• Member Since 21st Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen May 30th, 2014

Sergeant Sprinkles

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  • 343 weeks
    I won't be around much longer

    This is a news post for my fans...

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  • 345 weeks
    Completed Sneak Peek

    Chapter 1- The Beginning of the End?

    Mayor Mare's eyes drifted close for the last time, and Pinkie Pie smiled. She had always wanted to find out what her cupcakes would taste like if she cooked the pony first, and now she would find out. 'Who knows, it could create the perfect cupcake.' Pinkie mused to herself.

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    35 comments · 752 views

Completed Sneak Peek · 2:45am Apr 25th, 2014

Chapter 1- The Beginning of the End?

Mayor Mare's eyes drifted close for the last time, and Pinkie Pie smiled. She had always wanted to find out what her cupcakes would taste like if she cooked the pony first, and now she would find out. 'Who knows, it could create the perfect cupcake.' Pinkie mused to herself.

If she thought about it hard enough, it seemed like she could relive the events of tonight all over again.

Earlier that day

Mayor Mare walked down the street towards Sugarcube Corner. The ponies of Poniville were out and about cleaning up after last night's big storm. Today was rather pleasant compared to the howling gales of the night.

'I wonder why the weather team lost control of it? Cloud Chaser said that since Rainbow Dash disappeared the weather team has been experiencing some difficulties, but the town was ravaged by this storm.', she thought to herself. 'Maybe I should send a request for more pegasi for our weather team.", she thought as Sugarcube Corner came into view.

Soon she came upon her destination, and she gingerly pushed the door open. She had gotten an invitation to a taste testing for the upcoming anniversery of the town's induction. She walked inside and found that the room was empty, which she found to be slightly odd for this time of day.

"Hello? Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, Pinkie Pie? Is anypony here?", she called out.

"One minute!", came a sing song voice from the kitchen.

Mayor Mare took the time to look around the room. It was decorated with balloons, streamers, and candy dishes filled with a vast assortment of treats were strung about the room. She turned when she heard the door open behind her, and saw a very excited Pinkie Pie.

"You're early Mayor Mare!", she said with a large beaming smile.

"Well Pinkie as mayor, I have to make a good impression."

"You're so early I haven't even finished the samples yet!", Pinkie exclaimed while she hopped up in the air.

"Well, I could come back later. I do have some important paperwork to review.", Mayor Mare said as she turned back towards the door.

"No wait!" Pinkie said quickly, "Why don't you help me instead?", she asked with a smile.

Mayor Mare put her hoof to her chin, "Well I guess I could help.", she said with uncertainty present in her voice, "Although I don't know my way around a kitchen fairly well."

"That's okay, I only need you to get the ingredients."

"Well okay then! Lets get started!"

"Yay! First things first!" Pinkie reached into her mane, "Here! Try this one.", Pinkie said as she presented the mayor with a cupcake.

"Well what's this?", Mayor Mare questioned.

"It's from the first batch," Pinkie lowered her voice to a loud whisper, "I won't tell anypony if you have one now."

Mayor Mare lifted the pastry from Pinkie's hoof and began to eat it whole. She noted that the texture of the cupcake was excellent, and the flavor was simply extrordinary. After she swallowed the morsel she openned her mouth to speak about her findings, but suddenly she felt light headed. The room began to spin, her legs felt like jello, and soon she wasn't even able to stand as a sleepy sensation swept across her body. As her eyes closed, and she drifted into unconscienceness, she saw a pink blurry image get closer, and soon all she could see was an impossilbly large smile.

Chapter 2- Why Pinkie, Why?

Mayor Mare slowly openned her eyes, blinking several times to adjust her sight to the low lighting, and immediately regretted doing so. Even though there was almost no light, except for the single fixture above her, her eyes felt like they were on fire. The air was sickly sweet, but at the same time coppery. She felt a chill run down her spine and she realized that she was laying on a table made of wooden planks.

She tried to move her hoof to sheild her eyes, but found that all of them were securely shackled to the platform that she was on. She resisted against the tight metal shackles for a few seconds before realizing that it was pointless. Suddenly there was a quiet sound coming from some where in front of her. Mayor Mare began to panickally look around, but she couldn't make out anything distiguishable. Finally her vision began to come back into focus and a bouncing Pinkie Pie bounced forth from the darkness that surrounded her.

