, but yeah that's accurate.

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