"Pinkie, you have to help me! I don't know where I am or how I got here, but...", Mayor Mare froze as the memmories from earlier flashed through her mind. "Y...you put me here, didn't you?", she asked in an accusing tone.

Pinkie Pie smiled and hopped up and down excitedly, "Yep! Oh we're going to have soooo much fun mayor now that you're awake, just you wait!"


Pinkie gave a quick nod, "Mmm hmm, lots of it."

"Wh...what about the cupcakes? Th...the samples?"

"Well you see, I need more of the secret ingredient, and you're going to help me get it.", Pinkie said with a beaming smile.

"Secret ingredient? Y...you mean like vanilla or...", Mayor Mare stopped because Pinkie began shaking her head quickly.

"Nooooo silly! Remember what I said earlier? I said I only need you to get the ingredients.", Pinkie Pie stared at the mayor expectantly for a few moments, " The secret ingredient is you!", she added while pointing at Mayor Mare.

"This is all some sort of joke right?", she asked with a weak smile followed by an uncomfortable laugh.

Pinkie Pie shook her head and said, "Nope!", and the mayor stopped laughing.

Fear shot through her body, and Mayor Mare began to take short quick breaths that eventually became sobs. She hung her head and the tears flowed from her eyes directly to the floor and the rest of her body trembled from fright. She continued to sob even after she felt a hoof touch her cheek and slowy lift her head up.

"Awww, please don't cry. Ya know you shouldn't be sad Mayor Mare.", Pinkie said with with a pout, which made Mayor Mare's hopes rise enough to choke back her sobs, "You're going to help me make a lot ponies very happy.", Pinkie stated matter of factly.

"What about me?", she began crying again, "Doesn't my happiness, my life, mean anything?"

"Well of course they do, but well, your number came up so..."

"So I'm going to die because of a number!", Mayor Mare shouted.

Pinkie brought her hoof to her chin and rubbed it, "Yeah.", she nonchalantly stated after she thought about it for a while.

"Why? Just... why?"

Mare Mayor feared that she would die right at this moment. Pinkie Pie stared at the ground for what seemed like hours. She just stood there motionless, and Mayor Mare decided to try and wiggle out of her shackles again, to no avail.

Finally after what seemed like forever in her frightened state of mind, Mayor Mare decided to simply ask Pinkie to release her, "Pinkie Pie? Please, just let me go. I know a great doctor who could help you, but you have to let me go."

Pinkie Pie giggled, "Oh I can't do that silly. I need you."

With that Pinkie Pie bounded off into the darkness and returned pushing a cart that was cloaked. Pinkie Pie grabbed the cloak in her mouth and quickly pulled it off. Mayor Mare's eyes settled on the cart, and through her tears she saw horrible devices. The devices on the cart included a vast array of sharp tools, hammers, and even cork screws. It all appeared to be arranged in order of ablity to cause pain. Upon realizing that these things were meant to be used on her, Mayor Mare's stomach became empty.

"If you think that's neat you should see the rest of the room!", Pinkie gushed as she zipped off into the darkness again.

Mayor Mare heard a click and the rest of the room's lights flashed on. The brilliantly bright light cause Mayor Mare to close her eyes and wait for them to adjust. As she reopenned her eyes, the sight that was before her was something straight out of the horror movies she watched while she attended Canterlot Academy.

Organs, filled with helium and done up with pastels, floated around the room. On the wall was a banner, which was made of tanned pony hides, sported the phrase 'LIFE IS A PARTY' in what appeared to be blood. Streamers made from intestines hung from the ceiling. Skulls of past ponies were gingerly placed about the room, but most were on the wall opposing her. The furniture towards the center of the room was made out of preserved flesh and bones of ponies, but the thing that horrified Mayor Mare the most was the fact that Rainbow Dash was standing right in front of her.

"See? I even brought us a friend to play with!", Pinkie said as she walked up next to Dash.

She placed her hoof on Dash's back and Dash began talking. "Hey mayor! Sorry I haven't been to work lately, but I was just having such an awesome time with Pinkie that I decided that I would never leave!"

"Oh... my... Celestia.", Mayor Mare began to hyperventilate, "You... killed her. You killed...", she broke down into tears once more.

She looked back up into the lifeless eyes of Equestria's fastest flier, and felt a tang of sorrow.

"She was your... your friend. How could you?", her panicked strickened eyes scanned all over the room, "How could you do this to all of these ponies?"

"You see mayor," Pinkie put her forehooves together, "I create smiles and laughter. If that means that in order to do that, somepony has to get hurt then so be it!" she said with a smile. "I turn screams of pain," she held up a hoof, "and anguish," she held up another and rose up till she was standing on her hind hooves, "into other's happiness!" Pinkie Pie used her raised hooves to draw the out line of a smile in the air before resettling them back down onto the floor.

"But it never lasts very long, and well...", she stopped talking and rubbed the back of her head, "For some reason no pony likes my cupcakes without the secret ingredient," she glumily stated, "so I have to keep getting more, so I can keep everypony smiling!", she said with her usual pep.

"But Pinkie Pie...", Mayor Mare was cut short by Pinkie's hoof being jammed roughy into her mouth.

"No more time for questions mayor, it's time to begin!", Pinkie said, causing Mayor Mare's pupils to shrink to the size of pin pricks.

Pinkie bounced over to the cart and grabbed a scalpel. She walked over to Mayor Mare's side and placed it an inch above her cutie mark. Slowly, and with surgeon like precision, Pinkie Pie cut a circle around the tan scroll with a blue ribbon. The pain that Mayor Mare was experiencing now was nothing compared to when Pinkie Pie returned with a curved knife and sliced the circle of hide clean off from Mayor Mare's body. She went to her other side and repeated the process.

"Help me! Please somepony help me!", Mayor Mare screamed.

"Oh mayor," Pinkie said as she placed a comforting hoof on Mayor Mare's cheek, "nopony can hear you.", she said with a warm smile.

Mayor Mare simply cried and watched her cutie marks be thrown onto the cart of tools. She remembered how she had gotten her cutie mark after being elected class president when she was a foal, and cried even harder.

"These will make my dress super special!", Pinkie said brightly as she rubbed the cutie marks on the cart.

Although she was crying still Mayor Mare huffed out a question, "What dress?"

Pinkie Pie beamed and shot off behind Mayor Mare while almost singing, "I'll be right back."

Mayor Mare desperately struggled against her bonds. She had to get out of there or she would die, there was no question about that. She pulled her hooves with all of her might but nothing productive happened. Her hide had began to split and blood trinkled down the metal shackle and onto the platform. She cringed from this new pain slightly, and choked back her sobs until she heard somepony moving behind her.

Pinkie Pie burst into her field of view, and pranced about the room, all the while giggling and smiling as if nothing were wrong. She came to a stop in front of Mayor Mare and motioned towards her 'dress'.

"This is the dress I told you about! I made it myself... well actually I guess you could say I had a lot of help!", Pinkie said as she started looking at each cutie mark staring momentarily at each one, as if she was remmebering something.

As her eyes reached the cutie marks that adorned the puffy shoulders of her dress, Pinkie's eyes seemed to become misty. She sighed slightly and her smile drooped downwards a little, but she remained somewhat peppy.

"Y... you... miss... Rainbow... D... Dash.", she stuttered through her tears.

Pinkie Pie looked up into the mayor's eyes and said, "Not really! I get to play with her all the time now! I'm just a little upset that she didn't last very long."

Mayor Mare stopped trying to hold back her tears at this point. She saw the wings fluttering on Pinkie's monstrosity that numbered eight, and the necklace of unicorn horns that clacked together each time she moved, and just gave in.

"Just... kill me.", Mayor Mare stated after awhile with tears in her eyes.

"Aww, but that wouldn't be any fun!", Pinkie said as she picked up a large cork screw and walked over to Mayor Mare's right side. She placed the normally unimtimadating tool on Mayor Mare's tibia, and began to turn it slowly.

At first all she could feel was the heat from the friction of the turn motion against her hide, but Pinkie Pie slowly and methodically applied more and more pressure until it finally breached the skin and flesh. The sudden entry of the foriegn object made Mayor Mare gasp out in pain, which quickly became shreiks as the corkscrew started boring it way into her bone.

"Please stop! PLEASE! STOP!", she screeched, but Pinkie Pie just stuck her tongue out, slightly biting it, and forced even more pressure onto it.

Mayor Mare started trying to buck her legs, but since they were tightly secured, she couldn't do much other than wiggle around trying to get the crazed pink mare to listen to reason.

"You have to stop moving around mayor.", Pinkie said with a smile, "You could get hurt.", she said as she grabbed the corkscrew's handle in her mouth and yanked it towards herself.

Mayor Mare bellowed out in agony when she felt the cruel device that was screwed into her leg be pulled to the side with such force. The bone started audibly cracking but before it could break Pinkie ened her assualt.

Mayor Mare began panting as the pain started to immediately die down to that of just a broken bone rather than being struck by a constant bolt of lightening. Pinkie Pie placed her hoof back onto the handle of the corkscrew and turned it once more, causing the mayor to writhe in pain once more. This time however Pinkie Pie didn't yank on the tool, instead she just placed her other hoof on Mayor Mare's leg to hold it still and pressed down even harder as she turned it. She screwed up her face in concentration until finally the corkscrew suddenly jerked forward through the remainder of the bone, and into the calf muscle.

Pinkie's eyes lit up with excitement when this happened, and her smile grew larger. It was almost like she couldn't hear the soul wrenching cries of the mayor at all. The mayor screamed with all of her might as the twisted piece of metal broke through her bone and into the muscle on the other side.


Pinkie Pie looked back at the mayor's face and said, "I already told you silly! Your number came up!"


"Oh! Well you see mayor, whenever I meet a new pony, I assign them a number in my head." Pinkie tapped her head with her hoof, "Then, after I get back home later that day, I write down their name in my book with their number, and I add their number to this!", Pinkie said as she pulled out a raffling ball out of seemingly no where, "To get my next extra special helper," Pinkie leaned towards Mayor Mare and whispered loudly, "that's you," before continuing with her explaination, "I just mix it up like this," she began rolling the ball with her snout, "and reach in, pull out a number, then I match the number to the pony, aaaannnnddd BINGO!" Pinkie Pie puffed out her chest out of pride a little and asked, "Pretty smart huh?"

Pinkie Pie looked at Mayor Mare, who was trying to break out of the metal shackles once more and asked, "Did you even hear me?", in a hurt tone.

She waited for Mayor Mare to respond but she didn't. She just keep on trying to get free of the table she was attached to and escape to sweet freedom.

"You're being very rude!", Pinkie exclaimed with a certain sternness in her voice.

"I'M BEING RUDE!?", Mayor Mare shouted.

"Yeah! You're yelling at me, ignoring my stories, and you don't want to play with me. That's very rude!", Pinkie stated with a hoofstomp for each thing on her list as she said it.

"YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!", Mayor Mare hollared even louder.

"So every pony else will be happy!", Pinkie said.


"The cupcakes you help me make will make them happier!", Pinkie said with a bounce.

"YOU'RE SICK!", Mayor Mare exclaim through her thick fog of pain.

Pinkie Pie held one of her hooves up to her forehead, "Ya think so? I don't feel very warm."

"Please Pinkie, please, just... let me go. Please.", Mayor Mare said in the calmest voice she could muster.

Pinkie Pie simply shook her head, "I told you, silly filly!", she tried to stifle a giggle, "I can't do that.", she said with a wide grin, "Now where were we?", she said as she surveyed the immediate area.

"Pl...e... ease, please. Please let me... let me go.", Mayor Mare blubbered along with one last feeble attempt to break free on her own.

Pinkie Pie just shook her head. She had never seen a pony cry like this before. Normally they would have given up by now, but the mayor just kept on trying, and this made Pinkie smile. She was going to have a lot of fun this time around.

She walked back over to Mayor Mare's side and placed her hoof back on the corkscrew. Mayor Mare gave a staggered gasp, and pleadingly looked into Pinkie's eyes. Pinkie Pie smile brightly twisted and pushed down as hard as she could. The corkscrew tore through the muscle and curled out the other side of the mayor's leg. Pinkie Pie however kept twisting the tool downwards and evenually it began embedding itself into the wood of the table.

Mayor Mare cried out from the pain of her muscle being tormented in such a way. She didn't know how much more she could take, but she was sure it wasn't much. Pinkie Pie walked over to the cart and grabbed another corkscrew.

"Oh mayor!", she sang, "Guess what?"

"No. Please. NO! NOOOOO!", Mayor Mare shouted as she saw what Pinkie was holding.

Pinkie Pie snorted and laughed, as she walked back over to the mayor. She placed the corkscrew over the mayor's other leg, and once again began screwing it into her. Pinkie Pie screwed the corkscrew all the way through the mayor's left leg before she realized that the mayor had decided to take a nap.

"Everytime I invite another pony to help me make cupcakes.", Pinkie mutter under her breath.

She walked over to a corner of the room and grabbed her medical bag. As she approached the mayor she placed the bag on the ground and began to rummage through it. She pulled out a syringe of adrinaline, but before she stuck the mayor with it an idea popped into her mind.


Mayor Mare's eyes shot open from the icy water's contact with her body, and she instantly began screaming. Her legs felt as if they were on fire due to the corkscrews and the removal of her cutie marks, but now the pain had spread across all of her legs. She looked around and saw that now all of her legs had corkscrews through them, and that the corkscrews themselves also penetrated the table, screwing her in place.

Pinkie stood off to the side holding a bucket and smiling brightly. She tossed the bucket behind her and walked around to the right side of the table. She undid all of the shackles that held Mayor Mare in place one by one with a smile.

"Y... you're letting me go?", Mayor Mare asked with hope filling her voice.

"Um... something like that.", Pinkie said as she undid the last shackle.

Mayor Mare tried to bolt off the table and through the door, but the corkscrews held her in place. Pinkie Pie smiled even larger when she saw that her plan was working. She skipped back around the table and hummed tunelessly until she reached Mayor Mare's right side. Pinkie Pie placed a hoof on the turn wheel and began rotating it.

Mayor Mare felt the table begin to shift, and she realized that by turning that wheel Pinkie Pie was making the table go upright. She looked at each of the corkscrews and gulped. The table slowly lurched upright and soon Mayor Mare's weight was being supported solely by the corkscrews.

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Comments ( 35 )



Why do I see Pinkie's reason for killing ponies as a good reason?! :unsuresweetie: She's killing ponies, I shouldn't agree with her!

Too creepy for my taste. Think of the kids here.

And thus, the weirdo we all know and love returns (to pony gore)!

Yessssss. The return of crazy Pinkie. :pinkiecrazy:

HA HA HA YES! She's returned. :pinkiecrazy:

I assume that no one is disapointed correct?

I took out the foal's heads on the table. That's as child friendly I'm getting with this. Sorry.


I understand. Still after your abomination known as "Cupcakes", I needed some brain bleach. A lot of it. The brain bleach in question was the fanfic known as Cupcakes: A** Kicking, where in the first chapter, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash get their revenge on the writer of Cupcakes. Check it out. It blows Cupcakes out of the water.

2045452 GOOD TO HAVE YA BACK Serg post this as a FULL FLEDGE STORY

Beautiful. Just, beautiful. Not only have you provided more content, you have provided background as to why all this happens. For future recommendations, maybe you could explain the numbers?

Overall, definitely giving this story a like, and a favorite.


You said you weren't writing dark again. But this, is an upgrade over standard Cupcakes.


How accurate was their depiction of Sgt. Sprinkles here?

2046964 Pretty accurate, though the story refers to his actual name as Mr. ****.

It was good yeah, but blow it out of the water? No. But then again my opinion is biased. To each his own.

Oh. My. God. You wrote more. I love you. As a bro. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

:rainbowderp: (Smiles uneasily) okay.... (starts backing away slowly)

2054020 (:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:) Mooooar. Moar cupcakes! :pinkiesad2: Pwease?

I couldn't stop it now even if I wanted to. :pinkiehappy::heart::pinkiecrazy:

2056480 You've got me inspired to work on my own cupcakes-verse fic Ive hiatused. :heart:

By the way, their depiction of me was off. I wouldn't cry, piss myself, and pass out. Would I be speechless? Yes, but after the intial impact of them being real, and that they were out to get me wore off, I'd laugh.


I'm almost finished with the story. I think we should all take a lttle time to thank Mayor Mare and Pinkie Pie for the generous portions of blood and gore we are about to recieve.:pinkiecrazy:

And can anyone cone up with a better title? I would also like to have some help with editing.


I'd dig helping you edit, but I may not get back to you for a day or two. Would that be alright?

Sure, but it'll have to wait till Saturday.


I'm down with that, man, just do what you've gotta do.

2089474 Title eh? Hmm... Where here's an idea, it's not a good one but I'm sure it'll work. Try "Cupcakes: The Second Batch."

Well its already up as Cupcakes: Cupcakes FOREVER

2156659 And ever and ever and ever and ever...

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